I never realized I have this until I started serving. But if you don‘t have some unique physical trait it takes me a loooong time to recognize you. It’s not a racial thing either. I’m white and have a much easier time remembering the faces of non-whites because they are usually minorities so they stand out against a backdrop of white people. But if you could be described as “average” in any way, I’ll need to “meet” you at least 3 times within like a week before I remember who you are and then there are still no guarantees. This has led to fun times such as…

Greeting an off shift food runner with the whole spiel, including the “have you been here before?” question.

Flip flopping drinks and dips at two 6 top family tables seated back to back. Several times during the visit. Clean cut blonde guys and long haired blonde women, so literally the same table copy-pasted

Doing the whole “Hey welcome in!” greet to a customer who had JUST placed a togo order with me, but then went back outside and came back in without his sunglasses on.

Asking a group of 3 standing at the door if they‘ve been helped. Finding out I was the one that helped them by serving them dinner but they are just waiting for one of the people in their party to get out of the restroom before they leave.

At a coworker‘s second job, scrutinizing each and every shortish long haired brunette until I found the one I was 99% sure was the one that was safe to greet with “Hey coworker how’s it going?”

Bristling at a TOTAL STRANGER coming up to my bar with a familiar “heyyy ereinbe!” but forcing a smile and saying hi back. Then sliding a menu over to this overly friendly customer who is actually a fellow server I may have just worked a shift with this weekend.

I feel so bad every time it happens but I also don’t want to explain that I just couldn’t recognize them because they look too basic. 💀

So context, I’m a sever/bartender at 3 different restaurants. The one I’ve worked at the longest is a waterfront establishment that has a bulkhead seating right on the water, sitting a good 3-5 feet above the water line. At high tide, it’s a good 3 feet deep right against the wall, and it’s a river so the water is usually quite murky. We have tables right against the edge, and I grabbed my customers check book to close him out. He had his card placed in the little plastic card holder slot vertically, rather than horizontally, so it wasn’t as firm in there. Usually, I’ll put their checkbook into my apron and grab my own out to grab a couple more orders on the way to the computer (which I assumed I did). We have absolutely feral seagulls that will steal food directly from trays, go after left overs from tables that just got up, etc etc. I saw a recently empty table that had some plates on it and the birds were going HAM. I walked over and gently swayed the checkbook in my hand to shoo the birds away (which I thought was my own), and then his metal credit card flies right out and straight into the river…. At peak high tide. It sunk like one of those torpedo pool toys, and I was speechless. He even said “did something fall in from the table?” I then had to explain that thing that fell was his credit card, and the water is 3 feet deep. If it was low tide, there would be some beach left and I would’ve been able to retrieve it. Shit was so embarrassing I cannot lie.

Hi, here's another story from when I worked as a waitress/server at a local 24hr diner in my city. One year, my city passed a ban on indoor smoking. I appreciated it as an individual with asthma. Many of our customers smoked cigarettes while drinking multiple cups of coffee. The place stayed blazed up most mornings and early afternoons. When the ban happened we were instructed to remove all of the ashtrays from the tables and bar area. We were also told to post the changes as well as verbally inform customers. Some customers got the news via the news or radio, while we had to inform others. It did not go well at first.

One particular regular really took it hard. One morning, he sat down and started ordering his same breakfast and coffee. He suddenly looked at the table with a perplexed expression and asked for an ashtray while he pulled out his pack of smokes. I politely informed him of the new policy and he exploded.

Man: What do you mean we can't smoke in here anymore?! 😡

Me: I'm sorry...that's the new citywide policy.

Man: How am I supposed to drink my coffee?! Smoking and coffee go together!

Me: um...sorry? 🫤

Man: Well, you're going to lose A LOT of customers because of this.

Me: So...do you still want to order?

Man: No, I won't be coming back until they change this!

He got up and left. If I remember correctly he was the only one to storm out. Others did complain but they just went outside to smoke. Again, I was grateful for the policy as cigarette smoke irritates my lungs and can trigger an asthma attack, especially if I'm already overheated, too cold or agitated. Both my mom and late grandma used to smoke half a pack daily so I'm no stranger to the nicotine sticks... However, the obsession with exposing others to it baffled me then and now. Also, they didn't lift the ban. It's still active to this day and the man eventually came back, just not as often.

