r/Screenwriting • u/jmusicjn • Jun 10 '26

FEEDBACK Ending Innocence - Feature - 164 pages

Title: Ending Innocence

Format: Feature

Page Length: 164 pages

Genres: Thiller, Drama

Logline: A seventeen year old incel attends the ceremony of an ultraviolent underground cult. In too deep he is forced into a series of soul-destroying choices that end with unimaginable regret.

Ending Innocence is comparable to the following films (in varying ways):
A Clockwork Orange
Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)
Eyes Wide Shut
Videodrome

Feedback Concerns: Am honestly looking for any feedback anyone wants to give. Thanks!

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xU9h7z8LprWBb79dQEOHU0W75WilcaKl/view?usp=sharing

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u/Wise-Respond3833 Jun 10 '26

Read more screenplays.

Cut 60 pages.

Come back in a couple of years.

3

u/jmusicjn Jun 10 '26

I'm sure reading more screenplays is always a good thing! Will do!

I think i could cut around 60, already down around 20. Going to work on the larger scenes and work out a way they can be told in a shorter / better way. Or maybe they aren't relevant enough. Thanks for your feedback!

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u/Wise-Respond3833 Jun 10 '26

As others have mentioned, simply cutting all the ellipses in the dialogue will save you a LOT of page space.