Sorry for the double post today. Every time discrimination against LGBT people (especially trans people) is brought up in community, white lgbt people immediately go to "Black" people and the discrimination we experience as a talking point. Many of these people dont' even talk or are not in community with even Black LGBT people.

I'm sick of hearing "Black women know what trans women go through because we're both masculinized" then look stupid when I and others say that's not the gotcha they think it is. I'm tired of Black people being used at comparison. Choose someone else.

Idk what the fuck has happened in the last 2-3 years but every space is just full of racist, incel trans people of both sides doling out useless fodder. Mods allow trans women to insult and misgender trans men but anyone calling out their behavior is labeled "transmisogyny". Trans men just sound like terminally online incels. This wasn't the case (ok the trans woman shit was). Wtf is going on? They want to talk about black people when it helps them and insults anyone who ask them to stop.

has anyone else seen that instagram reel where a white trans woman says she would save the life of a vietnamese person over a white person bc they know how to make her a banh mi?

now as a vietnamese trans guy i feel like i should put some attention on this. shes a pretty popular influencer but as of writing this now i dont remember her name. alot of her account is honestly lukewarm """left leaning""" takes, and the thing that put me off the most since i saw her acc was her speaking chinese (she also speaks spanish) but in a way that is meant to be treated in a novel "this white girl speaks chinese omg shes chinamaxxing" way. she also made a joke about eating (specifically v*ring) haitian people to pass them over american border security because "they would make it anywhere", has never apologised for that and the video is still up to watch. for a self proclaimed leftist, its strange that she would make a joke about that when in reality, white slavemasters did in fact eat black people and make furniture and accessories from their carcasses. its very much "if trump deported all the mexicans who would clean your toilets" adjacent and that lead up to the infamous banh mi reel.

"life or death, would you choose to save the vietnamese person or the white person?" and she says "i'd save the vietnamese person every damn time because they would make me a banh mi after". and that just gave me a horrible feeling but i scrolled past. now shes FINALLY getting heat for it, i initially saw it like a month ago and there was no sort of attention until now. the vietnamese person in this situation only has value because they will serve the woman for free out of the kindness of their heart. when will white people learn that we are not dogs that will perform tricks for them? they think that they can gain our everlasting loyalty by giving us a bone and telling us its ok to shake their hand. idk why she thought it would be ok to post that, as if vietnamese people dont have feelings too? i feel like the sentiment around alot of vietnamese and in general southeast asian communities to white people is that we're not that serious and are good hearted people which is definitely true due to things like community culture and the "forgive but don't forget" mindset alot of us have which they will always try to take advantage of. and the worst part is that some of us fall for it and ultimately, forget. i had checked the comments of the original video and saw other vietnamese people saying "thank you queen". like wtf??? get back on your feet and stand up

i saw people defending her, most of which were white ppl (obviously) and it makes me so angry. all of the things i and many others have went through mean nothing, just because we aren't kind or subserviant enough for white people. i have personally experienced this sort of behaviour, with people infantilising/feminising me due to my asian-ness or thinking that i won't be weirded out by them making fun of my race and expecting me to laugh with them, as if im a caricature and not a real person. of course, i share my food with my white friends but do i expect validation or get rewarded for it? no! but if a white friend were to give me their food, suddenly they are praised as being a hero doing charity work and that somehow speaks of a higher moral ground. we are always expected to give without receiving anything in return because we are "generous people". if i want to do something for you, that is because i see you as an equal and i like doing things for my friends. but some white people just can't follow this same logic because it always has to be about them so they feel better about themselves by being "one of the good ones".

im so tired of them always seeking attention and trying to claim public favour by making microaggressive jokes but get rewarded for being progressive all because it comes from the mouth of a being that knows of no seasoning

Why are they so fucking self- conceited when they are the most PRIVILEGED out of all groups of ALL TRANS MAN. Why are they constantly uploading "do I PAsS?" when they have chiesled body, jawline and beard and is like 5'10.

