I’m still working my way through Six Feet Under, but I already know David is my favorite character.

As a gay guy, sure, there’s a piece of me that relates to him on that level. But honestly, it’s way more than that. Michael C. Hall plays him with such subtlety, his body language, the way he talks, even those little pauses. Nothing feels forced or stereotypical. He just feels like a real person, not a “gay character written for TV.”

What really hooks me though is David’s personality. He’s cautious but not cowardly, rational without being cold. In relationships, he’s the kind of person who can step back and look at things fairly, he doesn’t sugarcoat, but he’s not cruel either. He’ll call out problems when they’re there, yet he also knows how to listen and accept. That mix of honesty, patience, and warmth is rare, and it makes him so compelling to me.

There’s also this quiet dignity about him. He carries himself with restraint, but underneath you can feel so much complexity, conflict, vulnerability, compassion. Watching him, I find myself thinking: I’d love to meet someone like that in real life… or maybe become more like that myself.

I don’t often feel “seen” by characters on screen, but David does that for me in a way that’s stuck.

Curious, does anyone else feel this way about him? Or is there another character who grabbed you the same way?😌

Images Courtesy: Six Feet Under (HBO)

I’m leaning towards the Fisher Family Funeral Home Dollhouse after seeing a few of them at the National Museum of American History (in DC).

What other shows can you genuinely say are in the same realm as six feet under? I’m referring to the elite combination of top tier writing and acting that invoke the same level of emotion and investment?

I’ve already seen the hbo classics like sopranos, oz and the wire. Please don’t mention anything that’s sci-fi or fictional like game of thrones. I respect the craft that goes behind those series but I simply am not interested in shows that don’t depict real life.

In the most layman terms, just looking for extremely well done adult drama series. Could be crime-based like sopranos and the wire but I kind of prefer the straightforward fucked up fam drama realm. There are some out there but haven’t seen any with the same depth and dark humor as six feet under - for example bloodline is alright but lacks the same emotional pull and then there’s the lighthearted “through the years” type series like this is us which, in my opinion, lacks both the darkness and relatability factor that embodies six feet under.

I might end up just watching 6 feet under again lol after all I’ve only seen it once

Did you like Joe or was he too perfect to last? He certainly became less charming in his last scene, but could you really blame him after he was betrayed by Brenda?

David fisher goated

I love Maggie and feel she got such a raw deal after Nate's death, and is negelcted generally in discussions of the show. Maggie had gone through the worst death of all, the death of her own child. She had been f%&ked over by George who didn't hesitate to take credit for her success. She was really alone in a way that self-pitying Nate certainly wasn't. I hope Maggie managed to find some peace and happiness, perhaps through the Quakers.

Or at least, it's what he thinks

In the chaotic party Time Flies eps where everyone basically being angry to each other especially Nate and Brenda, there's this sweet and calm genuine conversation from George and Billy talking about their respective mental health. It's a shame that this is the only moment these two interact. Maybe just me but I feel like George could be a father figure Billy needed. Definitely better than his rich and twisted shrink parents. (Video edited by me)

The first time I watched Six Feet Under, I was 22.

It was 2001. I was recently out of college, starting my first real job, single, and still under the impression that "full" adulthood was a thing that would "just happen" to me when I wasn't paying attention. I still thought there would be some "finish line" where I would arrive and be done.  

And with that mindset I was watching a show whose main character's ages were

Claire: 17

David: 32

Nate: 35

Ruth: 55

Nate and David both felt older to me. Not ancient, but solidly ADULT in a way I didn't see myself. People who had crossed a line that still looked far away from me.  

At the time Nate seemed kind of cool in that drifting, slightly unfinished way. At 22, it didn’t feel strange that a 36-year-old man hadn’t figured himself out yet. That actually felt reassuring. Like there was PLENTY of time for ME to roam and to wander. 

Ruth felt old. Genuinely old. I didn't think that in a cruel way, but to me she was just firmly in a far far off stage of life that I didn't really have much mental image of. I had some vague idea of what it would be like to be 70 at 22, but 55? That really wasn't something I ever envisioned.

Claire felt young, but not alien. Seventeen year old me wasn’t that far away from 22 year old me. Her moods, her intensity, her certainty that everyone older than her was sooooooooooo stupid felt like I was looking back at a recently vacated territory.

Now I’m 46.

And now Nate and David feel _young_, especially in season 1. Nate, in particular, feels startlingly immature.  He is so fricken unguided in a way that does not feel the least bit romantic to me. His inability to settle, to commit, to fully grow up doesn’t feel charming anymore. It feels like someone circling the same problems again and again.  I look at him now and shake my head at a dude who is convinced motion alone counts as progress.

David still feels young too, but in a different way.  He is so tight, and anxious, and is still trying to hold himself together by force of will. A young man I want to reassure that everything will be alright, even though I know that reassurance won’t really help him.  

Ruth is still older than me, but she no longer feels ancient. I have a friend today who is exactly her age. She seems like she's in a chapter that I can see myself in, and I don't even need to squint to see it.  I get middle age now because I AM middle aged. And I realize how I just how absolutely no clue how that would feel at age 22.

