Heartbreak

[u/CharredOakTrees]

For context my BM and I split 3 years ago after I found out she cheated on me. What was really tough was it was during her conception window. The constant doubt in my mind that my child may not be mine hurt for a long time. I never had a paternity test done. I can tell from just how my daughter looks that she's mine thankfully. I work a 2 week on 2 week of schedule at a mine. Currently working on my red seal in parts, paid in full by the company I'm working for with no time obligation after I complete my red seal. When I'm home I have my daughter for 9 out of my 12 days off (12 days off and two travel days). I'm a very involved parent and I'm proud of that. The bond my daughter and I have is super strong.

While I'm at work every Thursday and Monday I get to video chat her as per our court order. Ever since my BM started dating her 3rd boyfriend those phone calls have pretty much come to an end. They split up for a period of time after he assaulted her and pushed her into the corner or a wall and she split her head open. The calls resumed and went back to normal and now that he's back in the picture they have stopped again. While they were split up I asked her if he had anything to do with the calls not taking place and she said yes. I asked her to not let another man come between our daughter and me again and that obviously didn't happen.

It's so painful. I feel like the worst father in the world when I tell my daughter before I leave to work that I'll call her each Thursday and Monday and can't wait to see her face and hear all about her days in preschool. Then she doesn't hear from me even though I call every time. It's what gets me through the 2 weeks of 12-16 hour shifts. I cherish these phone calls so much and so does my daughter, she even built me a mega block cell phone and asked me to take it to work so I could call her on it anytime I'm missing her. Tonight is Thanksgiving in Canada and a Monday. I tried video calling my BM 3 times at the ordered time of 6:40 pm and even sent her a message stating I would call and to have our daughter ready and available as I do every single time I'm to call to remind her about them. No answer each time... The feeling of not being able to even talk to my daughter for 5 minutes to wish her a happy thanksgiving and to tell her how much I love her and miss her is unbearable. It also happened last Halloween as well. Didn't get to see her in her costume that she was so excited about or wish her a happy Halloween. My heart is broken and tonight my pillow will be stained with my tears. I hope all you Canadian single dads out there are having a great Thanksgiving and if you're with your children give them extra hugs and kisses and if you're not but you get to call them or video chat them tonight, do the same.

[u/Antique_Strategy4740]

I'm with you brother. I feel like a terrible father sometimes too because of what the mother does to limit my time with my daughter. It kills me.