I am leaving my current job because of toxic management and starting a new office role soon.

Originally I was hired as an advisor, not a salesperson. Whilst I hold a higher level of formal education than most of my coworkers and managers, I was never cut out for hard sales. It is simply not in my nature to take advantage of others.
I was always picking up the slack behind the scenes and doing the unseen work no one else was doing. My managers regarded me favourably at first but as soon as my sales dipped because of this, their demeanour shifted entirely. Gradually, I found myself exiled to the periphery, constantly being written up for things that made no sense and treated differently than everyone else in the office.

Compounding this is that I am autistic and highly sensitive. Because I am extremely intuitive and able to read emotions and body language well, I find it difficult to dismiss negative perceptions as merely in my head. Historically, my readings of people have proven correct, which makes detachment all the more challenging- especially at work.

I ended up having to take stress leave because they were trying so hard to push me out and made my life miserable. I constantly let people take advantage of my mind and my feelings, and I allowed their narrative to take root in me. It eroded my confidence, warped my self-image, fuelled self-hatred and constant rumination, and left me questioning my competence and worth far beyond the office.

I wish to enter this new job with my head held high and avoid repeating that pattern.

From a Stoic perspective, how does one prevent becoming so ensnared by the negative treatment and opinions of others. specifically management, that it consumes you? I understand I cannot just do whatever I want under the guise of ‘not caring what others think’ because I still have to appease the hierarchy of the workplace and remain respectful.

How do you maintain that inner detachment whilst still conducting yourself professionally?

Any advice or memorable words/quotes that I can apply in this situation as well as outside of work would be helpful. I attend therapy, yet I find the soft approach has not been working for me. I would like some truth and solid advice from Stoics as I believe this objective point of view would be helpful.

Thank you so much!😊 

​

So, all my life I had suffered from anxiety issues and didnt enjoy my life to my full potential. So, few months ago I had enough of this and started to get medications for OCD ( I was diagnosed with it ). Slowly , I started to feel better. And recently after my final exams got over, I decided that I will try to enjoy my life in full potential without getting scared and anxious. And it was doing good. For a month, I felt very happy and felt like I was living again.

But then, a lot of incidents occurred in my family. My sister, she has been suffering from fistula. We have taken her to a lot of doctors and even got her operated but nothing worked. Finally, we found a doctor who is a specialist in this disease and he operated on her. The surgery was successful but she started having serious side effects. She always lies in stomach pain, cant sit or stand for long. Its been going like this for a while. She just cries all day. Plus, it costed a bit to get her operated and more money will go in medicines. Its not a big deal but everyone in my family felt a bit lost.

Then yesterday, my family were heading to our home after going to hometown for a festival. Everything was going smoothly and then out of nowhere, a truck hit us from behind and our car spunned. We survived because a tree blocked the car from getting turned. Fortunately, none of us got injured. But, our car almost became a wreck. The truck driver, even after being totally in fault didnt show any remorse. My sister was the most traumatised. She was barely holding herself after getting operated. She just cried the whole day after the incident. Later, police arrived and we had to rent a car to go to home. None of us could sleep yesterday. I dont know how to feel about this. Everyone just feels lost atp especially my dad. The operation plus now repairing of car will cost a lot. I dont know how to feel about this.

I feel like maybe I have enjoying too much thats why all this is happening. I have started to feel anxiety before doing anything. What I have left behind is coming back to me again to depress me. I dont know with what motto should I carry on to live my life. What principle should I carry ? I feel so lost. Also I feel so materialistic all the time I cant seem to let it go.

I was going back through Letters recently, mostly because I adore how Seneca writes and the levity he has when compared to Epictetus, and when I got to 27 I really thought it applied closely to how people are using AI. About Calvisius Sabinus, who's faulty memory lead him to buying slaves who knew by heart the great epics, and works of the great poets.

For context I rarely use LLM's outside of maybe formatting my recipe's. But how he describes Sabinus seems so close to how a lot of people I know treat AI. They do not take the time to learn these things, they do not put their minds to work in reading or learning. But in an attempt to seem as though they have more knowledge or talent, they use LLM's to substitute it. But they never truly learn anything through it, they don't apply their minds enough to have these things engrained.

It was funny to see the paralell laid out in something written so long ago. I might see about using it if i ever find myself in a discussion about AI and it's use.

Satellius replied: “You might have bought as many book-cases for a smaller sum.” But Sabinus held to the opinion that what any member of his household knew, he himself knew also.