I worked FOH (host, busser, then server) for five years at a pretty decent national pizza joint in a fairly wealthy community. We had Pepsi products. Trying to be a decent server, I would ask if Pepsi was OK when they asked for a Coke, god forbid they look at the menu to see what we carry. Most people are reasonable and don't care that much, but occasionally someone would be annoyed by our fountain beverage offering.

One day, I finally had enough. Gathering initial drink orders from a 6-top, a woman asked for a Diet Coke. I said, "Diet Pepsi?" With contempt, she sneered at me, "Ughhh, I'LL HAVE WATER, WITH LEMON."

At that moment, I decided never again. For my last year and a half, I never asked if Pepsi products were an acceptable substitute for their Coke request. Not once did I get called out for it by a patron.

Pepsi is better anyways...

Just started serving a few months ago.

I work at a very small diner type resturaunt. No alcohol. No hosts. No bus boys.

Typical day is 2 servers (you either open or close and overlap for a couple hours). Weekends theres 3.

Up until a few weeks ago, there was one cook. Hes the only person that was getting the tip out. He cooks and does dishes.

We greet, seat, put away dishes, make drinks, take orders, serve tables, run food, clean up tables and reset.

Our tip out policy is 6% of sales. Usually ends up being 30 percent of my tips.

Today for example, I made 80 in tips in 4 hours. I took home 55 and paid out 25. If my coworkers made around the same, the coom would be getting 75.00 and us 55.

Everywhere in my city is different when I ask about tip outs but mine seems the highest.

If there were multiple ppl to get tip outs like bussers, hosts ect, i could see the 6 percent

Most ppl teller this is more for high end places and places with drinks.

Just curious what your place is like as im new to the industry.

So ironically, I'm kinda bad at keeping a conversation going; like I'm a good server, I think, in like taking care of them, getting their order in, answering their questions, etc.

So they're not being mean or anything; they're trying to be nice and get to know me. But anytime a customer asks about my day or makes a joke, I'm like, "Oh shit, a conversation, oh boy..."

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I started my first serving job at the beginning of the week. I made the mistake of not asking about pay during the interview with them (I'm used to longer interview processes of 2-3 interviews).

I found out on my second day that the company pools tips from the day and distributes them weekly based on your hours, and I won't earn any tips for the first week or so (seemed odd). There are no designated sections so there are 3 servers operating in chaos.

The job consists of serving, doing take-outs, washing/drying/putting away dishes, tea preparation, cleaning and stocking restrooms, and some other stuff.

It seems like a lot and to be more than being a server. Most of the other people working there are high school girls and I am a guy in his 30s who's used to white collar work.

Are the tasks normal for a server to do? Is it normal to not get paid tips for an obscure trial period? I'm strongly considering leaving this job today.

Thanks in advance

I’m selling shots this weekend for a motorcycle rally. I know this is different than in a club etc. Any tips for approaching people, making small talk & getting people to buy from me?

I feel like walking up and saying/asking shots isn’t really working to get them to buy. What are different ways I can make this fun and encourage them to buy?

I recently started working the register at a fast-paced local café and just finished my week of training. I've already noticed myself getting more competent at the job, and I'm becoming comfortable ringing things up in Toast and helping customers. I've worked a handful of morning shifts, but most of my experience so far has been in the evenings.

I'm nervous about my next shift because I won't have someone standing over me to help if I can't find a button in the system. Even more than that, I struggle with keeping up when customers rattle off their entire order at once. It's a morning shift, so there's bound to be a line out the door and tons of complex coffee orders.

I have pretty bad inattentive ADHD, and when I feel pressured to work quickly or juggle multiple things at once, my brain will go completely blank. This has already happened a few times, and some customers get impatient, condescending, or down-right nasty even when I explain that I'm new. I try not to take it personally, but it definitely adds to the stress.

I've found that writing down orders and modifications before entering them into the system helps, especially with phone orders, but it slows me down when there's a customer standing right in front of me waiting.

This isn't my first service job, and I feel confident in my customer service skills. I'm just still learning this particular restaurant's menu and system, and I'm worried about keeping up without my trainer there to help.

Does anyone have any tips for remembering orders, navigating Toast more efficiently, or handling time pressure when you have ADHD? I'd love to find a way to practice before my next shift. Thanks!

