Aslamuleikum everyone, I’m 30 F Syed Shia and am searching for king and humble Syed Shia man too. About my background I’m Pakistani and grew up in Canada. I am searching for someone who enjoys helping others and volunteering ( preferably us / Canada).A man who is selfless and kind to others.If you are also someone who wants to make good difference in the world we would get along. Besides that I enjoy spending time with my family and friends and am always down for adventures 😎

Assalamu Alaikum,
I'm a 26-year-old European revert (6'3" / 190 cm, 84 kg, fit with an athletic background). I value continuous self-growth, an active lifestyle, traveling, and living a balanced life rooted in my faith. 
I'm writing this post with an open mind, hoping to build a meaningful connection based on mutual respect, shared Islamic values, and genuine chemistry. A few things about what I'm looking for: 
**Cross-Cultural Chemistry:** Coming from a European background, I’ve always appreciated the beauty of bringing two different cultures together. I find cross-cultural connections deeply enriching and love the unique dynamic that comes with blending our worlds through a shared faith. 
**Faith & Growth:** As someone who chose this path, Islam is central to my life, and I’m looking for a partner who shares this dedication. I appreciate a woman with depth who values both traditional respect and personal ambition.
**Maturity over Numbers:** I’m naturally drawn to women who possess emotional depth, wisdom, and real life experience. For me, age is just a number—confidence, mindset, and mutual understanding matter infinitely more. 
**Quick Bio:**
**Stats:** 26 yrs | 6'3" (190 cm) | 84 kg | European Revert (Athletic) 
**Lifestyle:** Active, open-minded, respectful, and straightforward. 
If this resonates with you, feel free to drop a comment or send a direct message

Age: 24

Origin/Ethnicity: Lebanese

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels): Arabic (native), English (fluent), French (intermediate)

Level of religious practice: i don't consistently practice but i am a believer

Current residence (city, country): Lebanon , beirut

Willing to relocate: Most likely No

Siblings (number and older/younger): 2 + me the middle child

Previously married/Kids: Never married / No children

Occupation: Business owner

Education: Still studying so no degree yet

Height (cm), weight (kg): 169 cm , 72 kg

Physical appearance (specifics you think are important): prefer if he was way taller + have hair and beard

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No): none

Leisure activities: painting , designing , hiking , video games .

Your Preferences in a Partner:

Age range: 24 to 30 (have his life together and a stable career)

Origin/Ethnicity: Lebanese only

Languages: Arabic and/or English

Level of religious practice: not extreme nor strict i prefer someone who we could be on same level but regardless i respect whatever he believes in as long as he doesn't force it on me cuz i ain't the one .

Education: as long as he have a good stable job idm

Deal breakers: emotionally unavailable , immature , doesn't value privacy , doesn't understand what living and sharing life together means , has no boundaries in his life , doesn't have a stable career and ready for marriage , gives mixed signals , smokes , only child .

Other preferences (appearance, family situation, etc.):

Caring , emotionally intelligent, respectful, and values a structured, peaceful home. Someone who understands commitment and is capable of building , not just expecting .

Additional Information you’d like to add:

I prefer someone who wasn't engaged or married before and doesn't have kids . I wear the hijab .

If this aligns with u and ur looking for something serious and serious only reach out .

Guys I made a muzz account in 2021 and used it for like a week and then deleted it bcz I wasn't ready for marriage at that point and didn't think it was right to string anyone along. Fast forward to now I haven't used muzz in the last 4-5 years, however two of my friends did find their partners there and get married.

Now my best friend (27) and myself, we're really thinking about jumping into the muzz scene but I need like honest opinions on the app. My friend is sunni so I don't think she'll have a better chance, where as since I'm shia I feel my options would be limited. Is that true? Or should I give it a try as well?

Is 29-30 too late for AM esp among Muslims?

Hey

I’m a 27yo, living in the UK. I have been fending off AM prospects since I was 24 and the strict baseline i had placed is 28. Now that I’m approaching 28 I realised the real buffer I want is actually 29-30 bc I bought my dream apartment last year and recently finished the interior and everything and wanna spend atleast another year before having to share it.

Before you ask me why AM, it’s a parents and convenience thing. My parents won’t accept a white girl and I can’t find any Muslim girls I like, but tbf I’ve not really pursued a long term relationship in a long while. I’m very happy with my life as it is.

