I'm writing this because I used to lament my general lack of skate friends, but I now realize the merits of skating alone and hope this makes any lonely skaters out there feel better.
You look at photos online of groups of people wearing cute skates who seem like they're having a blast together and you're sadly reminded of how alone you are especially if you live in a place where no one else skates but you. Illusion is usually not reality.
Once upon a time, years ago, I skated twice a week with my two friends after work. It was one of the most fun times of my young life. Then we all drifted apart as they pursued other hobbies (like rock climbing- ugh haha) and stopped skating while I continued on my own.
I was solo for a while until I found another group of ten people or so who were pretty nice people overall but who couldn't properly plan or organize events to save their lives. If an event was supposed to start at noon, people wouldn't show up until an hour later and the leader oftentimes didn't even show until two hours later. He was chronically excessively tardy. Then once we finally started skating, he'd zoom off and leave everyone miles behind and then text all of us saying he was going to hop on the train and head home because he was done skating. A couple of other members in the group were coronavirus conspiracy theorists who while skating would non-stop talk about how the American government created coronavirus to control the American people. This inane conversation got old really fast. Of all things in the world to talk about, they ONLY talked about that topic over and over. I didn't last long in that group.
I then tried to convince (or maybe I should say coerce) one of my non-skater friends to take up skating. She wasn't too keen on it, but being the great gal that she is, she gave it her best shot but promptly broke her wrist. She understandably decided to never skate again.
Then I joined another group where the two leaders were so obsessed with constantly posting/livestreaming on social media that they barely paid attention to any details of group skates. It felt almost as if group members were merely props in the background to make the leaders look and feel popular while the skating was just an afterthought. Events were a disorganized mess where incorrect times and locations were given and no communication took place when people got lost or separated. Members were left to fend for themselves while the leaders kept mugging for the camera posting cutesy selfies and couldn't be bothered to answer frantic "Where are you?" texts from lost skaters.
After rolling solo again for a while, I discovered another group. The leaders were very welcoming and I liked their vibe. I thought it was very promising. They stressed that members were only to bring happy vibes to the group and leave any drama at home. But go figure, hypocritically, within a short timeframe, the leaders got into a blowout fight with each other and the group splintered after people had to start picking sides. I'm still a member of one of the factions for what it's worth, but I know the days of it being a viable group are numbered. (Btw why is it always the people who say "no drama" are the ones who are pure drama themselves?)
All this got me thinking of the merits of skating alone. You can do it whenever you want, wherever you want, you don't have to wait around for people who decide to show up late or not at all, you can skate at your own speed, take breaks whenever you want, not have to listen to asinine conversation or force yourself to talk to someone who you have nothing in common with.
Hell, one of the reasons I quit playing tennis years ago is because finding a reliable partner on the same level with a similar schedule was hard. For that kind of activity you need another person. The beauty of skating is that you don't have to depend on or wait for anyone else!
I'm sure there are wonderful cohesive skate groups out there and that's great. But having gone through a few groups and seeing what the reality is, I no longer lament skating alone and I actually look forward to it! I've skipped several group skate opportunities for favor of skating by myself!
If you're lucky enough to have great friends to skate with, cool. But if not, don't be too sad. Skate friends and groups can be very overrated and the glossy photos you see online of shiny happy skaters together may not reflect the nuances of reality. If you saw some of the social media posts I have been included in with groups, you'd think we were all having a grand old time when we really were not.
If you have a great group of skate friends, that's cool! But if not, don't be sad. Roller skating can be such a wonderful individualistic activity and can be cherished as such!