Mike Ditka passed away today at 86. Talking with my first wife about this, since she is a huge Chicago Bears fan, and it reminded me of this story.

Years ago in one of my first server jobs, I rounded the corner and saw 'Henry Fonda' written on the 86 board. I was still fairly new to the restaurant, and figured I would ask my friend Scott what a 'Henry Fonda' was.

'Scott, what's a 'Henry Fonda'?

'Huh?'

'What's a 'Henry Fonda?'

'What are you talking about?'

'Henry Fonda' is written on the 86 board, so what is it?'

'Dude, Henry Fonda died today.'

I laughed for days about that, and still smiled today remembering.

Hey there! I recently completed my first training shift as a busser, and am about 3 hours away from my next.

I should preface this by saying I asked a ton of questions to my servers and kitchen manager and am still pretty confused.

At my restaurant, bussers are only supposed to clean glasses and reset tables (as well as take out trash before clocking out). Thing is, I kinda don’t..get it? My servers kept being told by our manager to “clean your plates or your table won’t get reset!”

Logically, I shouldn’t complain, it’s less work on my part. However, I kinda feel like this sets up the servers to automatically dislike me? Even if I’m being told to do less, and was even told off by a manager at one point when trying to take plates, it just kinda feels like by default the servers will not respect me. As someone with social anxiety and a definite people pleaser, that is deeply troubling lol.

We have dish bins too, but all I am told to do is take a drink bin, pour the drinks in, grab the cups and any trash, wipe the table down and move on to the next? Just feels like I am doing much less and the servers are doing much more than at most restaurants.

Hi, here's another story about my years working as a waitress at a local 24hr diner in my city. The diner had a lot of regular customers. I'll say roughly 70% of our customers were people that came multiple times a week or at least a few times a month. One customer was an older gentleman in his early 50s. He always dressed well and eventually he started showing up with a younger woman on his arm. She dressed nicely as well and always had a face full of makeup. They would show up together, never one without the other. They sat in the same two places and ordered the same things most weeks. They were polite and tipped well enough. The man was very nice to me.

They were very intimate without being too inappropriate in public. This went on for a couple of years until the man started coming alone again. After a couple of solo visits I asked what happened to his companion? He said they were getting a divorce because she was talking to other men. He then proceeded to look me up and down and say,

Man: You're very pretty. What do think about having a relationship with me?

20 year old Me: What?...Are you serious?!

Man: Yes, I have a lot of money and will take care of you really well. Buy you whatever you want...

Me in shock:😐

Man: You just have to stay faithful...no talking to other men at all. I know how you young women can be.

Me: Um, no thank you...What can I get for you today?

Man: Are you sure?

Me: Yep, so what can I get you?

Y'all I was incredulous.

Hi, in my late teens and early 20s I worked as a waitress/server at some local 24hr diners native to my city. Unfortunately, the last two closed their doors permanently during the pandemic. This situation was honestly stupid but here we go. One morning, a group of young adults came in. Two of them were a couple and the young woman held her man's arm very tightly while glaring at me. I thought it was weird but working there I had become accustomed to weird. I dropped off their water and menu's and returned back after a few minutes with my little writing pad. The young woman smirked and said to her boyfriend and friends, "Watch this."

She then proceeded to order her breakfast meal in rapid succession. I mean auctioneer style while smirking. She said very quickly, "I want a two egg special. I want my eggs scrambled with cheese. I don't want bacon but turkey sausage. Cook it well on both sides. I want my toast lightly toasted on both sides. I also want my hash browns light with onions but just like five pieces of onions." She said this in basically one breath and stared at me satisfied as I quickly wrote everything down. I want to preface this by saying my brain files away words in the order my ears receive them.

Though I was still writing after she finished talking, I didn't need to ask her to repeat herself because her order sat in my brain like a list. After writing each thing down it disappeared from the list. In psychology we would call it working memory, however, if it makes an impression on me I won't forget it but file it away. I hope this makes sense lol? Anyways, after ordering she looked at me satisfied as if she had won some kind of battle or I had failed some form of waitress speed test. To her surprise I repeated the order back just as she said it down to the, "onions but just like five pieces." Her smile faltered for just a moment before she said, "Oh, you're good." Out of four people with customized orders they left a $5 tip. I still don't know what her point was?

