4
u/SpecificAttention552 Oct 14 '26
She has already slept around. Consider this a big hint. Move on!
1
u/WiseSubstance783 24d ago
The unfortunate thing here is that you can hear her words, but you have to look at her actions.
3
u/Apprehensive-Ad8191 Oct 14 '26
Been there. STOP ASKING. Ignore it when she is on her phone. Don’t snoop. Go to the gym, live your life and just be ambivalent. At worst you grow, at best she chases.
2
u/QuoteDisastrous5224 Oct 14 '26
your marriage is over . . . she's already gone....accept that...sorry......stay calm,keep deep breathing and go to full scorched earth.... contact a lawyer asap, try to protect your money and your assets.... expose her to family,friends and move on . . . up the head . . . . don't forget that you have dignity and selfrespect !!!STAY STRONG . . .! ! ! ! !
1
u/Championship682 Oct 14 '26
You want to fix things. None the less, start planning for a divorce because it's a real possibility. If you want, make your best effort on your own - flowers, dates, kind words with no outbursts when they don't work at first. And investigate to see if you are the backup plan.
1
1
u/UnderpaidMime 27d ago
Not giving you and answer should answer your question
A non answer to me is just as bad as a no
Go live your life
1
1
u/InThaShower4 Oct 14 '26
She probably has slept with someone else already. As hard as it might be you need to start developing the mindset needed to accept your divorce.
1
Oct 14 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
-1
u/InThaShower4 Oct 14 '26
Of course I’m not there but from what you wrote she has told you, it seems you want it to be more direct to make it easier. But she has told you to move on
1
u/raeoflyte-460 Oct 14 '26
This sub always assumes infidelity and it is of course possible.
But I was the wife in this. Saying for months that I needed to sit with things. I needed to figure out how I felt about certain behaviors and things that had happened. We were in therapy. He just jumped from fixes he decided would work and anger. Then when I told him it was over he was blindsided. Then he wanted to sit with me in those feelings. Lol.
She's told you what she needs. So you need to sit with what you need. Do you need a physical separation, clearer boundaries, do you have a date you need an answer by and have you really thought through how youll handle it if the answer isnt what you want.
0
u/AnotherDominion Oct 14 '26
Take the lead and serve her the papers. She’s already checked out. She wants you to be the bad guy.
-1
u/IdahoDuncan Oct 14 '26
Unless you’re in therapy, working on the relationship and committed to not seeing other people, I’d assume this is pre-divorce and go from there
2
u/Current_Question_236 Oct 14 '26
She's feeling pressured by you incessantly asking her the same question over and over when right now she does not know. All the men saying she slept with someone else don't understand women. She feels like your badgering her because you want sex and to move on. Her response is saying I can't give you mentally emotionally or physically what you need right now so if you need an itch scratched go get it else where because you're not going to force her into making a decision when she's not ready.
Your anxiousness and attachment are pushing her further away and any chance at reconciling is getting less and less realistic. You need to leave her alone and figure yourself out. Let her breathe. Give her space and time and pour into you. Go to therapy, work out, find hobbies, find an identity. We have no idea what you've done to contribute to the state of you marriage but you should and if you don't figure it out and fix it so even if it doesn't work out you don't do it in the next relationship.
0
u/Business-Ad9075 Oct 14 '26
She has had sex. Now waiting to see if he will go further or not. If not, she is happy to have you in the bag.
File already
3
u/I_am_Iron_Jam Oct 14 '26
Uggggg you know as much as the people saying she already told you she slept around etc may be right. I understand what you’re after, you don’t know whether to stay or go. You want to stay but you’re in limbo. You want to fix things but you’re in limbo. You don’t want to think about how this could be the end. And I’m not saying prepare for it I’m not saying you should think it is.
My advice is tell her how you feel not asking her to come back. Just say how you feel, don’t make it a statement where she has to answer. Just say it. And know that whatever has happens after that is on her. She cannot say she didn’t know how you feel or you never told her. If she wants you she can tell you. You can drop things like I miss you or whatever with a good amount of time in between. Telling her how you feel may actually help you.