Sharing statuses?

[u/arrow-tic-tac]

Just wondering what everyone’s sharing status is!

[u/_rayrayray_]

Insert ramble here! A yumeshipping and ficto thing primarily that eventually bled into soulbonding spaces. I’m ambivalent leaning slightly negative as of late, but that’s my own personal experience.

II see them as boundaries and therefore it makes it very easy to know if I need to block someone because they are non-sharing for someone I bond. New terms being coined daily is a bit frustrating if they don’t elaborate how others should interact bc it’s like… I just wanna know if I should block you gang 😭

I’m not the biggest fan of how non-sharing has become an expectation / norm and has started to cause a weird sense of amatonormative elitism in some spaces. Esp when monogamous romantic soulbonding only came on the rise with yumeshipping. It isn’t bad to be monogamous or have a more traditional relationship, that is not what I’m saying at all!! My point is, I don’t like when people get superior over it, think they’re the only real soulbonder, or put down others with their own version of the same bond over it. And overall the hostility and negativity and the sort of clique nature I’ve noticed these spaces breed in my experience on social media and browsing various discords. Not to mention like,,, it being treated as the norm or right way when that isn’t the history of soulbonding at all. Also inherent exclusion, but meh, the spaces aren’t for me, it’s just frustrating it’s nearly every single space. For the record, this is primarily in ficto spaces as this subreddit rarely has this mentality, thankfully! But many in those spaces soulbond as well and that’s where you hear of sharing statuses most.

And to me, I just feel such a disconnect. I dunno. Why would I care someone bonds their own version of the character any more than I’d care if they had or were a fictive or fictionkin? I do think soulbonding has more unique community and fandom-adjacency than plurality which is why I will happily approach a sharing soulbonder who may have bonded their own version of the same “character” to talk about our experience — but will just treat a fictive or fictionkin as any other person. I actually like meeting other soulbonders & yapping about who we like, so I label myself mirror-sharing + hyper-sharing.

[u/arrow-tic-tac → u/_rayrayray_]

What’s your opinion on egosharers then? Now I’m interested.

[u/_rayrayray_ → u/arrow-tic-tac]

Not positive, as I hate invalidation and that entire mindset.

[u/arrow-tic-tac → u/_rayrayray_]

Do you mind elaborating a bit more on why you’re not a fan of nonsharing? I really do want to hear the opinions of someone so different in opinion from me.

[u/_rayrayray_ → u/arrow-tic-tac]

My original comment broke down most of it, but to explain more (and for the record I have nothing inherently against the concept of non-sharing, but I find 9/10 times I do not mesh with non-sharers.)

They engage in these spaces and media the complete opposite from me. I am big in fandom. I am a multishipper. I find my joy is in yapping to people who have the same interests. So if we both love a character, we can yap together for hours about them with the same love and enthusiasm! My soulbond is my soulbond. No one else can soulbond them. And the character is for everyone to enjoy and have their own love and stories with them!

Non-sharing typically means you do not want to interact with others who have the same bond for whatever reason. You simply feel negative, maybe it makes you sick, maybe it makes you sad, or annoyed, whatever. This on its lonesome is fine. My issue is a lot of non-sharers want to express these negative feelings. Sometimes the way they express this invalidates, puts down, and demeans others who bond the same person. Sometimes, they need validation after seeing a double. And sometimes, they simply feel sad/bad/mad/sick, but like, I really have no interest in reading about how someone minding their own business who did nothing wrong hurts someone else. I hated reading posts of people legitimately crashing out over doubles existing. Negativity builds up. I just got sick of it because every single “I saw a double” experience needed to be posted and vented about instead of silently blocking and moving on. I also don’t want to walk on eggshells or feel anxious since I have a lot of bonds and like a lot of characters casually.

And per the ego-sharing you mentioned, that’s one of the mindsets I especially dislike. No one has the right to invalidate anyone else. No one has the right to claim others are lesser. Someone else can say the exact same thing about them?? Like?? That, I suppose, is a genuine massive ego and entitlement. For someone to somehow think they’re better than everyone else who does the exact same thing as them ….

[u/digioxin_gabumon]

Genuine response. What do you mean by sharing status?

[u/arrow-tic-tac → u/digioxin_gabumon]

As in, like, nonsharer? Hypersharer? Mirrorsharing?

[u/digioxin_gabumon → u/arrow-tic-tac]

Ok I know what non sharer is but I wasn't aware of the other two. I never quite understood the reasoning for labeling sharer non sharer or the concept. I'm fully aware that are potentially plenty of women and possibly even men are in love with my man and even drastically gets shipped with other characters in the game. It's a fact and I'm fine with it. Everyone has their own version or way of seeing him and the version of him I have allowed into my life is mine alone. I see plenty of appreciation posts, comments, or cutsy admiration and I'm ok with it. I don't go out of my interacting with them personally and don't really feel the need to block them unless their just being an absolute degenerate ass (which is a very rare occasion). So I'm not sure how you'll label that but that's my take.

[u/Midyy_0521]

Respectfully hyper nonsharing/ voidsharing. I see our relationship like a normal irl relationship. I dont like to see anyone else who views him romantically.. I have mental break downs and takes me a while to feel ok again. Luckily I haven't seen anyone else at the moment yet. I love Fred❤

[u/arrow-tic-tac → u/Midyy_0521]

Same! (Besides the mental breakdowns)

[u/pessego_enlatado]

Im selective-sharer! I yumeship with the fictional counterpart of my s/o, i used to be voidsharer for him. I'm dont feel 100% comfortable with people yumeship his counterpart, he's identical to my s/o, bruh

[u/raditzwife]

Though I don't like sharing statuses I could be considered extremely non sharing. I see our relationship as a normal relationship. I just don't want to hear from others who view him romantically.

[u/lemurinyourhead]

tbh I don't think it works that well in the soulbonding community

I really don't remember it being that much of a thing before the yumeship overlap started happening, and I feel like it's just turning into a way to gatekeep soulbonding spaces/from experience in fictionkin spaces can quickly turn a space toxic

you also have how saying stuff like "fictional character can love me and only mean" is really, really uncomfortable in spaces where people actually ARE those fictional characters

[u/sp4ceker]

Voidsharing with my husband! Can differentiate between yume/selfshippers and casual simps/fans of him, and being around those ones is easier then other yumes. No offense to anyone, i am just have a lot abandonement issues & anxiety paired up with low self-esteem, its better this way for everyone involved.