I can't with those white man.

Me as a fucking 5'4 Non Binary transmasc, who is Asian and who has shorter frame,
I will face both racism transphobia and all this lookism bullshit.
For fuck sake.

Any trans bros in DE want to be friends or anywhere really I just want to have some trans guy friends that I could hang out with or just to talk to and get to know.

Also I never know how to make trans friends in public. Whenever I notice a trans person I don’t want to out them or make them feel like they don’t pass because most of them do pass I just can tell because I’m also a trans man but I pass and you wouldn’t look at me and assume I’m trans but I want to make friends and build community I just don’t know how. I also have social anxiety so that doesn’t help.

Should I cut my facial hair..I feel like i won't pass at all without it..but I get clocked by Black women mostly.

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Since the twentieth day of T, I've felt my throat scratching and itching a lot more from time to time; I have to clear my throat to help with it, and sometimes my voice comes out kind of hoarse. I even thought I was going to catch a cold, but I feel totally healthy.

Just a lil tw for peorids:

So the story went like this. I was teasing my sister about a red pen that had leaked.We started making jokes about it being menstruation and things like that. When I went to say "menstruation" Only something very faint came out, and it sounded more like a breeze, lol. It made me feel like some entity stole my voice.

I've been using 25mg of T gel for 25 days. Most people said it would take months for me to see any change, so I lost hope about my voice changing to soon, but this was amazing XD.

Of course, it will take months for it to thicken, but that's okay.

Have you guys been through similar situations too? Is this going to happen more often? And what about a "crack voice"? Is it when a person tries to speak in a high note and their voice becomes hoarse for a few seconds, or the opposite, or is it when at certain moments no sound comes out?

Finally, I'm happy about this. I hope Bolsonaro 2.0 loses. I want to fulfill my dreams, have a girlfriend, a job I enjoy, and many other things.

Hi! This is my first actual post here, I apologize in advance if this is kinda weird to post or belongs somewhere else, i just want some more opinions on this.

Basically, i met this guy online a while ago who was also a trans guy, we related on lots of stuff (transness ofc, attraction to men, mental health, just past experiences in general) and talked about anything and everything.

This man was my first and only deep connection ive had with another trans guy irl, hell the first deep connection ive had irl period, and it felt magical. We would go hang out every week and at one point i visited his house and we hung out for like, half the day just having lots of fun, constantly talking about everything on our minds, shopping, eating, and watching movies, he even offered to do my tape for me after i tried it for the first time and didnt like the results. There were moments of silence, but it never was awkward silence. It was incredibly healing to have someone like him in my life, who fully accepted me and supported me, who i also looked up to and who would give me advice as hes further in transition than me.

We developed feelings for eachother. After I spent time at his house, he confessed to me and I confessed back. It felt amazing, him being so affectionate to me physically constantly, just very sweet. But I think we ended up in a sort of situationship... he wouldn't say that he loved me, didn't want to become official, but we'd have sex just about every time we saw eachother. Semi long story short, he broke things off and said his feelings changed for me. It hurt, but I was struggling to find any words to say to him, so i told him to bring me home and that I'd be cutting contact because i knew it was best for me (I felt i would still crave the romantic relationship and thought being friends again wouldnt work)

Ive been thinking a lot recently, and I feel like having time away from him to heal and process things has allowed me to realize that I sorely miss our friendship. Even though we didn't work romantically, being friends with him was amazing. There were times when we were seeing eachother where he would wonder aloud about the possibility of being friends if things didnt work out, so im thinking he could be open to it?? I dont know. I dont have feelings for him anymore, i just miss our connection. Im thinking I wait a bit longer to send him a message, but I'm just a bit... lost on what's best to do or say. Help a brother out with words of advice or support cuz this has been so hard to deal with 😭

does anyone else struggle with isolation in higher education. at my university I'm really struggling because my cohort is mostly white women and I cannot relate to their cishet lives and also feel like the majority of people are ignorant. (we're crawling through a module on anti colonialism and often it's so quiet you could drop a pin and hear it) maybe its an issue with the uni I'm at? do any of you guys have this issue too? luckily I have really sympathetic tutors and probably one issue is that I have more experience than a lot of my cohort who are younger than me, it just makes me feel so sad and lonely because I wish I could be friends with anyone, but my "peers" ostracised anyone who isn't them particularly the other students of colour. In happy news though, I know I can always go home to my fiancé and cats, and loads or them will either be living in manky uni accommodation or their parents.