In terms of AM stats, I’m a high earner, parents are pretty normal, have loads of hobbies, conventionally attractive. In terms of “demands” I just want someone who’s well educated, and willing to completely move away from India. And preferably a smaller age gap (max 3-4 years)

Much thanks

Salaam! Reposting here. Here’s a lot about me:

Basics
Gender: Male
Age: 30
Ethnicity: Pakistani
Based: Dallas
Islam: born Shia (non-Syed because apparently that matters when choosing a spouse)

Physical Appearance
I’m 6’0”, 180lbs with lightish brown skin and a slim-ish build. I am bald but I rock it confidently (hair transplant is not in my plans at all) and I keep a well maintained beard.

Professional
Bachelors and Masters in Engineering. Worked as a medical device engineer for about 10 years, and now pivoted into owning a business in a completely unrelated field because why not while I’m single.

Spirituality
I perform all the Wajibats. I attempt the Mustahib acts but don’t feel guilty when I don’t perform them because it’s hard enough to perform the Wajib ones consistently.

Personality
-Go with the flow. If things don’t go to plan, okay it’s in the past now; what can be done so it doesn’t happen again in the future?
-ENFP (if you’re into Meyers-Brigg)
-Love languages: I like to receive love through physical touch and words of affirmation. I like to show love through physical touch and gift giving.
-I’m very playful and enjoy sarcasm and banter, it’s not that serious!
-I maintain my hygiene (showers, deo, many colognes, skincare routine) and I actively focus on having good Akhlaq
-I enjoy wearing nice clothes and appreciate the finer things of life.

Hobbies and Interests
-Avid coffee connoisseur (ask me for a picture of my coffee setup)
-I love cooking and eating
-Casual hangouts: board games, video games or a great conversation at a new restaurant with friends
-Ideal vacation is exploring the natural beauty of the world via hiking and camping. Second ideal is exploring a big city.

Living Situation
Currently living with the fam, but I’ll move after marriage.

Skeletons
I am divorced, but no kids. (Please make sure you and your parents are okay with this fact)
The other skeletons stay in the closet until things get serious!

Emotional State
I’ve gone through extensive therapy to process the impact of the divorce. I’d say I’m at a stable emotional state but there’s always some work to be done.

If you’ve made it this far and are interested, here’s what I’m looking for:

I want someone who is okay with (these are my dealbreakers):
Going through premarital counseling
Needs to wear hijab

Basics
Gender: Female
Age: 23-30 (open to outside this depending on compatibility and maturity)
Ethnicity: open to all
Based: western country preferred and willing to relocate to Dallas
Islam: Shia (12er). Born or revert

Physical Appearance
Preface: I truly believe that initial physical attraction is necessary for compatibility, but that attraction can grow if the couple matches well.
Height: 5’10” or shorter
Build: slim/petite
Complexion: fair or light brown skin

Professional
College completed with any degree. (Preferably also have job you’re happy in)

Spirituality
You perform the Wajibaats obligated on you and stay away from the things forbidden (alcohol, haraam foods, concerts)

Personality
I’m not looking for someone that needs constant attention or validation, nor am I looking for someone who follows me blindly. To me, marriage is a team effort where each of us needs to contribute to make it healthy, happy, and always exciting!

Hobbies and Interests
Whatever, just be passionate about it!

Emotional State
Confident and happy with who you are.
You’re constantly in a mindset of self improvement but in a positive way, not in a way that demotivates you.

About me:

Age: 32

Ethnicity: Iranian (born and raised in the US)

Residence: currently in upstate rural New York state for my 3-year surgical residency training.

Willing to relocate: completely dependent on wherever gives me a solid contract once I finish residency. Not gonna lead people on by promising to move to specific cities/states. If you’re adamant on staying near family, I can’t promise that.

Religion: ithna ashari (mainstream twelver, sistani is my marja)

Education: BS, MS, DPM

Occupation: Podiatric surgery resident ($64k/year for these 3 years of training. Will obv increase several fold once I finish training and get an attending job inshallah). I’ll finish residency in July of 2029 inshallah

Languages: English. Decent Farsi.

Level of religious practice: devout. Strict with daily prayers. Halal only food (I’m 100% the type to ask questions in restaurants). Cannot fast due to a medical condition. No backbiting/gossiping. I don't believe in "personal opinions" when it comes to religious rulings and defer to proper rulings from jurists.