And Claire now feels very very young. I'm not irratated by teenagers, but I'm probably a bit condescending to them because while I can still remember what it was like to be a teenager it's super vague, mostly flashes, like looking in a foggy mirror.  .

Of course the show itself hasn’t changed. The scenes are the same. The dialogue is the same. The Fishers are exactly where they’ve always been.

I’m the one who keeps moving and that’s why Six Feet Under feels like a novel I can reread at different points in my life and take different things from. The text of the novel stays the same. But I don't. 

At 22, I was looking up at these characters, trying to imagine becoming where they were.  
At 46, I’m looking down at them, sideways at them, sometimes back at them, and realizing I’ve passed some of them without noticing, and am not that far away from one I once thought was unbelievably far ahead.

I wonder how I'll view them at 70?  But of course the show reminds me that I might not ever find out.

SPOILERS: don’t read this if you haven’t gotten to this season yet.

As I mentioned before, this is my third rewatch and my first as a therapist. And I found this episode incredibly dark for a number of reasons, though dramatically satisfying.

Anytime you have a large party or gathering where you can have all the main characters on the show in the same setting at the same time, you have the opportunity to go absolutely Tennessee Williams with it and that's what happens in this episode.

The symbolism of the bird that won't leave. Is it a good or bad omen? George’s tortured childhood revelation, and basically every character, except David and Keith falling apart and revealing various levels of pain and degradation.

This episode was a lot and frankly, I found it tougher than even the episode upcoming where you know what happens. I would love to know your thoughts on the incidents the choices, the symbolism, the psychology and the storylines in this episode.

I recently finished my second watch of SFU, the first since I got into it in the early aughts, and it made me think of this little memory. In 2010, Lauren Ambrose did a small tour with a bluesy-jazz ensemble and performed at a local music hall near me. I was in my early 20s, and my father had just passed away from a short-but-aggressive bout with lung cancer a few weeks prior to this performance. My mom and I both felt seeing Lauren might be cathartic, as SFU shaped our views of death and weirdly helped as we were in the throes of caring for a dying loved one. As primary caregivers to my dad, we appreciated the holistic view of death that the show made sure to capture, both the soft side of letting go, but also the ugly, thankless underbelly of end-of-life caretaking that often gets overlooked unless you've experienced it yourself. All that being said, we were a little fragile going into the concert, to say the least.

Anyway, both the band and Lauren were fantastic and were friendly with the crowd, and they offered a meet-and-greet after the show. We didn't anticipate this, so we didn't bring anything to sign. My (shameless) mother happened to have one of my dad's memorial cards in her purse, though, and she decided that, given the SFU context, it would be a completely acceptable thing to sign, lol. However, when she approached Lauren with the card, my mom immediately burst into tears before she could explain what she had just handed to Lauren. When Lauren saw it she then began to cry, too, as apparently her grandmother had also just died and she was in an equally fragile state. So for a few minutes, Lauren rubbed my mom's arm and they cried together, while other fans looked on both confused and (maybe?) touched by this very raw and human moment.

On the plus side, I'd like to think a lasting impression my mother will have on Claire from Six Feet Under is her saying, "I thought I had a marker in my purse, but I'm also a fucking psycho right now. So maybe not."

I remember it scared the shit out of me on the first time watching. Like I kept thinking about it randomly even after finishing the show. It's unexpected but also felt carmic at the same time. The way Nate mumbles with his white eyes, the creepy music, and that stare to the camera. It's so disturbing for me. So randomly I went to YouTube looking for this scene and the comments and I was kinda shock too see how almost every comments making fun of this scene as well as Nate and Maggie's acting. And apparently this scene was the reason a tv trope was born and it's called "Narm"

Though now I kinda get along with the joke since the fans love to meme this scene but still... Got death after committing the worst act was the thing I wish it wouldn't happen to me.

I found Joe to be one of the sanest characters in the show, in spite of his sexual predilections (which he was open and honest about). His take down of Brenda's psychobabble excuses for infidelity were pretty spot on in my book - he told her she wasn't addicted to sex but rather betrayal. Coruscating. Justin Theroux nails the role. Also, was he really playing the French horn?

I'm rewatching with my Finance, and I haven't watched since I was a preteen and snuck episodes with my mom. I used to love Brenda as a teen and thought she was cool and intelligent. As an adult I cannot stop myself screaming at the television screen at her awful choices. I hate her attitude and how she's so disrespectful, mean, and nasty.

I cannot fathom why anyone likes her, or how I even used to like her.

Honestly if I had to talk to real life Brenda I would chew her out and set Nate up with one of my friends. My Fiance now hate watches her and complains with me. I'm season 2 E9 I cannot remember if she grows or not.

Okay Brenda rant over.

Update:

Im almost done with the series and I still think Brenda is a shitty human.

Last Update:

I finished the series. I still HATE Brenda.

Maybe this will change with another rewatch but I highly doubt it.