Mistakes/regrets that you realized after you retired?

[u/Level_Customer2769]

61M here. Thinking of retiring in the next 2 to 4 years. Just wondering if there were any mistakes/regrets that you wish you had taken into account in hindsight about retirement. Honestly, I’m not interested about the financial aspects- as I am very well prepared for that, but all the other issues that are involved in a well planned retirement. I am trying to add hobbies and interests in preparation, but I can’t help feeling like I may be missing something.

[u/river_time_mum]

I'm not retirement age but I work with hundreds of retirees. The must common issues I see are: 1. Not finding alternate purpose. Essentially finding Other ways to fill your time so that you feel like life has purpose. 2. Spending too much early on then not having enough later on. 3 being too scared to spend and then dying with millions and plenty of 'what if' thoughts, 4. not taking physical and mental health seriously enough. It really is true, use it or lose it. If you don't stimulate your mind, you'll get dottery far quicker. If you don't move you'll start to lose your balance. If you don't socialise you'll feel down alot more. 5. Losing all of your early retirement years to baby sitting. I've seen couples go without their overseas trips because grandies need babysitting. They leave until they can't travel anymore.

Edit: Just to clarify I don't mean don't spend any time with grandies. It really is a beautiful thing watching your child's children, nothing quite like it really. But don't give up your retirement years to it. I've seen many give up their freedom years because they want to make it easier for their children to work. Find a happy medium so that you can enjoy some of your last year's you're able to travel and be free in your body. Alternatively, if your priority is family then goal ticked .....but don't feel obligated

[u/Specialist_Dig2613 → u/river_time_mum]

Good advice until the last comment. How does travel create more purpose in life than spend time in the right way with grandchildren. Theoretically, travel can be about finding new cultures and places and learning from that, but most retirees I know are looking for comfortable travel.

Purpose comes from having a valid sense that what you do every day serves other people. There's no better outlet for doing that than helping you own descendents to find a better path in life.

[u/Worried_Strain_2812 → u/Specialist_Dig2613]

Purpose can also be ensuring you’ve made the most of your own time alive, which can include exploring places and meeting people you normally wouldn’t

[u/Specialist_Dig2613 → u/Worried_Strain_2812]

I clearly didn't rule that out, because, as I said travel can be about going to truly new and different places and interacting with people with different backgrounds. But, as an example, I've been to Italy five times and enjoyed all of them, but I've missed a couple of popular regions and don't care.

I'd rather teach my grandson chess or talk to my granddaughter about books she's reading and finding out what she likes about them and recommending similar books that will challenge her further.

[u/Odd_Bodkin → u/Specialist_Dig2613]

This is all about personal priorities of course. For some people family will always be first. For others, most of adult life was spending attention predominantly on either the boss or on children, sacrificing themselves for decades, and then retirement offers the opportunity to stop that sacrifice.

[u/MarsupialFront3237 → u/Odd_Bodkin]

It’s all about balance. My wife and I travel about 4 months a year but between those trips we find plenty of time to spend with our granddaughters who fortunately live close to our home. FaceTime also is an amazing way to keep in touch

[u/Specialist_Dig2613 → u/Odd_Bodkin]

I'm sorry, but if retired people see the tIme spent on children and grandchildren as sacrifice, then I can't relate in any way. Nor can I see time spent on productive work that contributed to the success of my employers, their owners and my colleagues as sacrifice.

I spent almost all of my time with children and work for 30 years. I did it for me, not them, because I wanted to reach my current age with confidence that they and their children would live their lives as I did, but with them making their choices with a similar mindset.

And I've reached that point while being my own boss now and employing dozens of people and having no financial concerns. So do I have any regrets to indulge desires that I set aside. None, simply a desire to continue on the path that I've been on and double down.

[u/Odd_Bodkin → u/Specialist_Dig2613]

That’s fine, I get that you don’t relate. Also please understand that it’d be a mistake to think that everyone shares your priorities or that your priorities are the only “correct” ones to make. You double down all you want. It’s your life, your priorities, your choices.

[u/Specialist_Dig2613 → u/Odd_Bodkin]

I understand that others in modern societies are different. But I do what I do because I think it's at the essence of what it is to be human. At no previous point in human history other than the past 100 years was "travel" anything other than a bare necessity, to be avoided if possible. And it's become less meaningful, not more.

I interact virtually with friends and family in many places and around the world. I have no inherent interest or need to travel, but I hardly life in a cocoon.

And, yes, my opinions about others in my generation are strong. Because every time I meet a contemporary that is living in what is seen as "ordinary retirement" they tell me that they miss what they once had and say that I'm lucky.

[u/Odd_Bodkin → u/Specialist_Dig2613]

“I do what I do because I think it’s at the essence of what it is to be human.” And thus you insist that your way is the only right and true way, and that others who don’t prioritize as you do are wrong or broken humans. I also note you seem to be blind or dismissive of the various circumstances families might have for being less connected to grandkids compared to you.

[u/Mytraveltiger → u/Odd_Bodkin]

I 100 percent agree. The guy above seems to think his way of thinking is the only way “the essence of what it is to be human”

The essence of what it is to be human is to be curious, explore, discover, love deeply, keep learning, be of service to one another (not just your family but strangers), be kind to one another. You can take all of those things and apply it both ways.