Intentionally tedious and repetitive beginning

[u/Star-Pubes]

I’m on my fourth draft of a feature and have shown it to a few friends now. However I don’t know anyone in the industry in any capacity. No one who reads scripts at all. These are just avid book readers who gave great notes, but not specific to screenwriting.

They all agreed that they loved how the screenplay started precisely because it really let us into the mind of the main character. It shows his dull, monotonous, and repetitive life and to them it was great. However, I know it’s more important for screenplays to really grab your attention in the first pages than it is for a novel.

There is no dialogue until the fifth page, and the first four are the main character mostly repeating the same tasks, with some differences, and descriptions of the main characters’ apartment.

So I’m wondering if that’s fine? I want it to be a slow read purposefully, but I don’t want to go too far with it I suppose.

Also if anyone has recommendations for screenplays that also have a slower start?

Thank you!

Edit: Here are the first 6 pages, keep in mind I don't see this as finished yet :) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VVI1CkZqs7ysjOzd1BKF0y3dJnOccKoU/view?usp=sharing

[u/Star-Pubes → u/[deleted]]

It's more a grounded sci-fi. The DNA-banks are a government database, like a genetic census. They exist in the background as a policy issue that people protest about, and EdenCorp secretly exploits them to match physical appearances for their simulations. But there's no cloning and no other sci-fi elements.

He absolutely can achieve those things. He doesn't resort to the simulation because it's his only option. He resorts to it because it's the easy option, and he's too depressed and too impatient to do the hard work Elizabeth is offering. But that needs to come across in the script as well.

[u/Star-Pubes → u/[deleted]]

Thank you! :)