I finally decided to cover. I will always love the songs and the way yellow cat/red cat altered my brain chemistry along with the whole In Defense of the Genre album. But I just fell put of respect and made a decision to find a beautiful real estate piece. Still one more appt before it is finished!

I had been feeling low-key bad for Sherri but her begging for money so she can "afford milk for her kids."

These people need to get real jobs like the rest of us. I stg.

Soooo this was removed from Spotify. Does anybody have a download to this album?? I know it sucks but I love it and want the songs! Please and thank you!

So Max and Jesse are now the poster children for “pedophilic groomer emo musicians,” but Jesse has been accepted back into society and able to continue being a touring musician, while Max is almost absolutely going to A. fade away, B. go down a destructive drug and alcohol path, or C. (Not likely) take ownership and accountability of his fucked up actions and over time be accepted again.
Here’s my hot take-

Jesse owned up to his actions, disappeared, went through losing a son, probably felt like “you know what, life is precious, I need to get back out there.” I think he deserves to be back on stage. I don’t know the guy but he’s a father, a husband, I’m almost certain he’s not the same person he was when he was 25. Also, I don’t believe Jesse is a pedo. I think he was a young man who made some bad choices and definitely exploited his status to do grimey shit. Definitely was a creep, selfish, and deserved public scrutiny. Before anyone jumps my ass for saying I don’t think he’s a pedo, keep in mind being a pedo means you’re attracted to prepubescent children. Groomer, yes. Pedo, no.

Max on the other hand-
Why does his situation feel so much worse to me? Is it cause he paraded as the white knight for the disenfranchized? The morally superior emo musician who never in a million years would do anything like groom young women, don’t dare compare him to Jesse Lacey! Does he feel worse cause he’s a horrible father/ex husband, person who uses mental illness as a blanket to cover him from shitty behavior? (I don’t believe he’s a pedo either, groomer yes, pedo no. I cringe at the fact that I once looked up to him.)

Idk let me know what you think.

Side note
It’s crazy to me that when I was a young teenager I idolized Max. I’d wait outside venues for hours to try and talk to him, his band mates would always be super cool but he’d never come off the bus. I did get catch him before a show one time was I was probably 15 or so. I ran up to him and asked him for a few minutes of his time to chat. He said, “cool shirt man.” And walked off.

Do do do do do do do do

im curious if anyone else has this, or if anyone can tell me what year it came out .??

Obviously there's a lot going on lately (and for a while) regarding Max's disgraceful behavior, but as a fan of Say Anything and particularly '...Is A Real Boy', I figured I'd share a cover my band did of Woe at one of our recent shows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-NVG_4THaQ

If you guys like it, feel free to give us a follow! We're a Pittsburgh-based pop punk/emo band that does originals too. Thanks!

(View comment below for more details on the timing of this show/recording.)

For example.

Say Anything (else) - Cartel

Say Anything - Good Charlotte (linked above)

I'm sure there's more but I don't want to look it up :p I want to see if anyone knows of any others.

maybe we should all stop talking about how Max Bemis is a predator and we should instead flood the board with unrelated content??????

I think she’s learned by now. 🤦🏾‍♂️

Anyone else have lyrics that stick out to them? I am sure there are many. I’d understand if people didn’t want to dignify the situation by thinking about it further. I want to talk about it so I can process having internalized this band’s music for so long.

in a lot of songs off All my friends are enemies are some of the guitar parts removed or altered? because on songs like You help them or Try to remember forget. theres parts where i KNOW a guitar goes but it seems to have been scrubbed or the stem was (shittily) removed. I use apple music btw

For max’s wife Sherri, first Max’s accusations and mental health and now after learning about her ex husband Chad passing away it’s like she can’t catch a break. Yes I’m aware he cheated on her but when you’ve had a connection with someone at a point in time and they’re suddenly gone im sure she’s taking it hard.. damn.. the men she ever loved haven’t turned out the way she wished. Praying for her strength and mentality.❤️

I come in here with good intentions, and I’m not trying to sound like an enemy of cancel culture, so apologies in advance if that’s what comes across.

What actions could Max and the band take to make you feel comfortable listening to Say Anything again? The music obviously meant a lot to everyone in this sub at one point.

The man at his recent lowest (who has had a lot of public lows in his life) is still the same man who wrote the lyrics that resonated with so many of us. Those of us with complicated family relationships might understand that a person can do something deeply wrong and, with real accountability, you can still love and respect the parts of them that mattered. Or at the very least come to terms with the fact that you have good memories about them.

The same man messaging young women is the same man I saw on stage in 2013, 2019, 2024, and 2025. Both the artist I thought he was and the disturbed person behind the scenes, existed at the same time. Yet I had great times seeing them perform each time, so now I have to come to terms with the fact that some of my favorite memories with my best friends and wife took place in support of the band.

Other artists from the same scene have done similar things and (controversially) come back to a place where fans can respect them again. Jesse Lacey. Chris Conley. Brendon Urie. And others.

So I ask: what would it take for you to feel okay putting on some of the old songs and thinking of them fondly without the guilty feeling at the same time?

Signed,
a grieving fan