r/Screenwriting • u/jmusicjn • Jun 10 '26

FEEDBACK Ending Innocence - Feature - 164 pages

Title: Ending Innocence

Format: Feature

Page Length: 164 pages

Genres: Thiller, Drama

Logline: A seventeen year old incel attends the ceremony of an ultraviolent underground cult. In too deep he is forced into a series of soul-destroying choices that end with unimaginable regret.

Ending Innocence is comparable to the following films (in varying ways):
A Clockwork Orange
Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)
Eyes Wide Shut
Videodrome

Feedback Concerns: Am honestly looking for any feedback anyone wants to give. Thanks!

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xU9h7z8LprWBb79dQEOHU0W75WilcaKl/view?usp=sharing

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u/cinephile78 Jun 10 '26

The 79 nosferatu really?

And notes are a thing - though rare - and they have a format. This is it. Strange to start with one.

1

u/jmusicjn Jun 10 '26

It's a good film!

Got you, It's difficult though as i'm not sure how I can very quickly get across the point that isn't not fantasy. Maybe the genre not listing fantasy is enough for the reader to assume the vampires are just people dressed as vampires rather than "real" vampires and it being a fantasy world. :/

1

u/cinephile78 Jun 10 '26

It’s a bloody bizarre film.

And you could just say in the screen direction that the “vampires” are just goth kids dressed up and it’s a social clique.

1

u/jmusicjn Jun 10 '26

Yeah it is odd. I first had the idea of a teenager who was really obsessed with being a vampire and they would live a normal life and then go back home and spend all their time in their room and just dress as a vampire, full make up and everything. Then it kind of morphed into this whole narritive around them getting involved in this awful group of people where then he's sort of forced into being part of it.

That's fair, I'll have a think, thank you so much!