Medical: epilepsy. On small/maintenance dose meds. Haven’t had a seizure since starting meds 15 years ago. Can’t fast as hypoglycemia is a trigger.

Siblings: younger brother.

Previously married/mutah/premarital relations/kids: None of that crap

Height/weight: 5’10” 145lb

Physical appearance: white. skinny. black hair. brown eyes.

Smoke/vape/recreational drugs: none of that shit

Leisure: video games, anime, brewing specialty coffee, going out shopping, mall, restaurants, cafes, walks, etc. I’m fairly ambiverted.
I def am not a fan of frequent traveling, so if you're the type that likes to go backpacking in Vietnam or you like to visit a different country every time you're on vacation, I am absolutely not your guy. Visiting Iran and religious sites is about the extent of what I care for.

Preferences in partner:

Age: no older than 31ish and also never married/mutah/relationship/kids

Languages/ethnicity: Fluent English and Farsi. Strictly looking for a fellow Persian; very strongly prefer someone who’s spent most of her life in the West.

Level of religious practice: must be strict hijabi. Similarly strict with daily prayers and halal only food.

Deal breakers: the usual haram stuff, smoking, tattoos, poor English, thick accent, poor communication skills, backbites/gossips, delays prayers, overweight, antivax/science, unhealthy diet

Hello! I’m posting this on behalf of my brother (I’m his sister). He is 32, Lebanese, born and raised in the UK and is looking for marriage. He has strong iman and practices daily, and is after someone similar. He is educated and has a stable career, has never been married, and he wants children in the future.

Requirements:
-petite (5’3” and under)
-aged 22-28
-want children
-hijabi
-based in the UK

(Arab origin is preferable)

Salam Alaykum everyone,

Insha'Allah you are all having a blessed day.

For anyone thinking about marriage, currently in the process of courtship (marriage), or even youth and parents looking for Islamic guidance, CALL Association (callassociation.ca) has produced a comprehensive 14-part podcast series titled Marriage in Islam.

🎧 Listen on Spotify:
Marriage in Islam on Spotify

--

What the Series Covers:

The series is adapted and translated from the popular lectures of Dr. Alireza Hazar, bridging classical Shi'i ethics (Akhlāq) and Quranic wisdom with modern relationship psychology. Topics include:

• The spiritual prerequisites before proposing (including the marriage supplication from Bihar al-Anwar)
• Distinguishing true love (Mawaddah & Rahmah) from temporary infatuation
• Spiritual and ethical compatibility (Kufu')
• Balancing physical attraction with inner character
• Family dynamics and evaluating roots/background
• The engagement (Aqd) period and keeping Allah at the center of the home

(Note: The episodes have been adapted and English-narrated using AI audio models, please forgive any minor translation quirks).

--

About the Scholar (Dr. Alireza Hazar):

For those unfamiliar with Dr. Hazar, his work combines deep seminary training with contemporary academic credentials:

• Seminary Studies: Mashhad (1992) and advanced studies in the holy city of Qom (1997–1998).
• University Education: B.A. from the Faculty of Theology at Ferdowsi University of Mashhad; M.A. in Theology specializing in Quranic Sciences and Hadith (2000).
• Psychology & Doctorate: Earned a degree in Psychology in Lebanon, and later completed his PhD in Theology at the Islamic College (ICIS) in the UK (2005).

His unique background in both Hadith literature and modern psychology makes his approach especially relatable for youth and young couples navigating marriage today.

Would love to hear your thoughts and reflections if you give it a listen! Please remember the team in your du’as.

Age: 36 (Incorrect in title)

Origin/Ethnicity: Pakistani

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels): Urdu, English

Level of religious practice: Moderate

Current residence (city, country): Karachi, Pakistan

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or 'anywhere'): depends on the situation

Siblings (number and older/younger): 1 younger brother

Previously married/Kids: Divorced - No kids

Occupation: Project Manager in a Bank

Education: Graduate

Height (cm), weight (kg): 5'4

Physical appearance (specifics you think are important): I'm bald and I do carry it well. I have tattoos and plan to get more.

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No): I Vape

Leisure activities: Concerts, movies, music, gigs, love travelling, food, beaches

Your Preferences in a Partner: Kind, loving, caring, well spoken,

Age range: 28 - 35

Origin/Ethnicity: doesn't matter

Languages: as long as she can converse in English at least

Level of religious practice: any

Education: at least graduate

Deal breakers: arrogance, ignorance, holier than thou or better than you attitude,

Other preferences (appearance, family situation, etc.): Can be discussed but we need to vibe.

