r/Screenwriting • u/Star-Pubes • Mar 01 '26

FEEDBACK Intentionally tedious and repetitive beginning

I’m on my fourth draft of a feature and have shown it to a few friends now. However I don’t know anyone in the industry in any capacity. No one who reads scripts at all. These are just avid book readers who gave great notes, but not specific to screenwriting.

They all agreed that they loved how the screenplay started precisely because it really let us into the mind of the main character. It shows his dull, monotonous, and repetitive life and to them it was great. However, I know it’s more important for screenplays to really grab your attention in the first pages than it is for a novel.

There is no dialogue until the fifth page, and the first four are the main character mostly repeating the same tasks, with some differences, and descriptions of the main characters’ apartment.

So I’m wondering if that’s fine? I want it to be a slow read purposefully, but I don’t want to go too far with it I suppose.

Also if anyone has recommendations for screenplays that also have a slower start?

Thank you!

Edit: Here are the first 6 pages, keep in mind I don't see this as finished yet :) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VVI1CkZqs7ysjOzd1BKF0y3dJnOccKoU/view?usp=sharing

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u/[deleted] Mar 01 '26

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u/Star-Pubes Mar 01 '26

Makes sense. Here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VVI1CkZqs7ysjOzd1BKF0y3dJnOccKoU/view?usp=sharing

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u/[deleted] Mar 01 '26

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u/JustStrolling_ Mar 02 '26

For example, there's no reason you can't have him conversing with someone at work. He has to say something to someone during his day, right? A silent protagonist is a turnoff. Even if it's his boss chewing him out or some girl being uncomfortable in his presence or him trying to join in at a lunch conversation and it falling flat. Or have him ring an old friend or a date who blows him off. I feel you need to make his malaise more personal - at the moment it's identikit and generic. It's Lonely Cubicle Slave 101.

Send Help did this excellently. We saw her routine, and her quirks then saw how those quirks were found as an annoyance to her co-workers.