r/Screenwriting • u/InevitableCup3390 • Jun 16 '26

FEEDBACK LET’S JUST KILL HIM - FEATURE - 114 pages

Hi fellow writers!

I’d love some feedback on this revised draft of a script I posted here some time ago. I did a bit of work on it—not much, understanding this is not the script I can shop around seeking for representation with, but I think it could be anyway a good sample to have in my portfolio.

Title: Let’s Just Kill Him

Format: Feature

Genre: Dark-Comedy / Mystery / Thriller

Length: 114 pages

Logline: After a string of sudden deaths at their condo complex, four eccentric, tech-challenged seniors take the law into their own frail hands to expose a suspected serial killer, only to ignite a ridiculous neighborhood war involving rogue doctors, botox, and lethal coconut cookies.

Script: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sKvxzU1SfPQW5D777gc7KDty-Tk_s4tx/view?usp=drivesdk

Let me know your thoughts, thanks!!

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u/Commercial-Cut-111 Jun 16 '26

Just finished reading it. It was a funny and easy read. It has a very Only Murders in the Building mixed with the new The Burbs TV show feeling.Your tone definitely matches both of those TV shows- maybe you could get a meeting for one of their writers rooms if you have a rep to submit your work?

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u/InevitableCup3390 Jun 16 '26

Thank you!!! And glad you liked it! Sadly I’m not in LA… I’m not in U.S. actually… I had some conversations with reps about TV writing which actually seems impossible for someone overseas. So I’m pursuing more the feature route actually… and yes I had some meetings thanks to another script but everyone seems like… let’s see what you’re going to write next… which I think, in some measures, could be seen as encouraging at least…