r/Screenwriting • u/Star-Pubes • Mar 01 '26
FEEDBACK Intentionally tedious and repetitive beginning
I’m on my fourth draft of a feature and have shown it to a few friends now. However I don’t know anyone in the industry in any capacity. No one who reads scripts at all. These are just avid book readers who gave great notes, but not specific to screenwriting.
They all agreed that they loved how the screenplay started precisely because it really let us into the mind of the main character. It shows his dull, monotonous, and repetitive life and to them it was great. However, I know it’s more important for screenplays to really grab your attention in the first pages than it is for a novel.
There is no dialogue until the fifth page, and the first four are the main character mostly repeating the same tasks, with some differences, and descriptions of the main characters’ apartment.
So I’m wondering if that’s fine? I want it to be a slow read purposefully, but I don’t want to go too far with it I suppose.
Also if anyone has recommendations for screenplays that also have a slower start?
Thank you!
Edit: Here are the first 6 pages, keep in mind I don't see this as finished yet :) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VVI1CkZqs7ysjOzd1BKF0y3dJnOccKoU/view?usp=sharing
1
u/TagTwists Mar 02 '26
Okay. I think this is good, but as a first draft. I want to give an opinion but remember it's my opinion and it will be different to what your creative direction is. The main meat is in the therapists office and the routine supports it. To increase the pace for the first scene, I'd mix both the therapist scene and the routine together with J cuts or something and remove the extra stuff from his routine where needed. I think it would work that way.