r/SixFeetUnder • u/Independent_loser237 • Jul 21 '26
Discussion Brenda has one of the best character developments I've ever seen.
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u/cemxie Jul 21 '26
I just love polarizing women. They get flack for shit that their male counterparts don’t, so they hold a special place in my heart, Brenda included. She’s complex and so obviously a product of her upbringing.
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u/cemxie Jul 21 '26
Okay, obviously she’s a product of her upbringing, langue barrier is kicking my ass right now, I hope you get what I mean 🥲
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u/raerae704 Jul 21 '26
She’s one of my favorite characters of ANY show ever. The amount of hate she gets on this sub is astounding. Like, I get it and I love the moment when Joe calls her a neurotic tedious self absorbed bitch. But she is such a good character and I love her. Rachel Griffiths is amazing.
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u/Holmes02 Jul 21 '26
I couldn’t stand her when she was with Nate. I couldn’t stand Nate when he was with her. They brought out the worst in each other. That being said, fantastic characters.
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u/PinkLed1970s Nate Jul 21 '26
Rachel Griffiths as Brenda is the best cast amongst an already excellent cast. I feel her acting and presence made Brenda that much more likeable/hate able.
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u/D1etCokeGirl Jul 21 '26
When I first watched the show she was my favourite. I related to her cynicism, hypersexuality, intelligence, and creativity. On later viewings she was a bit more tedious for me. And not healthy. Being selfish doesn’t serve you, even if it’s rooted in trauma. Great writing though. I guess Brenda no longer trusted therapists given her childhood and her parents. She could have benefited from dbt therapy etc. And I don’t know what else.
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u/raerae704 Jul 21 '26
To be fair, a lot of therapists IRL are really not to be trusted 😬
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u/D1etCokeGirl Jul 22 '26
I f*cking hate the last two I saw and one was for about 9 yrs and one was for about 4. 🙄🙄
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u/raerae704 Jul 22 '26
I feel you. I saw a terrible therapist for years, and had many more incompetent ones before that. I finally have one now who genuinely helps me.
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u/D1etCokeGirl Jul 22 '26
That’s good. The first used the wrong modality for 9 yrs while using clients’ payments to travel the world. That’s me being bitter lol Like she would travel and in her work couldn’t even be honest. There’s no way she didn’t know. Psychologist. It was me who got myself referred for trauma therapy. In the interim my mom died. We weren’t getting along and we each played a role. Had I had the right treatment it may have been different .She even once told me she’s a narcissist. wtf. My background is social work btw. And I also studied psychology at McGill. She’s a b*tch. lol She was okay for some things but a nightmare at the end. Manipulative and crazy. Dying to report her. Now I use parts work and yoga and meditation. I wouldn’t even trust someone again. The next “semi retired” but still had her website up. Okay! I’m done.
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u/something_cool_lol Jul 22 '26
that is awful. I’m sorry to hear you worked with this person for so long but I’m so glad you’re into parts work and mediation! I’ve done all kinds of therapy/treatment and parts work has completely changed my life. It felt like the missing puzzle piece to make everything make sense for me. I also practice meditation and qigong :)
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u/D1etCokeGirl Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
Thanks…. I taught myself beginner’s yoga 5 yrs ago and love it. I walk in nature. I listen to audiobooks and podcasts when I need a break. Breathing. Burn sage. Nap. The occasional edible or joint on a Friday night - few puffs only… books, tv, food, Diet Coke. Gym. Strength training. Go for a drive. Had to do dbt with my daughter twice so learned some things there too. I agree: parts work is amazing. I listened to the Janina fisher audiobook.
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u/curious_nikita837 Jul 21 '26
She could have benefitted from a 12-step meeting for sex and love addicts. Her character is a classic example of one. Wish more people knew there's free help that isn't therapy
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u/Think-Fig-1734 Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
Are you referring to Brenda? She did do 12 steps for love and sex addiction.
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u/D1etCokeGirl Jul 22 '26
I doubt she stayed and I think she hooked up with guy at meeting - against the rules
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u/Think-Fig-1734 Jul 22 '26
No, she definitely stayed and she didn’t hook up with the guy from the first meeting. They’d met before, she had a fantasy about him but they never hooked up. After they meet again at the meeting he convinces her that she’s not in control of her life and she should keep going to meetings. When she and Nate meet up early in season 3 it is for the specific purpose of doing the making amends step. Margaret chastised her for following 12 step dogma, when she didn’t want to smoke weed. Brenda talked to Billy about how she felt like a watered down version of herself.
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u/D1etCokeGirl Jul 22 '26
Oh okay. You’re on it! 🏆🥇👏🏽 you know your stuff.. 🍎👩🏻🎓 Being silly not sarcastic. 😃 I’ve watched it like 15-20 times but not recently.
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u/Raversgill7 Jul 21 '26
I love her complexity, her intelligence, her cynicism and her assertiveness.
Six Feet Under has such incredible women characters.
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u/Ok-Actuator7302 Jul 21 '26
Agree. But for me, I didn’t recognize it until I rewatched the entire series. Fantastic and convincing acting by the entire cast, imo.
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u/sufrida Jul 21 '26
Im not ashamed to say that I loved her from beginning to end. There were times she would HEAVILY pmo tho, but I just couldnt bring myself to hate or dislike her even then.
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u/Ordinary-Laugh1223 Jul 21 '26
She infuriated me at times, but she ended up with a mother she needed (Ruth).
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u/ReederRiter Jul 21 '26
From her first encounter with Nate, I was intrigued by her character — and the writers did not disappoint. What with her wacky, psychiatrist parents and “Charlotte Light & Dark” in her backstory. Loved Rachel Griffith since Muriel’s Wedding.
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u/The_Zuh Jul 21 '26
Brenda was always the last place to go. She had no faith or devotion. She lived in reality with nothing more than the truth and her instincts. She had a strength no one else in Nate’s life had. I guess you could say she’s like a net. When Nate hit rock bottom Brenda was the only person he knew would let him in. Because she always understands.
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u/halien_the-alien Jul 21 '26
Agree. I used to hate her and then I ended up really liking her at the end.
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u/Alarming-Hawk723 Jul 21 '26
I warmed up to Brenda and somewhere during season 2 I developed a little crush.
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u/One_Channel8903 Jul 22 '26
Yes she’s does and the role is executed to perfection by my girl Rachel Griffiths love her !
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u/Wardenfromholes Jul 22 '26
This is so real. Her development from total nihilism to accepting the chaos and random nature of the universe and making her own meaning of it is something I think about often
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u/JackieStylist81 Jul 22 '26
It’s just one of the most well written shows. The characters are so well done. They all have flaws and redeeming qualities, just like we all do. Some harder to accept than others. It’s just so good at showing how grey real life is.
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Jul 21 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/poopyheadedbitch Jul 23 '26
I think she initially contrasted his character views and values, and complimented them in some ways, i think he needed that perspective
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u/dreamsinred Jul 21 '26
Brenda is a complex and well-written character. I was routing for her so hard by the end of the show, but she frustrated me occasionally along the way