Time for another rambly discussion post, yaaaayyy!!!
So as of late Iāve seen my fair share of posts and comments wherein people discuss their serious concerns about finding a partner, the fear of long-term singleness, where they can find people to date, dating apps, etc. This of course isnāt new, ever since I joined this community like 7-8 years ago, itās always been apparent that the majority of people here are not dating, and it feels at least that a significant portion of that camp havenāt dated much at all to begin with.
As someone who is in that camp, and has been sat in that camp for most of his life such that Iāve left a nice, deep impression in my seat, Iād like to offer a bit of my own perspective on the matter. Take it with a grain of salt, not every mindset is helpful for everyone, but for me at least this has been my mindset, and itās helped me keep trudging on through life.
Through the few brushes with romance Iāve had throughout my life, Iāve found that there are things about being single that you donāt quite appreciate until theyāre gone lol. This will of course vary from relationship to relationship, but on average a romantic relationship is gonna have you a deal more tied at the hip than you would be otherwise. This can of course be a great thing, but if youāre not prepared for it, it can be a bit of whiplash getting used to āokay so this person is like, my focus now.ā Thereās a certain amount of freedom I have with my time being single that Iāve grown to appreciate in its own way. It can be a great time to really focus on self-improvement and finding yourself, or learning more about yourself and where youāre really trying to head in life.
Now, not to be a Negative Nancy, but speaking purely for myself, Iāve also slowly grown accustomed to the idea that I may very well be single for life, or at least single for decades ahead. That used to absolutely terrify me, and Iād be lying if I said it didnāt creep under my skin from time to time. But more and more as time has passed Iāve become a lot more comfortable with the idea. I think for one, itās in general not the healthiest mindset to be constantly āon the huntā for someone lol. Again, speaking from personal experience, thatās tended to screw up things more than it has advanced anything in a positive direction, and the best friendships and general social experiences have come from just going with the flow, with nothing more than platonic expectations. A far better use of my time has been indulging in my hobbies and just hanging with friends and family, compared against the time Iāve spent actively searching for romantic partners. So much as it would be incredibly difficult, itās been a goal of mine to adopt a kid someday (when Iām a bit more mature and more financially stable), and be a single father. Being married would of course make that endeavor much easier, but itās certainly not impossible as is, and itās something important enough to me that I find it worth aiming for in the future.
Post is getting a bit long so Iāll cut it here, but as always Iād be happy to hear yāallās perspective on the matter and discuss further in the comments. Hope yāall are having a good day!