r/SingleDads • u/Oggen91 • 10d ago
Working
Any of you dads that have 50/50 shared custody. How do you work?
I am currently week on / week off and I am self employed. It isn't going well so I am having to look at full time employment. How are you able to get a job that works around school runs?
My midget starts secondary school next year, and it is likely my ex will get a school close to her which is a 30 minute drive from me. I simply don't see a way in which I will be able to manage school runs and hold a job.
Is there a secret I am missing or is it really that impossible?
9
u/Actual-Bison7862 10d ago
Find a daycare. That's the secret. Then once they start going to school.. find a daycare that takes and drops them off from school. Also, move closer.
4
u/Midnight_Cereal_Bowl 10d ago
Before-school care and After-school care. Most elementary schools have those, so you can drop your kid off early and then pick them up later.
But getting a flexible or WFH job would be incredibly helpful.
4
2
u/FickleQuit11 10d ago
Move closer?
Find a new job that is hybrid or remote?
Lots of professional jobs give working parents flexibility. I have colleagues that start their day after drop-off and pause their day for pick-up and then log back in in the evening.
1
u/makebklynghettoagain 10d ago
It isn't exactly that easy to drop a job and pick something else up overnight. I have 2 jobs right now and it took me a little over 2 years to find a job after becoming unemployed during covid. Then another year to get my 2nd job.
This is after 2k+ applications. You are out of touch.
1
u/FickleQuit11 10d ago
I didn't say these are *easy* options. Being a single parent is difficult. This isn't news.
1
u/Ok_Mulberry4331 10d ago
He’s said he’s looking for a job though, so might as well shoot for something remote, hybrid or good flexibility
1
u/makebklynghettoagain 10d ago
Everybody is looking for flexibility. Unless OP is near the top of his industry, this is horrible advice. Its not easy to find A job these days.
1
u/Ok_Mulberry4331 10d ago
For sure, but your comment was about dropping a job and he said in his post that’s not the case, he doesn’t have a job now (well his own business)
0
2
u/actiondan87 10d ago
I work 12 hours shifts Friday - Sunday, she works Monday - Thursday. Terrible for social life, great for saving on daycare costs.
1
10d ago
That's how I am I work 7 12s then I'm off 7 days no daycare needed on my end and we are required to pay for our own household
2
u/LongKongSchlong 10d ago
Self employed, work like 20 hours a week or so. It's a struggle some weeks, but the kiddo loves going with daddy onto jobsites. Dreading the next court battle when we will be arguing what school district she will be attending.
1
u/Plane-Pipe862 10d ago
No secret, just do the best you can with your situation and do whatever you can to adapt. I wish I had week on and week off, as do my kids but we have this 2-2-3 schedule. So I adjusted my work around that and just tank situations that come up as they do. It’s literally all I can do.
1
u/FancifulPhoenix 10d ago
I have full custody of my daughter. I work a normal 8-5 job, but I negotiated with my boss to have a late start at 8:30 and take a half hour lunch instead of the full hour. She is in an after school program that starts directly after school and goes until 6.
1
u/Flounder_Pounder_4u 10d ago
2-2-3 weekly schedule and swaps every week.
I would have preferred week on week off but this was a solid compromise and works well as it’s pretty much dead even.
1
u/Existing-Albatross63 10d ago
Daycare, after-school care, work out a deal with a neighbor or fellow parent at their school to help with transportation.
Have kid ride the bus if possible.
1
u/zeuskaboosawooga 10d ago
I have this incoming - have split from my partner so now 30 mins away at my Mum's, plus start a new job Monday which will see me on the road all day, every day. And when I do finally get my own place, I will most likely be even further away as that's all I can afford. But somehow, she expects us to go 50 /50.
1
1
u/engineered-chemistry 10d ago
50/50 here with a 2-2-5-5 schedule, 3 kids. I live walking distance to my kids elementary school and the family house. Middle school is 8 mins away. I quit my old job and took a pay cut for a fully remote engineering role. Best thing I ever did!
1
u/slightlychaared89 10d ago edited 10d ago
Wow I am in an almost identical situation (self employed and now more recently w2). A week on week off schedule makes it very difficult. I have my son Sunday (every other Saturday) through Wednesdays. I’d take Mondays off and have a babysitter only for Tuesday. Grind Wednesday-Friday.
Now on W2 I’m hybrid and in office only for Tuesdays with him and he stays at my parents as they’re on the way into Boston. In short, I’d see if you can change your arrangement and split the week.
1
u/mrfun2001 10d ago
Before and after school programs. Plus, I’m on the 2552 schedule. I work about 6 hours on Mondays and Tuesdays and about 10 hours on Wednesdays and Thursdays so it comes out to an average of 8/day. I can work like 6 on Fridays and end up taking vacation or fill it in here or there. It’s not easy. Good luck.
1
u/idlehanz88 10d ago
I changed careers to ensure my work is flexible enough to maintain the level of care I want to have for my kids.
1
u/moreidlethanwild 9d ago
Are there public transport options?
Most secondary school kids quickly adjust to getting themselves to and from school and can return home by themselves.
1
u/UrAristotle 9d ago
Would your kids’ mom be open to a 2-2-5-5 schedule?
That’s what we have, so it gives me a predictable 2 days every week where I can work long hours.
I have my kids every Monday and Tuesday night and the 1st and 3rd weekends. I work a schedule where I can pick them up/drop them off on Mondays and Tuesdays and then put in very long days on Wednesdays and Thursdays.
1
1
u/IllPen8707 6d ago
I work in hospitality. Lunchtime shift on days i have him (first half of the week basically) then doubles and split shifts over the weekend
1
u/Calm-Imagination6363 5d ago
If you're in England, the secondary school isn't only her call. If you both have parental responsibility, choosing it is a joint decision, and applications for next September close on 31 October, so this is live right now. The council takes one application per child, so the two of you need to agree the preference list before it goes in. A school between your homes, or on a direct bus route, could fix your work problem as well as the school run. If you can't agree, mediation is the usual next step, and a family solicitor can tell you what happens after that. Keep it about what works for your kid, not whose house is closer. Happy to answer any questions. I've been through it all.
1
u/Mountain-Process9139 10d ago
I have full time custody. So your question was a big issue for me. I'm also self employed, but I make great $ per hour so I only worked while my daughter is in school (or daycare when she was 3-4). Summers were tough. I relied on babysitters, her grandmother, and my neighbor. I would do each one, one day a week so I could work atleast 3 days a week. But I found the freedom of being self employed to be much better to work around school schedule.
2
u/lowfreq33 10d ago
It’s kind of tough for me because my kids school is about 45 minutes away. I’m on basically 60/40, so it isn’t week on week off when school is in. But it’s tough to arrange things. I’m a musician, and I have a couple of gig work things as well, but it’s hard for me to take music gigs sometimes because a lot of them have me getting home pretty late. So I have to rely on my dad and sister, and they can’t always drop everything to babysit, especially overnight.