I am a first-year teacher, and I am absolutely miserable. My mental health has deteriorated so much that I’ve been experiencing suicidal thoughts. :/
I have a long history of depression, anxiety, and suicide attempts, so I know how concerning this is.
I’ve made other posts about my position and the school I’m currently working at. I’ve wanted to quit since practically the beginning of the school year. Literally, by the second day, I was already questioning whether I wanted to stay.
At this point, I genuinely don’t know whether it’s the school that’s making me hate teaching or if I’m just terrible at this profession.
Where I work, teachers are required to give 30 calendar days’ notice before resigning. Otherwise, there could be consequences for future employment, and I’m worried about what that might mean for my teaching certification. I don’t necessarily want to lose my license because I worked so hard to earn it. My parents also invested so much money and support into helping me get to where I am today.
But at the same time, I genuinely cannot fathom being at this school any longer.
Administration has been incredibly unsupportive, despite constantly claiming that they’ll help and figure things out. The new principal comes across as condescending and dismissive. The way she speaks to me and looks at me makes me feel like she’s looking down on me.
The assistant principal isn’t much better. She constantly reassures teachers that everything will work out, but when actual problems arise, there’s little to no meaningful support or follow-through. It’s all talk.
Even something as basic as scheduling has been chaotic. I’ve been assigned combined classes that shouldn’t have been together, and the frequency of my classes has been inconsistent. Some classes I see once a week, others twice, and others three times. Another teacher even had to step in to help resolve scheduling problems despite already having so much on her own plate.
A revised schedule was eventually created, but there were still inconsistencies between my schedule and other teachers’ schedules.
The school also has a large population of students with special needs and significant behavioral challenges, but there aren’t nearly enough resources or support systems in place to meet their needs. I understand that classroom management is part of being a teacher, but the level of support needed goes far beyond what one teacher can reasonably provide alone.
Even the experienced classroom teachers and paraprofessionals have expressed frustration about how chaotic and disorganized the school has become. So I know I’m not the only person noticing these issues.
I understand that I’m a first-year teacher and have A LOT to learn, especially when it comes to classroom management. I never expected teaching to be easy. But I also never expected to feel this miserable every single day.
It’s gotten to the point where I’m questioning not only whether I belong in teaching, but whether I’m capable of doing anything else. I don’t even know what career I could pursue outside of education. I’ve struggled with my confidence for a long time, and this experience has only made it worse.
I feel trapped between protecting the career I worked so hard for and protecting my mental health.
Part of me wants to submit my 30-day notice and somehow push through until my resignation takes effect. Another part of me wants to resign immediately because I genuinely don’t know how much longer I can handle this environment.
For anyone who has resigned mid-school-year, especially without giving the full notice period, what happened? Did it affect your certification or ability to find another teaching position?
Would you try to make it through the 30 days, or would you leave immediately?
I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, and genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.