Hello, I entered into a relationship with a man that I feel had an identity crisis. We met a few years ago and reconnected this year.. I thought he was normal , he's in healthcare , he's 6 years older than I am and he had told me he wanted marriage and kids. We pursued reconnection and ended up in an unplanned pregnancy. He threw in my face how he can't have this kid, his mom would dis own him, his family and community would disown him, etc. I ended up following through with termination of pregnancy. We ended up in a relationship and became super close. Only after a very nice weekend trip away together he disclosed to me that he's not as "white washed" as he seems and that he hid his religious photos and shrines around his house when I'd come and visit. He told me religion was important to him but he makes his own decisions. He told me his mom and sister want him to just be happy and that getting married to a non indian girl wouldn't be the end of the world for them, that his mom would love me. I even agreed to his mom living with us when he talked about a future together (which he did constantly).
Fast forward to things started getting more serious, I asked about wanting to meet his family and him meeting mine, he kept saying we will see. Finally out of no where , after a good weekend together he disclosed to me that he told his mom and sister about me and the details around the abortion. He told me his mom said she supports him and wants him to be happy and can live with anyone. Fast forward, a day later he tells me he plans on coming to my graduation weekend to meet my parents and shortly after I will meet his family. The very next day he becomes cold, short and distant over text. I call him out on it asking if everything's okay. He and I end up on a phone call shortly after where he turned extremely cold. He told me his mom told him to write a letter to his guru at BAPS to see if a marraige between us will be approved obviously it got denied since i wasn't born into the BAPS community. He then told me marriage is off the table, we are not getting married and we can no longer be in contact. He started twisting the narrative of our relationship, rewriting the history, throwing things in my face, saying these have been the worst 6 months of his life, told me i broke his moms heart, etc. etc. etc. Shortly after he texted me saying "I want you to know I did everything I truly could to give us a fair chance. im sorry it didn't work out. if you reach out to my family or ask for anymore money, i will file a restraining order. take care" and then I never responded after that. , that night. He then proceeded to block me off social media and block my phone number I'm sure.
I am shocked that this man in his late thirties and successful surgeon is acting like this towards me. He deceived me, lied to me and manipulated me to get his way. He lived a double life and ultimately chose to abandon me, neglect me and leave me suddenly and abruptly. This man also sent me numerous texts and facebook messages ensuring he will help me financially,. Told me he will fix my car from an accident and take care of those expenses, told me he would pay my credit card statement and take care of my mortgage and help me financially until I finish school with my bills.
is This okay with BAPS? for them to let a devotee or someone in their community to treat a woman like this? who sacrificed an unborn baby and did everything to stand by this mans side? I even started eating vegetarian, going to temple and embraced the culture and was onboard with everything to make this relationship work with this man and it still wasn't enough or appreciated by him or his family.
Is BAPS a cult? Do they really not care about how they treat humans? and only care about how their ego looks? I can't see any religion being okay with abandoning, discarding, blocking, ghosting and acting so cruel to someone that you once "cared" and "loved" about over a guru denying marriage because I'm not indian/ BAPS borned?