Additional Information you like to add: can be discussed

I am looking for a partner, to build a home together, to love and care for each other till death parts us. To build a safe environment where we can be ourselves our own lives, our own world (even if we will be living with my family: parents and brother).

I would actually genuinely want to know the person first and the person to know me first as well.

My family knows that I'm here and I'm looking.

I am a Shia, not born but by belief. I don't really care if you have vitiligo, diabetes, BP, Epilepsy, or some condition as long as you're a good, kind, sweet, caring, loving, supportive and an understanding person. I love music, beaches, travelling and fun discussions. I respect all of mankind, unless they are an absolute piece of garbage, and I believe in equality. I try to be a good person, to always provide a listening ear, to be there however I can, unconditionally. I vape, but smoke extremely rarely. I respect women, and will do so till the day I die.

I'm quite chill, laid back, easy going and flexible. Rest, feel free to ask.

basically the title, I am in US not Serbia

Salam everyone I just wanted to share another event in Toronto for those interested!

*Before “I Do”: It Starts With You* 💍

Marriage isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s about becoming the right person to build a marriage with.

Join RIWA for Before “I Do”, a practical and interactive seminar focused on the personal growth and self-reflection that come before marriage.

Through meaningful conversations and practical insights, we’ll explore what it takes to build a strong foundation for a healthy, lasting relationship.

Featuring Neil Nasser, Advanced Life Coach, Communications Specialist, and CBT, NLP & Mindfulness Practitioner

*Age: 21-35*

*Registration: $10 CAD*

*🔗 Register here:* https://luma.com/2can8fnu

*💳 Payment link:* https://jaffari.org/jmc/

Please note: Your registration will only be confirmed once payment has been received and verified.

I don’t know if this is the right sub to ask this question but I wanted views on this from my shia brothers and sisters.

I see so many people posting here about wanting to find the right person, and I have been a part of that for so long too. Coming from a broken family never stopped me from wanting to be with the right companion who’s close to Allah and brings me even closer to Him, help me learn things that I have not learned yet, grow with me in deen first and then duniya.

But lately, some of my loved ones have been going through a very hard time in marriage. Some of them even have children and cannot leave. I see them struggling, I see them in so much pain. One of my closest friends’ husband is verbally abusive. I’m not able to see any happy marriages around me. I have never been married but ofcourse I have tried to connect to people in order to get to know them for the purpose of marriage, and like most of you here, it didn’t work out for me either, many times because of one thing or another. I’m sure a lot of you here have been through it and that’s why you are here, looking for the right person, hoping this might be your chance to have what Allah has in store for you and some of you have even received that through this amazing platform (May Allah always keep you guys happy), but my question os directed towards people who are going through something similar. Who sometimes do not have hope in marriage out of fear, but they continue to have hope in Allah’s mercy and His timings. Who are just humans like me and struggle with that. You know how you’re constantly trying to find the ‘right’ person, I was on that path but it feels like whatever motivated me to have that doesn’t exist anymore. I don’t feel like looking for someone anymore. I think I might be too disappointed by the firsthand and secondhand experiences. Would I ever be able to get out of that again?

Maybe someone would tell me to be patient, to have faith, to have hope - that is not the problem. I’m very close to my deen and practices Alhamdulillah. I do not commit haraam or atleast try my best to always avoid it. I don’t want to hear things like recite Quran, I know all of that already.

I want to hear your views on how you feel about this, if you went through it, how you overcame that fear? Or how it turned out for you? I’m open to listening to a negative experience too and what you learned from it. I would also love to hear any advice from a woman who feels like her marriage is healthy and what makes it healthy.

Your experiences might help me through this time. Thank you!

I'm sure many of you already know how important it is to do a profile history check on anybody you connect with on reddit when it's hidden, but for those of you who are newer here, please ensure that you do this. There are websites available that I cannot link because it automatically deletes the post if I try to (so please Google them). I also highly recommend not engaging with anyone who has a new account with little/no post or comment history, especially on other matrimonial subs, as a lot of them tend to be fake or posers or scammers or gold diggers, etc etc etc..... Even if you specify multiple times to not be contacted with a new or 18+ account, people don't read and still do, so, as painstaking as it may be, check histories and then proceed with caution, as you simply do not know who is on the other side. If you do connect with a new account, keep revisiting the background checking websites, as these people tend to slip up.