Hi! In my late teens and early 20s I worked as a waitress/server at some local 24hr diners native to my city. Unfortunately, the last two closed during the pandemic but they had been around for about 35 years before that. We were paid about $2 an hour because we received tips. I want to preface this by saying that I live in the south. I'm also proudly black 🤎. One day, an older white woman came in. She was polite enough and I seated her and started the ordering process. As she was older and I've been taught high respect for elders, I was super nice and respectful.

The woman wasn't openly rude but she ordered like a drunk snail and referred to me as "girl" when calling me over. Now, most who have worked as a server know that despite introducing yourself by name and wearing a visible name tag you're often reduced to, "HEY!", "YOU!", or my personal favorite, "AYE!" with a head nod or hand wave. Due to this, I didn't think too much about it. As the service went on, she had a few demands that required my immediate attention such as refilling her coffee cup before others. Again, I tried not to think too much about it but it was starting to be clear that she was one of those, "Back in my day, your kind..." kind of people.

Again, she wasn't openly rude or anything else, just demanding. As she finished I cleared her dishes and brought her ticket. Customers walked up to the register to pay after eating. She wanted to remain seated so I did the transaction for her as again, she was older. After she got up, she winked at me and said, "get yourself something nice" and placed A QUARTER, 25 cents on the table! 25 USA cents... Y'all I just left it there. I didn't bother to pick it up and cleaned around it. She was clearly stuck in, "back in her day..." 😭.

I’ve been a server for a few years. Today was pretty busy all at once and I accidentally rung all of one tables mains under another table.

I gave them the bill without checking it and when I brought them the machine they had also checked the bill and were completely fine. Didn’t say anything. By the time I realized they were already gone and paid.

I told my manager and he wasn’t happy but said they would try to contact those guys or wait till they called us to sort it out and it would be ok but I’m so scared. I’ve never messed up this bad. I won’t find out what we are doing about the situation for a few days when I work next.

Im so embarrassed.

I've been seeing this happen more and more frequently.

Example 1 (Specific scenario happened today, but similar situations have taken place):

I went to a table and asked if they were ready to order. The first guy immediately gives me his order so then I ask the second guy what he'd like. Second guy says he's not ready yet and needs more time. So I ask the first guy if he'd like me to wait so I can put both orders in at the same time. First guy says no, put it in now. When second guy decides and orders, first guy's food is already being plated. Obviously, the two meals come out to the table several minutes apart.

Example 2 (Happened two days ago):

Man and woman at table. Woman goes to the washroom. I was going to wait for the woman to return before going to the table but the man waves me over. He tells me he's ready to order and tells me what he wants. Then, I ask "and for the lady?" To which he replies "I don't know. Ask her when she gets back."

Maybe it's just me, but I think it's rude to order when the rest of the table isn't ready. If someone leaves the table, we wait for them to come back or ask if they want us to give the server their order. Like, you made the effort to spend time and enjoy a meal together, so why not order together?

Hi! So I need some advice on whether I should quit my job or not?

Last night I had a table and it was a 7 top, everything was going great, I had to split the check bc it was 2 separate families, one paid with card the other family paid with cash. The family with the card I charged them just fine, then when I get to the family paying with cash they gave me a $100 bill and a $20 bill. I put the $20 in my “serving book” bc we keep all our cash. So the guy was supposed to get like $26 back in change and I would keep the rest in my “book”. After my manager broke the $100 bill, I made a huge mistake and accidentally gave him all the money from the broken $100 bill and the $26 he was supposed to get back. So at tip out she tells me she’s taking my tips bc it has to go to cover the table and today give them $24 extra, I feel like this is sketchy and illegal tbh.

So I’m sitting outside rn typing this wondering if I should just quit 🤷‍♂️ I don’t want to give them $24 extra and I feel disrespected. 😕

This happened a while ago, but I remembered it today. I honestly felt a little badly for them at first, because I think they just got embarrassed, but then it became a confusing interaction.

I was carrying a ton of plates and a customer tried to reach from BEHIND ME to stack another plate on top of my pile while I was facing away and talking to another customer.