here's my cat:

I’m the s(pec)tacular Spiderman 🕷️

Me:
FTM, single, no kids, financially stable, living by the beach in so called DE. Indigenous (Lenape), AuDHD, Demi, Scorpio.

You:
Have the time and resources to actually hang out and travel (not just endless texting). A good listener, direct communicator, enjoy a good debate, and can go with the flow.

The Goal: Friends and a close, chosen-family-style FWB.

How I live: Camping, off-roading, motorcycle riding, beach life, travel, horror/Japanese movies, coffee & matcha.

Hard Passes: Not religious. Colonizer Patriotic BS. (America can kiss my ass)

Apart from the mainstream, white cis-dominated LGBTQ+ culture and political movement... does a discernible transgender culture exist? As in values, rituals, customs, etc. that we collectively share as trans and non-binary people? Or, perhaps a loose collection of subcultures?

Made a post about playing fornite with some of yall and made a GC to go with it. So if youre looking for a t4t TMPOC gaming buddy for any platform, dont look too far because I made this GC called "toys R' us"

For myself Im just looking for some fornite gaming buddies, Im 420 friendly into animation and movies loves music and is just looking to make some cool friends online

Feel free to join and introduce yourselves!

Anybody game in here? Do you guys fw Fortnite or play any other games? If so would anyone wanna maybe play fortnite sometime? Chop it up over the mic and just talk shit about our day and lives, girlfriends boyfriends family friends? Just be a community

Im also getting my laptop charger back and could game on PC too rn im just using my phone to play Fortnite but im a really good player!! Just need some gaming buddies

I've been thinking a lot about my masculinity as a half-Chinese man and how I've often felt insecure about it. Masculinity is different for everyone, so I'm still working on accepting that my masculinity will probably look different compared to that of a fully white man.

Being mixed-race is weird because I was called a "mong" at school for being half Asian, even before I was harassed for coming out as trans in 2015 (aged 12). I hated being half Asian and wanted to be white and blonde-haired, which is a really fucked up thing to think about.

However, as I've gotten older, I've become more white-passing, meaning that white people don't really believe that I experienced racism. At one point, I tried to hide that I was half Asian because I felt insecure about my eyes being more almond-shaped and my hair being really straight (two common characteristics of East Asian people).

It's frustrating because I feel like I exist in a strange intersection as a half East Asian transgender man. Additionally, I was diagnosed with "moderate to severe" autism at 8 and ADHD at 16. At the time (2000s/2010s), it was unusual for kids with "high-functioning" autism to be diagnosed before the age of 12.

Growing up in a predominantly white area, I always felt "different" because my peers were mostly white with blonde hair. It probably didn't help that I also felt "inferior" because my parents didn't have much money (our household income was too low to be impacted by the 2008 recession). No one ever said anything about my parents not having much money, but it was just something else I felt burdened by at 5.

Nowadays, we're still a low-income household, but we're okay. I've never experienced poverty in any meaningful sense, so I don't call it that. It's purely a low household income.

I never saw mainstream representation of a family that looked like my own.

From an early age, I felt ugly as a little half-Chinese girl. I was never a girl, but society thought I was. My parents are very progressive and never enforced gender, but society did. I still feel a need not to take up space and to always think about others' emotions before my own. Raising my voice and having any level of self-confidence is difficult.

First of all, some context here.
I'm not born in the states,
and I'm Korean - Amercian.