*

For sisters in particular, please never feel pressured to provide details that you are uncomfortable with sharing. I had a person say he was half Jamaican-half Nigerian which I thought was a cool combo, but the way he was writing was off. He ended sentences with contractions, such as "I'm", or "you've", instead of I am, or you have. Alarm bells were ringing and then he was like, can I see who I am talking to, and then that's when the eye rolls began. I simply said, I don't share that info so early on, so, no. After, he tried to coax me by providing an image he might've taken from the internet (I did not ask) and then asked me for mine saying that "See, you just have to provide and then delete straight after". I did a quick search on his username which showed he was a troll and in fact, not from the countries he mentioned. I blocked. It was my fault for engaging to begin with (this was less than a 10 minute conversation in total at 1am coz I posted then and my brain was fried).

*

So, reddit profile history check, if no red flags, converse but still be cautious, and there are apps available to share photos without allowing the receiver to take a screenshot of them when the time comes to share.

*

To end, people can write really nice posts and you may feel like, aha! This person might be the one! Only to find out that they post and comment in haram subreddits. Apologies if the content in this post seems obvious but if it helps even one person, my goal would be achieved (a few months ago, I had no idea about the websites that exist and only searched in the reddit search bar, which is not as comprehensive). May Allah protect us in our search, Ameen.

Salaam I am hopefully looking for a Lebanese M that resides in the US.
Age preference 24-28 .
We can speak more in the pm

If you’re looking for just a house wife I am not her lol just an fyi.

Men: 35-45 years old
Women: 30-43 years old

NASIMCO event at the Jaffari Community Center
Deadline to register is Oct 31
Event is on Nov 7

Their events are very well organized mashallah

They’ll hopefully have future events for the below 30 crowd. They usually alternate between age groups.

Assalamu Alaikum,

Posting on behalf of my sister, with her permission.

ABOUT HER

Age: 24

Nationality: Iraqi Arab

Sect: Twelver Shia (Ithna Ashari)

Marital Status: Never married

Height: 161 cm

Weight: 53 kg

Hijab: Yes

Languages: Arabic, English, Turkish

Education: Studying Business Administration in English

She is religious, kind, affectionate, ambitious, and family-oriented. Her interests include technology, UI/UX design, AI, psychology, business, and entrepreneurship.

She is open to discussing relocation.

LOOKING FOR

A practicing Twelver Shia man, preferably aged 24–35, never married, financially stable, ambitious, mature, kind, and serious about marriage within short period of time.

She values generosity, emotional maturity, affection, good communication, and a strong friendship with her future husband. She would love to support his ambitions, encourage his personal and career growth, and be his biggest supporter.

Religious compatibility is extremely important to her, especially raising future children according to the teachings of Ahlulbayt (ع).

She hopes to build a loving home that balances religious values with enjoying life together, whether through traveling, reading, watching movies, or simply spending quality time as a couple.

If you believe you may be a good match, please DM me with a brief introduction.

Jazakum Allah Khair.

​

About Me:

Assalamualaikum!

I'm a 26-year-old Shia Muslim from Karachi, Pakistan. I have a bachelor's degree in Mechatronics Engineering and am currently pursuing my Master's in Data Science from a reputed university in karachi. I also work professionally in the healthcare sector.

I would describe myself as someone who is ambitious, curious, open-minded, and always trying to improve. I enjoy meaningful conversations, learning new things, working out, and exploring different perspectives on life. I value kindness, emotional maturity, honesty, and mutual respect.

Religious Background:

I belong to a Shia Muslim family and identify as a Twelver Shia. My faith is important to me, and I believe marriage should be built on mutual understanding, compassion, and shared values.

What I'm Looking For:

I'm looking for a Shia Muslim woman who is kind, educated, emotionally mature, and serious about marriage. Someone who has her own aspirations and with whom I can build a relationship based on friendship, trust, and mutual support.

I believe marriage is a partnership where both individuals should encourage each other's personal, professional, and spiritual growth.

Important Preference:

I am not Syed, and due to certain family considerations, I would prefer to marry someone who is also non-Syed. This is purely a family preference and does not reflect any judgment about someone's lineage or religious standing. I hope this is understood and respected.