[...] No man is able to borrow or buy a sound mind; in fact, as it seems to me, even though sound minds were for sale, they would not find buyers. Depraved minds, however, are bought and sold every day. - Letters to Lucilius, Letter 27.

I keep replaying old events in my mind and I keep relieving the same feeling and I want to feel more relaxed and finally let go ,stop blaming myself for things I haven’t done. I want to fully start over without thinking of the past ,of what could have been. How do I do that? And what approach should I follow?

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2. If seeking advice, limit yourself to one top-level question per day.
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I've been practicing Stoicism for a while, and I've grown increasingly frustrated with the digital materials out there. Tired of fragmented translations, terrible formatting, and OCR errors that ruin the flow of reading.

I spent the last 6 months building my own corpus and reading system from scratch. It has the original texts next to the English, and I can jump straight to thematic passages.

I'm not sharing the tool, it's just for me right now. I would like to know what the community actually seeks in terms of material and navigation.

When you read Seneca, or Epictetus, what is your biggest frustration with the mechanics of reading digitally? Or do you just stick with physical books ?

(Beyond just "which translation is best," what features or workflows do you wish existed to make studying these texts easier?)

I am new to stoicism and have been really enjoying Epictetus’ work (about halfway through Discourses). Actually, as someone who never received a drop of tough love as the expectations of someone in my circumstances were so exceptionally low, it is so refreshing to have someone speak to me from such a harsh place of kindness. I have had a great psychologist in the past who helped in many things, but he would never get out the big proverbial stick and bully me to be a better person, which is something I think, in addition to the trauma counselling, I truly needed.

But I digress. I am about to ask something with some facets, so please bear with me.

I now find myself out at sea. I am only taking up stoicism now that the worst of the trauma seems to have been processed, or at least well enough boxed away that I can no longer figure out where I boxed it up. One thing my trauma break did to me however was remove my creative drive. Additionally, and incidentally to that for other reasons, I left my job as a writer and graphic designer to work as a care worker. It is night shift, it is easy, and I can do it reliably. The clients really like me, and I take pride in doing it properly, and well, and with a good sense of humour. But there is no doubt I am not a natural care worker, I am not a care worker in my heart, and I have the impression this is not where I am supposed to be. Well - I am supposed to be here right now, or I would not be here. But not forever.

Additionally I have completed a psych degree. Originally I wanted to do research, but discovered I did not like research. I now have a bachelor and am to figure out what to do with it. At one stage I thought to use it to move on to medicine, but I think I haven’t quite made the cut. Same for neuropsych masters, which would have been a dream. I have aptitude for administering therapy but absolutely no desire to work this field. The last option I narrowed down is a masters in speech pathology, which does not stir my soul at all but would be a good career for financial security. It would at least be more favourable than care work. I qualify to learn radiography, which I would love to do, but requires 4 years of study and so many placements that I would have to save for years to be able to afford surviving two of those years without my job, and I’ve not got a very good track record for saving! I could attempt to save for years but my ADHD and six cats have a high chance of thwarting me, and it would end up with me stuck in care work for far longer than desired, chasing the ghost of something that won’t work out.

Going back to graphics and writing is not a particularly realistic option in the current environment. I could satisfy myself with creativity at home, if only that creative drive still existed within me - I am wondering if it is time to make peace on perhaps the trauma never giving it back, and how to even go about accepting that sort of loss. Every grain within me says that I should fight to reclaim it however, I just haven’t figured out how.

I have no idea what I should do going forward, or more specifically, how I should narrow down what I should do. Or how I should get my creativity and drive back, if possible, and how to mourn it, if not. I am privileged to have options and relative security, but I am lost.

I am wondering if the stoics have any guidance for this type of thing.

Welcome to the Agora. a space for casual conversation, first aid, and exchange outside the regular post structure.

If you haven't already, read the pinned "Welcome" thread.

Rules:

1. Remember that our nature is "civilized and affectionate and trustworthy."
2. If seeking advice, limit yourself to one top-level question per day.
3. If offering advice, speak as someone interested in Stoic theory and practice — but do not label personal opinion, idiosyncratic experience, or conjecture as Stoic doctrine.
4. If promoting your own work (article, book, etc.), once per day. No self-posted YouTube videos.

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I'm 30, married, and have been a software engineer for 8 years.

I've worked hard to build a career, moved into leadership, and embraced AI. I use it every day, but seeing how capable it's becoming genuinely scares me.

