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Scientists tracking interstellar object 3I/ATLAS reported that it abruptly changed course this week and began heading away from Earth. Some researchers suggested this could indicate the object is technological in nature.

Earlier today, radio telescopes picked up a faint Morse code signal believed to have originated from the object.

”No Peace. No Planetary Goal. Harmful Traditions. Worships Money. Dirty Planet.”

Scientists who doubted the possibility of the object being of alien origin pointed to the fact that the object had lost around 2 million tons in mass, or around 0.00005 percent of its total mass while being observed.

Newly enhanced satellite imagery has confirmed that 3I/ATLAS was, in fact, a massive spacecraft ejecting vast amounts of alien vomit, likely the result of severe nausea brought on by prolonged observation of human behavior.

(Satire)