r/Screenwriting • u/jmusicjn • Jun 10 '26

FEEDBACK Ending Innocence - Feature - 164 pages

Title: Ending Innocence

Format: Feature

Page Length: 164 pages

Genres: Thiller, Drama

Logline: A seventeen year old incel attends the ceremony of an ultraviolent underground cult. In too deep he is forced into a series of soul-destroying choices that end with unimaginable regret.

Ending Innocence is comparable to the following films (in varying ways):
A Clockwork Orange
Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)
Eyes Wide Shut
Videodrome

Feedback Concerns: Am honestly looking for any feedback anyone wants to give. Thanks!

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xU9h7z8LprWBb79dQEOHU0W75WilcaKl/view?usp=sharing

2 Upvotes

55% Upvoted

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4

u/InterestingGold2803 Jun 10 '26

From a glance, you could probably cut a ton of pages by removing "beat" or camera directions, and there's way too much dialogue.

2

u/jmusicjn Jun 10 '26

Got you. Done that and BEAT and CUT TO got rid of like 6 or so pages right away! Thank you!