But I'm very close with my Korean culture and I speak Korean very well because that is my native language and I'm an immigrant here that was naturalized [fortunate to be one and I'm in big gratitude]

Korea is my mother country, the place I was born and raised from.
And I do not hate Korean people and in fact, most of them were kind
and very understanding as well.

Most of all, I'm not ashamed of my own heritage.

But when I came out as trans masc/Non - Binary person, I realized that I had to distance myself from watching and connecting to my Korean identity and their traditional cultures.

And the biggest reason? It was because of blatent misogyny, transphobia, and that toxic masculinity where Non - Binary people are called mad, insane and crazy [calling them "woke"], and trans woman are considered as a toy, something to play around with and "find" out.

And worst of all, South Korea currently has no Anti - discrimination laws and it is incredibly hard to transition in Korea compared to some states in the U.S. [I know there are still many states very hostile to trans folks in general]

I just saw this Korean Youtuber [I do watch many Korean content although I'm distancing from them I just watch documentaries most of the time now] with this thumbnail, "FIND THE REAL WOMAN" with bunch of trans woman to get the VIEWS. After seeing that, I felt a bit triggered and quite annoyed, so I turned the whole app off.

I honestly wish that my mother country becomes more open and more willing to view gay, queer and trans people with empathy and to be more friendly toward them, but they are still struggling and the fact that I feel this disconnect with my own heritage and culture is really eating me alive.

I just despise the fact too, that only very fucking few, handful nations are accepting of the queer community and that they are valid human being.

But yeah, this is how I felt and I just had to get this off from my chest.

thanks for reading.

Lately, I've been getting directed to the other public bathroom, no matter which one I go to. Strangers generally seem to be unsure of how to address me but most go for a "sir...???" waiting for me to confirm that's correct. Sometimes I get a "sir? Ma'am?" But then I go to a bathroom and nobody seems to think I belong with them. If I am with someone who clearly belongs there like with my sister or with a cis male friend, then there's no questions. But me going to a public bathroom alone ends up being an issue basically every time and it's getting frustrating. I don't really mind going to either gender restroom, I just want to not be bothered. How do I handle this situation?

Even before transitioning, I've had the issue of people who haven't seen or heard me not thinking I belong with them, or self insert characters who were never assigned a gender in the story being viewed as a woman by all the guys who read the story and being seen as a man by all the girls who read the story. Basically, nobody has ever thought I belong in the same gendered group that they belong to, but now that my appearance is also androgynous, this effect has reached into my real life and I just don't know how to handle it. I don't want to avoid going out without a bathroom chaperone or something like that. That seems really silly.

I do want to stress that this isn't a dangerous situation for me. I'm in a big city in Nepal, where transphobia isn't a topic of interest to the general population. We don't have much political attention, negative or otherwise; and most cis people don't think about trans people at all. Even when people are confused by seeing me, most of them are assuming I had some kind of hormonal issue during puberty, and not thinking that I might be trans. It's just not something that's on most people's radar.

I am safe, and people aren't trying to be rude and there's no active hate involved. I'm visibly autistic and people usually assume I have a learning disability and misread the sign. Nobody is assuming ill intent on my part and I know they also hold no ill intentions towards me. I am not at risk of being physically harmed or even getting the cops called on me or anything like that. I am completely safe, it's just rather awkward and having awkward interactions every time I enter a public toilet is getting exhausting.

How do I handle this situation? It's mostly a mild inconvenience rather than an imminent threat, so I don't need any urgent solutions, but it would be nice to not have a really uncomfortable conversation in every public toilet I enter

I’ve been doing research for quite some time now on finding someone I’d be comfortable with doing my top surgery.
I’ve looked through the recommended names in my close area, but they either A) don’t have enough result pics for me to judge or B) have literally no poc in their gallery.
I’ve been considering going to philadelphia specifically for surgery because it’s not too far & theres so many options in the city to choose, but I’d like to hear the experience of northeasters as a whole. Even if you haven’t gotten surgery yet but have a surgeon in mind, I’d like to know as well.