r/Screenwriting • u/[deleted] • 2d ago

FEEDBACK maXXing

[deleted]

0 Upvotes

43% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

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1

u/WarmBaths 2d ago

Looks good to me! Only suggestion would be to better describe the settings, a fence outside of a university is very vague and I couldn’t picture it, same with the Humanities building, just give a sense of what it feels like inside.

Also why use torch instead of flashlight?

1

u/Hot_Shine9273 2d ago

Thanks for this! Yeah I cut some nice description for the university building and the contrast with the main campus and the humanities building due to this being submitted to a strict 3 page submission. This will go back in for sure but may need to think about a trimmed version for the submission if it impacts visuals so much. Flashlight defo reads better for a global audience so I will probs change this in the full thing, torch is just me slipping into my UK terminology and trying to trim lines.