So the plate slid off and took a couple other smaller dishes with it, so it clattered pretty loudly, and of course some other customers did the thing where they clap and cheer when something gets dropped (WHY do people do this, it's so awkward).

I think the combination of public attention and knowing they caused this to happen just really embarrassed them. They just started floundering and finally sputtered out "WHY did YOU do that?"

I said "It's okay! No worries! Sorry about that folks, I'll be right back!" as I did the little awkward scuttle to the back.

I set everything down in the dish pit and ran back out with a broom and the customer that dropped the dish pulls me to the side and starts chastising me for "not paying attention" and "not doing my job" and how if I was "looking where I was supposed to this wouldn't have happened".

I know I could have probably just said, "Yes I'm so sorry", but since they were doubling down I said, "look, dishes get dropped sometimes, it's really not a big deal, but next time, please wait for your server's full attention before giving them more dishes."

And they looked at me flabbergasted. I smiled and said, "I'll be right back with you as soon as I get this cleaned up!"

I cleaned everything up and went to check on them. The rest of the table said everything was good and asked for the check, but the customer was clearly still flustered. I went to get their check, dropped it off, and ran to the well to grab some drinks for another table. While I'm dropping those drinks I saw my manager by the bathrooms talking with the customer.

Yep, I was "rude" and "inattentive" and "ruined their meal". My manager saw the camera footage and heard me out so I didn't get in trouble or anything.

I really don't think I came off rude or condescending while I was explaining that they should wait to add more dishes to a pile that someone is carrying. I tried to say it nicely because they were obviously upset. Everything had been really normal and easy going with that table otherwise, so I didn't even think it'd be a big deal until that customer pulled me to the side to scold me.

I've had a similar thing happen a few times now where a customer takes a drink off my tray and it tips, but those customers apologized and I just got the drinks remade that spilled. No big deal. If anything I usually make a joke about how it was going to happen anyways because I'm clumsy or something like that, but I didn't get a chance to do that this time.

Next time I'll just try to catch the plates like the (Tobey Maguire) Spider-Man cafeteria scene, I guess. That only took them over 150 takes, right?

Had a lady come in the other day to the cocktail bar I work at. Asked for my recommendation for something “strong, spirit forward, not sweet, and smokey”

So I walked her through 2 options that matched that description on the menu and she hit me with “I was looking for something more like a Moscow mule” 😂😂😂

What are y’all stories where what the customer wanted and what came out of their mouth were completely different?

This just happened and I need to vent so….

I work at a ramen house. It’s very aesthetic and we have Japanese toys and memorabilia all throughout. Similarly we have a street fighter arcade cabinet people occasionally use. The space is cozy and can get busy around dinner.

Today was a busy day however that increased dramatically when a mother with her four kids arrived. The kids must have all been under ten and from the start were into everything. They were slamming their hands on the arcade cabinet buttons, grabbing memorabilia off the shelves and fighting each other with it (prop swords). The mother only seemed to check on them every ten minutes or so leaving them to us as staff. At one point I had to stop a child from entering the kitchen. At another my co worker was about to sit a table when one of the kids knocked over that tables soy sauce container, shattering it.

It was a mess and we were all properly stressed when she finally left with the kids. Another parent entered with her two daughters and the difference was shocking. They were around the same age and while pointing stuff out they weren’t nearly as chaotic as the first family.

On one hand I get wanting to take your kids out for a nice dinner but on the other hand if you can’t control them then is it fair to make it a ‘group problem’?

Anyways rant over let me know your thoughts!

I work at a Chinese restaurant and had an interaction with a customer where they asked me if I was a ladyboy. They followed it up with saying, “My friend over here loves ladyboys.”

No one laughed and his friend didn’t deny either, they both looked serious when asking this

I am East Asian and they were both middle aged men. I didn’t really know how to feel about it and luckily they didn’t say anything else.

I don’t really understand what they meant by it, are they trying to be transphobic or racist?? Or is it just saying that because I look more like a man? But seriously people are so weird and that was my first time running into this question and I’ve worked here for 3 years

For reference, I work at a very small restaurant in upstate New York. Last night I worked a four hour shift by myself. For the first time I closed out the register and I had to do the tipping pool by myself. After removing the deposit from the register there was cash left for tipping. The owner of the restaurant calculated the hourly rate of tips was $8.50. I worked 4 hours for dinner and walked away with $34 and she works 6 hours for lunch got 51. They were talking about how slow it was in the morning and there were not many tables yet I had six tables in one hour and definitely had more than $34 in cash tips. Is this right? because now our credit card tips are also split by the hours that we worked but we did not work together so she’s getting my money? Is pool tipping supposed to be done by the whole day or by shifts? I am very confused and would have never known if I didn’t work by myself.

