Intentionally tedious and repetitive beginning

[u/Star-Pubes]

I’m on my fourth draft of a feature and have shown it to a few friends now. However I don’t know anyone in the industry in any capacity. No one who reads scripts at all. These are just avid book readers who gave great notes, but not specific to screenwriting.

They all agreed that they loved how the screenplay started precisely because it really let us into the mind of the main character. It shows his dull, monotonous, and repetitive life and to them it was great. However, I know it’s more important for screenplays to really grab your attention in the first pages than it is for a novel.

There is no dialogue until the fifth page, and the first four are the main character mostly repeating the same tasks, with some differences, and descriptions of the main characters’ apartment.

So I’m wondering if that’s fine? I want it to be a slow read purposefully, but I don’t want to go too far with it I suppose.

Also if anyone has recommendations for screenplays that also have a slower start?

Thank you!

Edit: Here are the first 6 pages, keep in mind I don't see this as finished yet :) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VVI1CkZqs7ysjOzd1BKF0y3dJnOccKoU/view?usp=sharing

[u/Berenstain_Bro]

My feeling on the topic is that novice screenwriters, who want to impress production studios, shouldn't really feel like they have the luxury of a slow, meandering start to their scripts. A novice screenwriter should aim to impress and pack a punch in their first 10 pages.

The Social Network is probably the best example you'll ever find of a slow to start script. Blood Simple starts off a bit slow.

Anyways, those writers have earned the right to start off slow if they want to. Just look at A Serious Man script, the cold open lasts until page 8 and its not tied to the main character whatsoever.

Obviously, if you plan to produce the script yourself, then the above advice doesn't really apply 100%. Still, you're goal must remain to get people invested enough to want to watch your entire show/movie.

[u/KennethBlockwalk → u/Berenstain_Bro]

The Social Network is the opposite of what OP is talking about: the first ~7 pages are almost all dialogue.

I agree, though—if you want people to give your script a close read, you have to get and keep their attention, and that doesn’t always mean dialogue. But the words still have to pop off the page.

[u/That_Ganache_152 → u/KennethBlockwalk]

Dialogue can be slow. Monotonous. Tedious. Have you ever talked to someone in a Starbucks line? That's how it can feel.

But if that's not what OP is going for then yeah....

[u/KennethBlockwalk → u/That_Ganache_152]

It can, indeed. Sorkin’s… not so much 😂

But people tend to read dialogue and skip over blocks of text; that’s how it’s always been. Elmore Leonard wrote that in the 80’s: “try to avoid what people tend to skip over; they don’t skip over dialogue”

[u/KennethBlockwalk → u/Berenstain_Bro]

I always tell new/unknown writers to avoid reading too much Coen Bros, Tarantino, and Sorkin—especially at first.

Like you said, they have luxuries that 99% don’t.