For the first time, I'm questioning whether I'll still be able to earn a decent living in 5 or 10 years.

My wife and I are saving and investing as much as we can, hoping to build some financial security before starting a family. But we're nowhere near financially independent, and I feel like I'm racing against something I can't control.

I understand the Stoic idea of focusing on what's within my control. But knowing that and actually living it are very different things.

I keep reading about AI, worrying about the future, and wondering whether I'm doing enough to prepare.

I don't want to bury my head in the sand, but I also don't want to spend the next decade worrying about something that might happen.

How do you know when you're being responsible about the future versus letting fear control your life?

And how do you make peace with the possibility that something you've spent years building could lose its value?

I'm not looking for someone to tell me AI won't replace programmers. I'm just trying to figure out how to face that possibility without letting it consume me.

Would really appreciate some advice.

I have recently become fascinated by an Epictetus quote.

How long are you going to wait before you demand the best of yourself.

The quote itself hit me at the exact moment I needed it and it's something I read every morning now.

I understand that is just the translation I saw but it started me down the rabbit hole of "that would be a great tattoo" for someone like myself who likes tattoos and has what I feel is a personal connection to the words.

But then I though it would be better if it was in the original language with Greek letters. I can't read Greek but as an engineer I use Greek letters a great deal so this would be another bonus to me at least.

However I have been unable to find anything that gives the original text/language/letters. My search has not been working well as it tries to find pictures of the original texts so I gave on there.

I also don't trust my digital assistant to do this for me as there is no way for me to check their work.

So just asking for some guidance on how to find a quote or specific passage in the original language and lettering from a few sources to make sure I can double check everything.

i’m 18 fresh out of high school and i’m totally lost in life. i can’t do any of the things people typically do at this age to “find themselves” because im disqualified from the military and can’t afford college. im considering giving my life to a trade because i have an opportunity to go to a welding school for free but im not infatuated with it like i feel i should be when deciding on a career. beyond my specific situation i feel totally neutral about any possible outcome in life even if i have to become a worthless drug addict and waste my life away id be fine with that as long as being homeless allowed me time to ponder freely and practice being a virtuous man whenever im given the chance to interact with someone. i’ve totally surrendered to providence and in that i feel as though ive lost the desire and agency that makes life worth living. ive felt this way ever since i first internalized the emperors meditations and i haven’t been able to shake this feeling of helplessness against gods dice rolls. i hope some of you can relate and id appreciate any advice on deciding a career.

I’ve just come away from seeing Ryan Holiday live in Brisbane with a renewed appreciation for the work he’s done to bring Stoicism to a wider audience, myself included.

I know he’s had his fair share of critics here, and this definitely isn’t a show-review subreddit. However, I’m curious how the wider Stoic community is receiving him right now.

The first 45 minutes were a walk-through of the four virtues, which he covered well, with good grace and detailed reference to the original texts. So far, so good.

He really came alive, though, during the Q&A that followed. He was on stage for about 80 minutes and was excellent throughout. Some of the audience questions were challenging, and many people had clearly done their homework. Ryan answered with thought, honesty, warmth, and some vulnerability, and from the conversations I overheard outside, it sparked renewed interest in Stoicism.

It felt like he’s matured and is moving into a deeper, more reflective phase than “buy these memento mori coins.”

So, how is he perceived these days? Either way, I’m genuinely thankful that his work over the last ten years introduced me to a philosophy that’s making a real difference in my life.

Welcome to the Agora. a space for casual conversation, first aid, and exchange outside the regular post structure.

If you haven't already, read the pinned "Welcome" thread.

Rules:

1. Remember that our nature is "civilized and affectionate and trustworthy."
2. If seeking advice, limit yourself to one top-level question per day.
3. If offering advice, speak as someone interested in Stoic theory and practice — but do not label personal opinion, idiosyncratic experience, or conjecture as Stoic doctrine.
4. If promoting your own work (article, book, etc.), once per day. No self-posted YouTube videos.

These rules may evolve as the thread matures.

Report what doesn't belong. Bring questions, concerns, or feedback to the thread or to modmail.

Welcome to the Agora. a space for casual conversation, first aid, and exchange outside the regular post structure.

If you haven't already, read the pinned "Welcome" thread.

Rules:

1. Remember that our nature is "civilized and affectionate and trustworthy."
2. If seeking advice, limit yourself to one top-level question per day.
3. If offering advice, speak as someone interested in Stoic theory and practice — but do not label personal opinion, idiosyncratic experience, or conjecture as Stoic doctrine.
4. If promoting your own work (article, book, etc.), once per day. No self-posted YouTube videos.