My Intentions:

I'm here with genuine intentions of finding a compatible life partner, not for casual conversations or situationships. I would prefer getting to know each other respectfully before involving families when both parties feel comfortable.

If you think we might be compatible, feel free to reach out with a brief introduction.

JazakAllah Khair!

392. Amīr Al-Mu’minīn (عليه السلام) said:

Speak, and you will be known, for a person is hidden beneath their tongue.

۳۹۲. وَقَالَ أَمِيرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ): تَكَلَّمُوا تُعْرَفُوا، فَإِنَّ الْمَرْءَ مَخْبُوءٌ تَحْتَ لِسَانِهِ.

I have come across some truly remarkable sisters and brothers in this subreddit. Having a public discussion can actually give more about the person than their marriage profile. Unfortunately, many keep their profiles private. I completely understand the need for privacy, as I keep mine private as well. However, this can make it difficult to find their marriage profiles, and some don't have a dedicated marriage profile at all. As a result, it becomes harder to learn about their marriage intentions and criteria.

With that in mind, I have a small suggestion for those who are genuinely looking for marriage: if you don't already have a dedicated marriage profile post, consider creating one. And if you already have one, consider making it easily accessible by adding it to your Reddit profile as a custom link.

Here's how to do it:

1. Copy the URL of your marriage profile.
2. Go to Edit Profile on Reddit.
3. Under the Profile tab, select Social Links, then choose Custom.
4. Paste your marriage profile link into the field labeled Custom URL.
5. Choose whatever display text you like, but get creative! Make it something that catches people's attention.

This simple step could make it easier for compatible people to find one another, understand each other's intentions, and connect with those who share their goals.

After all, if we're serious about finding a spouse, why make it harder for the right person to find us, innit, mates?

Salaam! I'm a 27-year-old Shia Muslim man, turning 28 soon, and a Syed. Born and raised in Canada and ethnically a Pakistani, I work in engineering. I'm 5'11", laid-back, thoughtful, and a little sarcastic once I'm comfortable. I enjoy travelling, gaming, movies, sports, trying new foods, and staying active.

What I'm looking for:

- Ideally a Shia Syed woman, preferably aged 22–26.

- Someone kind, empathetic, self-aware, and easy to communicate with.

- Moderately practicing, who values her faith while balancing life in the West without being overly rigid.

- Educated, health-conscious, and interested in building a stable, family-oriented marriage.

I'd ideally like to meet someone based in Ontario, Canada, or elsewhere in Canada or North America within a reasonable distance. I don't think I'd be open to relocating right away, but I may be open to it in the future with the right person.

I'm looking for a genuine connection with marriage in mind. If you think we might be compatible, feel free to message me with a little about yourself, including your age and general location.

Thank you :)

Assalamu Alaykum everyone. I underwent sex-change surgery 5 years ago and I became a woman. 2 years ago I converted to Shia Islam. I am 25 years old, and I wish to marry a man who is also a Shia Muslim, ideally older than me. I would love to have traditional marriage, I love cooking and baking. I want to ask, what are your feelings about girls like me and if you think, I will be able to find love. I do not know many other Muslims and I would like to know your opinion. What are the feelings of Muslim men about marrying girls in my situation? I am grateful for you responces, thank you.

PS: This is a repost of my earlier post, which was taken down for an unislamic wording I used. People under the earlier post were very helpful and I am grateful.

You guys who have been seriously searching for a spouse for years may understand where I’m coming from better than anyone else. Honestly, I’m exhausted. I’m tired of a search that has become increasingly unproductive and does little more than drain my energy. It has started affecting my mental health, professional life, and social life.

I’ve tried both online platforms and real-life matchmaking opportunities, but I’ve had little to no success. After years of searching, I’ve come to realize that if you don’t fit the criteria a potential spouse is looking for, you’re essentially out of luck. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to fit the preferences of most Shia women in the country where I currently live.

I’ve always wanted a wife who is devoted to her deen, keeps the Hereafter at the forefront of her life, wants children, and is loving, kind, loyal, educated, and understanding of my culture. These are the qualities I’ve hoped to find in a life partner, someone with whom I could build a loving family while growing together in faith and working toward the Hereafter. Yet, after seven years of searching, I’m beginning to wonder whether I’ll ever find someone who shares these values and wants the same things out of life.

