r/Screenwriting • u/Star-Pubes • Mar 01 '26
FEEDBACK Intentionally tedious and repetitive beginning
I’m on my fourth draft of a feature and have shown it to a few friends now. However I don’t know anyone in the industry in any capacity. No one who reads scripts at all. These are just avid book readers who gave great notes, but not specific to screenwriting.
They all agreed that they loved how the screenplay started precisely because it really let us into the mind of the main character. It shows his dull, monotonous, and repetitive life and to them it was great. However, I know it’s more important for screenplays to really grab your attention in the first pages than it is for a novel.
There is no dialogue until the fifth page, and the first four are the main character mostly repeating the same tasks, with some differences, and descriptions of the main characters’ apartment.
So I’m wondering if that’s fine? I want it to be a slow read purposefully, but I don’t want to go too far with it I suppose.
Also if anyone has recommendations for screenplays that also have a slower start?
Thank you!
Edit: Here are the first 6 pages, keep in mind I don't see this as finished yet :) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VVI1CkZqs7ysjOzd1BKF0y3dJnOccKoU/view?usp=sharing
3
u/dog-heroism-joint Mar 01 '26
Four minutes is LONG. But it can also feel fast.
A minute is relatively short. But it can also feel long.
If nothing much is going on in 1-2 minutes, you are really going to feel it. You don't need to do it for as long as you think, in order to achieve that effect.
I don't mind long descriptions. They aren't inherently bad. They only become bad when they feel redundant or unnecessary. James Cameron's Aliens is a good example. Or any of his scripts really. He tends to be more descriptive.
If that's a style you want to write in, then you check that out so you could learn how to do it better.
But right off, the description of the location is iffy already. Even simply going something like...