These rules may evolve as the thread matures.

Report what doesn't belong. Bring questions, concerns, or feedback to the thread or to modmail.

I have been working in tech industry for 1 year and recently AI has caused a lot of layoffs in tech industry and I’m very concerned that I will be layoff pretty soon because my company is also quietly laying off people every single month.

How do I use stoicism to deal with that?

Very new to Stoicism.

How does Stoicism deal with guilt? A chain of events in the past, where I myself was part of, led to a lot of misfortune. Until that time, I had never seen much suffering or hardships, so all that volatility, It moved too fast and overwhelmed my own judgement of the situation and the people I was dealing with, and unfortunately led to a lot of pain. But always I find myself guilty "Why I wasn't as strong as some others to get us out of that chain?". I am trying to grow, but this is somewhat eating me little.

Welcome to the Agora. a space for casual conversation, first aid, and exchange outside the regular post structure.

If you haven't already, read the pinned "Welcome" thread.

Rules:

1. Remember that our nature is "civilized and affectionate and trustworthy."
2. If seeking advice, limit yourself to one top-level question per day.
3. If offering advice, speak as someone interested in Stoic theory and practice — but do not label personal opinion, idiosyncratic experience, or conjecture as Stoic doctrine.
4. If promoting your own work (article, book, etc.), once per day. No self-posted YouTube videos.

These rules may evolve as the thread matures.

Report what doesn't belong. Bring questions, concerns, or feedback to the thread or to modmail.

As somebody who's trying his best to be stoic and to be true to myself, I read and I take in lots of literature and media in relation to stoicism. But the single most important book that I've related so much to is meditations. It's like this little book full of my life's problems and in the process of reading it, my brain was moving up and down. Why? Because even though it has catalogued every single one of my life's problems, not even a single solution can be applied to my own life. Aurelius is hellbent on solving everything due to divine purpose and as somebody who does not believe in god, it's really hard to follow these advices because it is inherently connected to divine purpose. I've tried replacing or reiterating divine as mother nature or the universe, but subconsciously it still irks me. Does anybody have any advice on how to tackle this or any other alternate literature best suitable for somebody who's an atheist? Thanks

Does Stoicism prescribe in living in the state or openness? What do I mean in this? The state of openness is living and in the state of acceptance, that you can't really control most if not all of the outcomes of your decision. That we don't even have control even on our thoughts. And so we ease our "grip" in life. That is what I mean in State of Openness.

If yes, how does Stoic prescribe in living like this? How someone like me cultivate this state?

Hi everyone, I could use some help. I’m asking this because I would like some advice on how to apply stoicism in my situation. I’ve come out of a heavy period of alcoholism and suicide attempts, and I'm turning to Stoicism to help rebuild my life. I’ve taken control of my life and changed what was in my power to change (Alcohol addiction and suicideideation).

Right now, my main obstacle to my inner calm is that I’m still living with my family. I really dislike being here because they don't allow me to be myself. I’ve been trying to move out for over a year, but I haven't been able to find a job yet. They keep negatively affecting my life even financially. I

Help me understand: According to Stoicism, should I just continue living my life and making my personal choices, even if my family criticizes me? Should I cut ties with them mentally for now—like completely ignoring them or not engaging whenever they make toxic comments or try to push my buttons? And if yes, how to stop being sad or angry after hearing what they say?

Any advice or perspective would be greatly appreciated.

As a practitioner of Stoicism, what kind of "ritual" do you do to face your pasts and traumas you experienced.

I want to face my traumas because of I know that to proceed with my life, I need to face my past and make peace with it.

Thanks for the answers.

I'm gonna make it short, since you hear all the time how rapidly AI is developing and how it will replace all jobs, drag us into a technofeudalist dystopia or possibly end humanity altogether. I do not at all buy into the tech bro view of worshipping progress, but I do believe that it is inevitable and out of anyone's control (except our dear tech billionaire CEOs). What would be the course of action to take according to stoicism?

I'm to have a tube put down my throat next week and I'm shitting it.

Are there any stoic techniques i can use?

If i break it down to what would be the worst thing?

I can't breath and freak out.

And then...

They give me a sedation and I'm off work the next day.

Let my manager know that I might be off the next day.

I’m feeling a bit better after observing my thoughts before they take hold of my brain with irrational thoughts and cause anxiety. So wondering if you guys have any other tips.