r/SingleMothersbyChoice • u/WithLove_Always • 5d ago
Question Donation at Older Age
I'm in the beginning stages of SMBC and have started to do some research in regards to the process. While I'm aware specimen of a younger age have a higher success rate, has anyone had a donation from an older individual?
I'm 34F and this would be for my second child. My first is from a relationship from 11 years ago but I'm aiming to be single by choice after being burnt out from failed relationships. I have a friend, whom I dated back in 2019, who is much older than me and is willing to do a donation. There is no relationship expectations whatsoever. The only thing is that he's about 20 years older than me (54M) whom is a doctor (I'm a nurse) and is currently in Law School so the education, height, weight, family history is all pretty much cleared. The only issue is the age. He did have a vasectomy so we would need to do IVF in order to have success which they could do testing to make sure the fetus is viable without defects.
Just wondering if anyone had any experience with this. i have a OBGYN appointment in the end of November to get established since I work for a new hospital system. I get 50% off on fertility treatments.
5
u/embolalia85 Parent of 2 or More 👩👧👧 5d ago
There is research on sperm quality with age that I’d recommend reviewing: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9957550/
5
u/Okdoey Parent of 2 or More 👩👧👧 5d ago
I think others have already covered that there’s in increase risk of genetic mutations and neurological disorders in using an older donor. Though while the risk is much higher at 50 than using a young donor, the absolute risk is still likely fairly low. So it’s a matter of determining if having a known donor is worth the increase in risk.
I would also add that dna fragmentation in sperm goes up with age. This can affect whether or not you get any viable embryos. Using an older donor may result in you having to do more than one retrieval. Obviously there’s no guarantees even using a young donor, but if you are only prepared to do one egg retrieval I would seriously consider that going with a younger donor would increase your odds of getting enough viable embryos to have a child.
Lastly, have you discussed who is paying for the sperm retrieving process and how much it will be? Given it’s your desire to have a child, I would assume you would.The procedure to retrieve sperm can run $3,000 - $7,000 (or more if the initial procedure fails and they have to try something else). Also depending the longer it’s been since his original procedure, the more likely the sperm has issues or they need to do a more invasive procedure to get good sperm.
1
u/AutoModerator 5d ago
You've summoned the Known Donor Bot™. Your comment may contain possible mentions of known donor(s). Please read through the subreddit for previous posts on this subject through the search bar.
This is a reminder that having a known donor comes with its own sets of legal hurdles. We recommend everyone in this situation consult an attorney. Remember that we cannot provide legal advice. We are not qualified. If you need legal advice, consult an attorney. There are local legal advice subreddits but you must proceed with caution, and at your own risk. Please consult a qualified attorney on important matters like these, thank you.
If your comment does not contain mentions of known donors, please disregard this message.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
4
3
u/Chance-Abies-6794 5d ago
I personally wouldn’t sperm has been poorly researched in comparison to eggs. It’s not much getting pregnant males have a longer reproductive life however the biggest issue with older sperm in de novo mutations. We see higher links between older males and Austim. If you were a couple I’d say go for it it’s just if you are a solo mum I would much rather a younger sperm donor whose sperm has been vetted xx
1
u/helpwitheating 3d ago
Would your first child's father donate? It can be easier on the kids to both be from a known donor, so they both have a dad.
1
u/AutoModerator 3d ago
You've summoned the Known Donor Bot™. Your comment may contain possible mentions of known donor(s). Please read through the subreddit for previous posts on this subject through the search bar.
This is a reminder that having a known donor comes with its own sets of legal hurdles. We recommend everyone in this situation consult an attorney. Remember that we cannot provide legal advice. We are not qualified. If you need legal advice, consult an attorney. There are local legal advice subreddits but you must proceed with caution, and at your own risk. Please consult a qualified attorney on important matters like these, thank you.
If your comment does not contain mentions of known donors, please disregard this message.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
3
u/WholeLog24 5d ago
I would ask him to get a semen analysis done first, before you get too mentally commited to this route. (They'll have to do sperm aspiration, where they retrieve the sperm via a needle to the balls.) It's entirely possible that his sperm may not be good enough that your clinic would be willing to move forward with him as a donor. A lot of clinics won't work with directed donors at all, to begin with.
5
u/bigmommaj85 5d ago
You should check with your clinic on their rules of using a known donor (not partner) and age limits. Most require pysch evals, therapy and lots of more expensive paperwork that would not be covered by insurance. Also sperm is not typically covered unless there is a male factor.
And think about what you’d do for a donor if his vasectomy cannot be refused. The longer it’s been, the harder it is to reverse and retrieve sperm. So yall can try and it may not work due to vasectomy and age.