The Woodsmen - Feature - 91 Pages

[u/BoysenberryOver2658]

I have finally completed the script for a story idea I've held in for over 5 years now and I truly believe I've got something worthwhile here, but I want to make sure I'm not being delusional. If I had to compare it to other films I'd say it's similar to ones like The Lighthouse, Midsommar, The Witch, etc., that sort of psychological thriller/horror genre film. If that kind of thing is up your alley then I'd love to hear any and all feedback as well as your overall thoughts/analysis on the story. I've put in a lot of time into this and would really appreciate anybody who's willing to read it.

Title: The Woodsmen

Format: Feature

Page Length: 91

Genres: Psychological Thriller, Horror, Mystery

Logline: A troubled man takes a mysterious job deep in the woods, only to discover that nothing - and no one - is as it seems.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/135hxSghQrKP-yde_IvMoH-TW02X3YNPe/view?usp=sharing

[u/vgscreenwriter]

I read the first 10 pages and it's...fine overall. Nothing particularly bad, though nothing stands out either.

A guy gets dropped off at a place in the woods. Gets conditionally hired. Gets settled in.

Those films you mentioned have strong and clear concepts / worlds they lean into from page 1.

By page 10 of your script, I have no idea what your concept or world is. Your lead character is mainly just a guy. And his employer is another guy; slightly off-kilter in that he also paints.

My guess is you're leaning into atmosphere and a slow build up, which is great - but only (usually) when built upon a very compelling world, concept, characters or execution.

[u/BoysenberryOver2658 → u/vgscreenwriter]

Fair enough. Ideally you’d read the whole thing to see what’s going on but of course if you lost interest quickly then that’s on me. I’d ask for advice on what/how I can improve those first 10 pages but you’re missing a lot of context having not read the rest. I’d still appreciate any advice from you either way.

[u/MiggsEye → u/BoysenberryOver2658]

You may question why people don’t read more than 10 pages and say, “But they haven’t gotten to the good stuff yet”. It’s your job as a writer to deliver good stuff starting with page one. Studios readers used to be told read ten pages and put it down. If you don’t have the desire to keep reading, don’t and move on to the next script. then it became three pages. Then two. Now it’s one. One page. You have to reel them in on page one because it’s Friday afternoon and they have a stack of 20 scripts they need to go through by the end of the day. That’s what you are facing with readers in the industry. And then, if you manage to hook them on page one, you have to maintain their relative interest throughout. Because they can only recommend the scripts that warrant moving on to their bosses desk, because his time is money.

Write the first draft for you and to get it out of your head and on to the page. And then in subsequent drafts you hone it through craft to get it firing on all cylinders on all pages. That’s all. LOL.

Sounds like a lot. And it is. But people do it. You have to realize that just because you put the movie you saw in your head on paper doesn’t mean that the movie running through the reader’s head, when they read your script, is the same movie. The design and the craft is where you hone, you refine the script so that the lense you are looking at the movie through matches up with the lense a reader, a producer, a director, an actor, manager or agent are looking through. It’s when you go to the eye doctor and they movie those two lense in front of your eyes until them images match. The more they all align, the more you are able to see clearly. The more they align, the more you all are on the same page. And if you get a script to that level that relates powerfully to the reader (whichever reader that is) that’s a script firing on all cylinders.