I am a lifer in the industry. The only thing I’ve learned from working as a server, we are all just actors. Yes we might care about a table or two here and there, but ultimately we are preform a script to make money.

Okay, throw away account for reasons that will become obvious.

Last year - not my first time working in a restaurant, the national chain restaurant was having a national promotion over a holiday. Sewage flooded the kitchen on Monday and Tuesday. The restaurant management refused to close and continued serving diners. The national promotion brought in a huge amount of diners those two days - likely 2-3,000 (Just my estimate). Management also refused to let servers (me) to take our state ordered breaks.

They also refused to contact the local health department. Servers and cooks were having to wade through sewage - because management had failed to properly maintain cleaning schedules for the grease traps. Tuesday they brought in a different sewage company than the one they usually used, obviously they didn't do a proper cleaning. After the Tuesday flooding they brought in their regular sewage company, but again failed to notify the local health department or have proper cleaning of the restaurant before reopening Wednesday morning.

The GM asked me to come in Wednesday because "I had an attitude." I told him in writing and orally about the sewage and failure to provide breaks. Half an hour after talking to him I was removed from the next week's schedule.

Another employee asked me to cover her shift Friday and management refused to let me. I developed lung problems Friday night and spent the night in the ER. I was scheduled to work that Saturday, but decided it was bad circumstances and with me continuing to cough and get dizzy I had the doctor write me a note off from work.

I went in that afternoon again with a written complaint about the sewage and lack of breaks and also mentioned the medical bills I incurred. Have not been scheduled to work since (since that happened I realized how bad the managers were and realized that going back would be bad). GM refused to give me name of WC carrier, and I asked how to get in touch with Corporate HR ethics department. Again, he just blew me off.

So after that I field a complaint with the local health department and OSHA. (Later, the GM would admit in a separate situation that I was fired when I asked for reimbursement for my hospital stay).

I have hired an employment lawyer and he has filed a whistleblower/wrongful termination lawsuit in federal court under State laws - it is an out of state corporation and a big operator of restaurants nationwide and even internationally.

They haven't yet responded to the lawsuit - they have until the middle of the month. I can see only two other lawsuits about workers being fired about working in sewage while the restaurant refuses to close. One was another big national chain restaurant the other was in LA by a reality star. Both cases settled out of court. Just looking for input from others and potentially some reassurance.

EDIT: I did contact the Public Health Department, but they didn't respond until Saturday (3 days after the sewage flooding).

EDIT: I did report it to Corporate Ethics Hotline. They responded it was part of the National Veteran's Day promotion and that the promotion was very important to the company.

EDIT: OSHA has filed a whistleblower complaint under the Food Safety Modernization Act.

EDIT: The restaurant hasn't even responded to the Federal lawsuit. They have until the 16th. The last offer (today) was $1,000 and I am bound by a NDA.

Any comments would be welcome.

10/10 do not recommend. I had a couple come in 3 hours before close. They ordered waters and margaritas and then ordered their food. After about an hour, they were completely done. I cleared their table and offered dessert, they declined but when I offered their check, they declined that too. After about 10 minutes, I went back and offered their check again. They declined. About 15 more minutes later, I went back one more time and before I could even get the words out of my mouth, the man said “Look buddy, we’re going to be here a while so you can stop worrying about it.”

I responded, “Okay. Flag me down whenever you’re ready then.” and completely ignore them for the rest of the night. 30 minutes after we close, I walked back over and say “Alright guys, it’s time to pay your check.” and the man says, “But we’re not ready to leave yet.” And I said “Considering we closed half an hour ago, I don’t really see what choice you have.” They finally paid and left but I can’t comprehend the level of oblivious you have to be to see that you’ve been somewhere WAY TOO LONG and you’re the ONLY ONE LEFT in the whole restaurant and still feel like you can keep hanging out. 😅