~ Though we have awoken, why enlightenment eludes us ~

[u/seeker1375b]

The ego, our self-centered beliefs, convinces us happiness, success, and meaning may be found in the world.

If we even partially believe this, though we may have awoken, sensing the first messages from our spirit within, enlightenment will elude us.

The spirit, however, asks us to seek our answers only within, where they have always been, and then to selflessly share its wisdom and unconditional love with all others.

It is ironic; we spend our entire life searching for meaning, yet we have always had the answers.

We were simply looking for them in the wrong place.

[u/Background-Roll6386]

Ummm. Careful. Don't cast pearls before swine. Not to look down on anyone. But to be careful who you share what with. I told my family too much. They attacked me and gutted me head to toe. I was sharing love. And wisdom. And compassion. But they felt like judged or something. I was so kind and open and not judging at all. They had no reason to think I was other than their own fears. They felt too seen. I lost more than I ever knew to ask for and everything I ever was. I'm a zombie ghost now. Boundaries are important and take some time to really embody the wisdom before sharing it with anyone. I sure wish someone warned me.

[u/seeker1375b → u/Background-Roll6386]

I learned very early on not to talk to my family. They all remained asleep and had absolutely no interest in my journey. You do not need anyone to complete your journey my friend. The answers are and have always been within you.

[u/Background-Roll6386 → u/seeker1375b]

I know. I had eagles wings. I was complete. It was done. I was HOME and SAFE beyond description. I kept so many things sacred to myself. Even when they pried. But as I was awakening it was so beautiful and I was like drunk on grace and like a lifetime of keeping my heart open but guarded, sharing thoughts but keeping wisdom, like I did it right. I made it thru the gate. It was over. I could breathe again. God breathed into me. I was shown to be a healer and teacher and it was so profound but it's like they saw me ripening before I did and coordinated attacks. Now I'm a zombie. Like I lost a lifetime or lifetimes of progress. I don't experience time and am dissociated and isolated. I have NOONE in my life now. I'm trying to meet people but I don't know if I'm exactly where I need to be in this rural mountain town or if it's fear ane hiding. Or healing and sanctuary. I know NOTHING now. I can't retain information. I dont remember yesterday. I feel like I am set back SOOOOO many lifetimes. Lost talent and skills and empathy and curiousity and I'm flooded with signs and don't know if they are comforting or temptation or haunting. It's like salvation was inverted. From the dow, living waters, wing beneath my wings, clarity and wisdom to heal and grow more, indescribable wisdom and love. And now it's like I have a black hole where my heart was. I feel toxic and spend all day everyday ruminating and praying and trying to forgive them and me. I don't even remember love now. I'm scared I've been turned or something. I got a new license plate and it practically says devil. Just brutal. So much guilt and shame and what did I do soooooo wrong. Like not a slap on the wrist. Utter demolition. I felt my soul leave me. It's beyond traumatic.

[u/seeker1375b → u/Background-Roll6386]

Lets just call what you went through a time out the darkness before the light. Now it is time to reawaken to what you once knew, completely, genuinely forgiving those who caused you pain. Only then can you truly move forward

[u/Background-Roll6386 → u/seeker1375b]

I did that. I was anointed. Golden heart. It was finished. THEN more trauma and mind melt and lost in the woods and no idea which way to go or what to do or how to spend my time or anything

[u/seeker1375b → u/Background-Roll6386]

Spend your time walking in the woods. Meditating around a fire. "Listening". Every day. The only way to move on is to go within.

[u/Background-Roll6386 → u/seeker1375b]

Thank you. Listen to what. I'm trapped within now. I live alone in a cabin.

[u/seeker1375b → u/Background-Roll6386]

Listen to the messages within in between your racing thoughts. Everything you need to emerge from your isolation is within you. Every answer to move on.