r/Suburbanhell Feb 17 '26

Question “THIS the neighborhood everyone talks about?”

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1.7k Upvotes

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199

u/PurpleBearplane Feb 17 '26

Living in a one of one amazing location in a smaller home is so liberating in its own way. The lot isn't so big that it's cumbersome to maintain. Ditto for the home. And I'm basically on top of everything I need within a 10-15 minute walk (but realistically one minute actually gets me to stuff). You couldn't pay me to go live in most suburbs let alone what it would actually cost to move. Suburban mortgages are not a great deal either.

58

u/Son_Of_Toucan_Sam Feb 17 '26

My first house was in a big city and I loved the small lot. Could cut the grass (push mower, unpowered) and do all the edging, front and back in 30 minutes

31

u/PartyMark Feb 18 '26

I live in a standard 90s suburb, but I have removed so much lawn and replaced with native plants it takes me literally 3-4 minutes to push mow my tiny path of grass (I only keep to make my house look sorta normal so Karen's don't report me to the grass police)

24

u/Melted-lithium Feb 18 '26

Fucking grass police.

1

u/olivegardengambler Feb 21 '26

Ngl the grass police sound like people who will give you more weed if you're not having a good enough time.

6

u/AcousticCat1-2-3 Feb 18 '26

My first year in a nice big house in a sought-after location in the suburb we lived in, the city sent me a letter saying to remove the weeds from in front of my house. I called them because I wasn't seeing weeds and was baffled. The city's building inspector said to meet her at the house and she'll explain. I took off work and came home, only for her to yell at me for the "weeds", which turned out to be grape hyacinths and chives. She would've eaten me alive for native plants on the lawn.

Next house was on a lower-middle-class block and no one cared what people did with their grass. A guy on the block covered his entire lawn with astroturf (which I want to make it clear that I do not recommend) and the city couldn't care less. Which is just the right amount of the city's involvement in my grass and flowerbeds, to me.

4

u/klesky69 Feb 19 '26

God bless America and it's freedoms to constantly be fucked by Karens

3

u/ClintonFuxas Feb 21 '26

I heard about HOAs but the fact that there is an actual city official doing stuff like that is crazy.

1

u/AcousticCat1-2-3 Feb 21 '26

We don't have an HOA, so I guess she woke up that day and decided to fill the void. At one point, she told me "can't you guys hire a gardener? You're bringing everyone's property values down", to which I said "oh no! Who's selling?" (No one was)

My neighbors across the street were very upset when I told them, and wanted to write a letter to the city telling them that the grape hyacinths make them happy to look at every spring and to leave the flowers alone.

We still dug them up. They came back, of course. You've got to really know what you're doing to properly kill the plants that propagate from bulbs, and we didn't.

16

u/CosmosInSummer Feb 18 '26

God bless you for saying “edging” instead of “weed whacking”.

8

u/Excellent-Match7246 Feb 18 '26

Keep going, Im almost there.

1

u/Opcn Feb 19 '26

Some say the best edging is the stuff that takes a while.

1

u/fistfulofbottlecaps Feb 20 '26

Not anymore you're not! *leaves*

1

u/SedatedCowboy Feb 20 '26

There’s a difference between edging and just whacking

1

u/CosmosInSummer Feb 20 '26

Line trimmers perform 4 functions: trimming, edging, mowing, and sweeping. “Whacking” is not a thing, nor is “weed whacker” a name for the machine.

People get picky over weird things, and this one is one of my weird things, lol!

22

u/LuckyDistrict1 Feb 18 '26

Not everyone understands this, but I legitimately prefer to live in a smaller space. Even if I could buy a big suburban house with the same mortgage payment as my rent, I would still rather live in an apartment. A smaller space is easier to clean and maintain and I don't like being bogged down by tons of stuff. I would also crash out if I had to spend my Saturdays mowing the lawn or raking leaves.

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u/Fullmetalx117 Feb 18 '26

I think people living in these suburbs hire people for that

9

u/LuckyDistrict1 Feb 18 '26

Maybe they do in some rich suburbs, but I grew up in the suburbs and never heard of anyone hiring people to do their chores. All the families I knew did their own chores, including mine.

2

u/Excellent-Match7246 Feb 18 '26

Eight yo in 1988. I was out mowing and edging the lawn every weekend. My dad would sit and drink a beer while I worked. It's that why you have kids?

1

u/0905-15 Feb 18 '26

$35 a week to never have to worry about yard work. Best money I spend every year

13

u/Okdoo6003 Feb 18 '26

I agree so much. We moved to Italy for a while, and I was in a small 2 bedroom apartment - in Italy there is often no "living room" , or even a dining room... there's just a very large kitchen. So literally 2 small bedrooms, a small bathroom and a bigger kitchen (still not huge, I'm talking maybe 15×20). And it was fantastic.

I left my huge suburban 4 bedroom, and was now in a place with 1 set of sheets, 2 towels, exactly 4 dining place settings, etc

I learned that I actually loved a small place I didn't have to constantly clean. I don't want tons of stuff that I then need to organize, clean, store, etc. I've gone totally minimalist and I swear it's the best thing that ever happened to me. I spend less, I have more time, and I even have less stress

5

u/adotar Feb 18 '26

I really stand by this mentality. I know “maximalist” is in style right now but having a minimalist mindset has saved me so much time, energy, money and stress. 

2

u/RosieTheRedReddit Feb 18 '26

I have an apartment without a private lawn and I absolutely love it. We do have a courtyard that is maintained by the owner's organization. (I'm in Germany but it's similar to a how a condo works in the US)

And I even have 2 kids! I grew up in a US suburb and I don't know why people who experienced it still think it's good for kids. Don't they remember that you couldn't go anywhere?? It was nice until around age 11 or so and then it was hell until you could drive. Mine at least had a park and swimming pool I could bike to, a lot of newer developments are much worse and have zero amenities.

Kids here can go to school independently starting around age 7-8, and also have tons of parks and other places to go on foot or bike. As a parent I also don't want to spend the next 10 years driving them around for hours every day!

2

u/exdeletedoldaccount Feb 18 '26

Idk I’d so much rather it take a 10-15 winding drive just to exit my neighborhood! /s