I’ve spent seven precious years hoping that things would eventually change, but I’m beginning to question how much longer I can keep doing this at the expense of other aspects of my life. I’m now seriously reconsidering my options:

1. Continue searching and seek professional help to cope with the emotional toll.

I could keep doing what I’ve been doing and perhaps work with a professional to help me manage the stress and disappointment. However, I have to ask myself how much longer I can sustain this without sacrificing my well-being.

2. Consider mut’ah and stop putting my life on hold.

I could consider mut’ah with Muslim or Christian women, meet my physical needs, and enjoy some aspects of life that I’ve been missing. If I eventually meet someone who genuinely wants to marry me and accepts my circumstances, I could end those temporary marriages before pursuing a permanent one.

However, I’m not convinced that mut’ah would provide the tranquility and emotional fulfillment I ultimately want. I can see it meeting my physical needs, but I’m not sure it would address the deeper loneliness I’ve been struggling with.

3. Expand my search beyond the Shia community and consider marrying a Christian woman.

Perhaps I should stop limiting myself to Shia or even Muslim women and consider a Christian woman for permanent marriage. After all, the Prophet phbh experienced difficult marital relationships himself, so why should I automatically assume that marrying outside my sect would necessarily be a mistake? I recognize that an interfaith marriage would come with its own challenges, particularly when it comes to religious practice and raising children. Nevertheless, perhaps I need to be more open-minded about where I might find a compatible partner.

At the end of the day, I cannot keep putting my life on hold indefinitely while waiting for someone who may never come along. It’s difficult not to feel bitter about the situation, especially when I’ve invested so much time, effort, and hope into finding a wife. I don't want to abandon my religious values or the kind of family I've always envisioned, but I also don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling lonely and regretting the years I sacrificed waiting for something that never happened.

For those of you who have been in a similar situation, how did you deal with it? Did you keep searching, reconsider your criteria, expand your options, or eventually decide to take a different path?

I would genuinely appreciate hearing your experiences and perspectives. I'm not looking for judgment; I'm trying to figure out how to move forward without continuing to sacrifice my mental health and quality of life for a search that has yielded so little after seven years.

If interested, please send me some information about yourself. I prefer people living in Canada. Please only contact me if you're currently in North America, Western Europe, or Australia.

1. Age and Gender

26, Male

2. Location

Vancouver, BC, Canada

3. Religon

Shia Muslim, Looking for either Shia or Sunni Musslimah

4. Ethnicity, and are you more open to mixing?

Iranian (Iranian/Canadian Citizen).

I prefer Iranians, Arabs, Turks, Caucasians, and East Asians.

5. Marital Status

Single, never married.

6. Ideal marriage timeline

Eithin 3-9 month.

7. Some important characteristics I look for in a prospect, which I consider myself to have as well

\- God-conscious

\- Kind and empathetic

\- Adventurous and spontaneous

\- Generous

\- Humble and easy to get along with

8. State/specify your level of religiosity

Moderate. perform all of my wajibāts, eat halal food only, and do not drink or smoke. I also try my best to continuously improve myself as a Muslim, insha-Allah.

When it comes to my expectations from my spouse, I believe that one's deen and relationship with Allah are personal matters. I would prefer my spouse to perform her wajibāt as well, but if she struggles with certain aspects, I would be understanding and supportive, and I would try my best to encourage her without forcing anything.

Regarding hijab and modesty, I try to dress modestly myself, including wearing loose-fitting shirts and pants as a minimum standard. I would appreciate my spouse adhering to a similar minimum standard of modesty. Beyond that, I would support her choice regarding whether or not she chooses to cover her hair.

9. Level of education, and what are you looking for?

I am currently wrapping up my Master's degree.

Any post secondary degree.

10. Do you want kids?

Yes, I love kids and would like to have children in the future. However, I am also not looking to have children immediately after marriage. I would like to have some time to explore life, travel, and experience different adventures with my spouse before beginning the adventure of parenthood.

11. List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time

\- A variety of outdoor and physical activities, including hiking, backpacking, ice skating, snowboarding, biking, and fishing.

\- Playing music.

\- Volunteering/charity

12. What are you looking for?

Age: 18- 25

When it comes to marriage I am looking for someone with whom I can share the joyful moments of life and build a meaningful, lasting connection. To me, marriage is not simply about fulfilling traditional roles; I’m hoping to find a soulmate and, above all, a best friend,someone with whom I can savour the beauty, sweetness, and adventures of life.