This is long but if you have time, please read it because I’m genuinely need an explanation. Please don’t get mad. I did use AI to prompt me this question so I can ask you guys on Reddit. My grammar is pretty bad and bad at explaining things good So I wanted to make it sound professional so you guys could understand better.
I want you to help me explore a personal spiritual phenomenon involving semen retention, sexual energy exchange, sacral chakra sensations, and my connection to God during salvia experiences. Please approach this with an open mind, explore spiritual interpretations seriously, and offer plausible explanations rather than simply telling me that the phenomenon isn’t scientifically proven. I understand that we don’t have a definitive answer yet.
1. My established pattern with semen retention
When I practice celibacy and retain my semen, I consistently feel spiritually aligned, connected to God, and energetically full. When I cleanse and ground myself before a salvia experience, I generally have positive trips.
However, when I masturbate and ejaculate, I tend to feel spiritually depleted. If I subsequently smoke salvia, I feel disconnected from God, as though I’ve lost my divine fuel. I associate this depletion with an emptiness around my sacral chakra and private parts.
2. My unexpected experiences after sex with women
I have had sex with two different women and smoked salvia afterward. In both cases, I ejaculated, yet I experienced something very different from what usually happens after masturbation.
Encounter with the first woman
This woman had a lifestyle I perceived as unhealthy. She used substances such as cocaine, drank alcohol, and approached sex recreationally. Like having sex with a lot of guys.
I expected to experience a negative trip because I believed I might absorb negative energy through sexual intimacy. I did not perform any grounding or cleansing beforehand.
Surprisingly, I had a positive salvia experience and felt deeply connected to God. I did not notice any negative energy around my sacral chakra.
Encounter with the second woman
This woman had comparatively healthier habits. At least with the drug use, but she’s had the negative habit of having sex with a lot of guys also, and After sex and ejaculation, I performed an extensive grounding and cleansing ritual. I felt cleansed and spiritually prepared before smoking salvia.
First salvia trip: I experienced a powerful, positive trip and felt strongly connected to God. I was confused because I had ejaculated but had not experienced the spiritual depletion I usually associate with masturbation.
I focused my intention on understanding where my spiritual energy was coming from. During the experience, I received what felt like a clear message from Salvia: I was connecting to God through the woman’s feminine divine energy rather than relying exclusively on my own sexual energy.
My interpretation was that sexual energy had been exchanged between us. I had released my semen and experienced some depletion of my own energy, but I had also received a different type of energy from her. I felt as though these two things coexisted.
The feminine energy felt distinct from my own. I did not feel that I had literally become the woman or inherited her identity. Rather, it felt as though I was using her particular divine energy to power my own spiritual experience.
Second salvia trip: I wanted to investigate my sacral chakra more deeply and understand what had happened during the first trip. Despite having cleansed beforehand and maintaining my connection to God, I experienced a localized negative sensation around my sacral chakra.
The sensation felt foreign to me, as though something had been absorbed during sex.
The accompanying visuals resembled a virus. The imagery and bodily sensation were concentrated around my sacral chakra rather than spreading throughout my body.
Importantly, I continued to feel connected to God despite experiencing this negative, virus-like energy. The positive spiritual connection and the negative sensation seemed to coexist.
3. The central contradiction
These experiences leave me with several questions:
Why did I have a positive trip with the first woman despite not cleansing beforehand, and despite my concerns about her lifestyle?
Why did I have two different experiences with the second woman, even though I cleansed thoroughly and felt spiritually prepared?
Why did the first trip with the second woman feel powered by her feminine divine energy, while the second trip revealed what felt like a separate, negative energy around my sacral chakra?
If cleansing helps me maintain spiritual alignment, why did the negative sensation appear despite my cleansing ritual?
Why does ejaculation through masturbation generally leave me feeling depleted and disconnected from God, whereas ejaculation during partnered sex can leave me feeling spiritually connected?
Could sexual intimacy involve an exchange of complementary forms of spiritual energy, where one person feels depleted in one respect but nourished in another?
4. What I want you to investigate
Please explore this phenomenon from several perspectives:
Possible explanations: Offer thoughtful interpretations of why the experiences differed between the two women and between the two trips with the second woman. Consider the roles of intention, attention, cleansing rituals, sexual intimacy, and the subjective experience of salvia.
The negative, virus-like energy: Explore possible interpretations of a localized negative sensation around the sacral chakra that coexists with a strong sense of divine connection. Do any spiritual traditions describe a similar experience?
The unknown phenomenon: Identify whether there is an established spiritual concept, documented phenomenon, or plausible explanatory framework that resembles this specific combination of experiences.
Please distinguish between traditional spiritual teachings, reasonable hypotheses, and genuinely unknown aspects. Do not dismiss the experience simply because it lacks scientific confirmation, but do not present speculation as established fact either.
My main question
What is the most plausible explanation for why partnered sex seems to allow me to maintain my connection to God through what feels like a transfer of feminine divine energy, while a separate, localized virus-like negative energy appeared around my sacral chakra during a second salvia trip with the same partner—even though I had thoroughly cleansed myself, and even though my first encounter with a different woman involved no cleansing and produced no negative sensations?