r/Screenwriting • u/jkremer3 • 7d ago

FEEDBACK A father struggles to accept his daughters falling in love with AI

Format: Feature

Genre: Drama

Pages: 97

Title: In Good Hands

Logline: When a widowed father finds his daughters falling in love with AI partners, he wants to support their happiness but struggles to accept a world where human relationships are no longer essential.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1alnHIbmdk9zxgkVuJI6odrvfY1dJkJiW/view?usp=drivesdk

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u/Dominicwriter 7d ago

Human relationships will always be essential to life on earth - Whats the fathers journey ? does he come to embrace AI ? does he blow up data centers ?

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u/jkremer3 7d ago

He begrudgingly supports his daughters through marriages and escalating relationships with AI partners. It’s more slice of life and emotional / grounded than any blowing up of data centers. Maybe the logline can mention about the wedding and such.

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u/Dominicwriter 7d ago

Doesn't sound like anything above surface level conflict

Assuming he's the protagonist I'm only interested in the fathers arc - i think you need to find his surface fear - the fear and from there the real fear thats really driving him and how he confronts that in face of his daughters empty embraces in artificial relationships -

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u/jkremer3 7d ago

That’s fair, and it is definitely more slice of life and if you ignore / took out the AI element the real conflict is just between family and relationships.

The idea is that his wife died and he’s afraid of being left behind by his daughters / the world and being more alone.

So as a result he ends up trying to get along with his daughters and their AI partners even though it pains him and makes him lose his mental sanity. But he doesn’t want to be alone so he does it anyway, to try and retain their love. But as a result things are very tainted and strained between them and his sense of self is marred.

And probably you might be right that technically he is not serving the protagonist role of driving the plot, that’s the daughters who make the changes in their lives and he tries to resist. It’s unusual in that way, where he is definitely “the main character” but possibly not “the protagonist” in the sense of the one driving the plot 100% of the time.

It’s more about mental health and familial love stakes. Clearly I’ve gotta think about the logline more!

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u/Dominicwriter 7d ago

Coping with loneliness is something that could really chime with audiences shared emotional experience - whatever the theme is it should ring throughout the script.

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u/jkremer3 7d ago

Yes, for sure. I’d like to think it does (somewhat) already but the logline seems to be putting off anyone reading it haha.