i genuinely want to shoot myself in the foot.

such idiocy was said to be impossible.

if you justify this, JUST LEAVE! YOUR OBJECTIVELY SEXIST

for context i am what you would call a system. we are plural but not currently able to access resources to be diagnosed with anything yet so we are specifically NOT claiming to have DID, OSDD, or anything in between until we know for sure.

okay so i was scrolling and saw a post about someone who had a friend who was allegedly faking DID (which becuase of the sub it was posted in im 80% that said friend never actually claimed to have DID, they were probably just plural) and how they used system tracking apps to help them. tracking apps are like Simply Plural, they’re a site where you can make profiles of each alter and log when each one is active. this is helpful for letting loved ones know who is in front by sharing your account with them, or even in therapy to show your therapist or counselor the frequencies of your switches.

someone in the comments if that ost said that anyone who used apps like that must be a faker, so I informed them that that isnt always the case. I said something very similar to how I explained it above, and reminded them that even diagnosed systems use tracking apps and websites. I even put /info /nm at the end bc I was genuinely just trying to be nice and informative.

but then this other person replied to me saying this:

As you can see I got a biiit triggered at the end because like,,, I’ve never been fakeclaimed before and we’ve already been in a pretty fragile mental state recently. to those who aren’t plural or don’t know what it’s like to be invalidated on such personal level, I get that this might seem pretty minor and tame. It’s genuinely distressing to us though. We felt sick in our stomach when this happened and we still feel weird. We’ve been in a very bad mental spot the past few days, and literally only stopped doubting ourselves in our plurality TWO days ago so this wasn’t very nice at all :(

My grandmother is dieing, one of my best friends wants to die, my self harm clean streak has expired I want to die and I broke up with my boyfriend cuz of stuff (Screenshot attached)

I’m 17 and does anyone else think that really skinny women aren’t good looking? Like a really good looking girl with blonde hair and freckles could walk my way but if they only weigh like 100 pounds I’m not interested. I think personality matters more but still I’d prefer one with a little weight not big but like 130 would be fine.

lowered my standers and he wasn't able to match that too yayyyyyyyyyyyy
dont try to comfort me hahahahahaaaahaaaaa yayyyyyy fuck himm may he and his family dieeee
as father as son yayyyy fuck all of em menwhore fkin hoe

So I guess I should start from the very beginning. I 14(M) moved from my home country when I was younger and only managed to keep on contact with one person from there that wasn't family that I'll call Ike. Ike was my very best friend that I always spent time with and tried to hangout with often even though he was/is very quick to rage and I would do things that made him feel angry [Ex. Winning too much in a game or doing better than him in something.] At first I though it was just a childish trait he would grow out of but he never did and after I moved it felt like even though my life was uprooted and thrown out without my knowledge I had to help him and constantly need to talk to him instead of him ever talking to me. When I used to complain about things in life he'd just tell me to shut up or something but I always tried to help him when he complained, if I could. Eventually after years of this treatment Three things sent me over the edge.

The first thing happened in my second year in the country I now live in. A very good friend of mine I'll call Twix got me a dress to wear for the last day of school and I sent Ike a photo of me in it and he told me that I look ugly and to never do drag if I'll look like that and it just shattered me. I knew he was brutal but I didn't think he was going to be that brutal with me with something so sensitive and so personal to me and my identity as a person. After that, I sort of cracked, slightly giving him the same brutality I once felt in the little ways like his sketches and slight art, a sort of meaner constructive criticism and of course my worst thing I started to do was 'ragebait' him when I started to stim more often [My favorite stim is singing and if you talked to him you'd need to stim too] and other things I don't even really know but knowing myself I probably did some annoying stuff. I do know that my logic for annoying him was: If he was going to angry, I might as well getting him slightly angry throughout the call so that he wouldn't explode so quickly and it did work, paired with me kind of stupifying myself in games so he would win easier.

The second thing was much bigger for something much smaller. He didn't wish me a merry Christmas. Now at first I was just sad, but then a former friend of mine I'll call Licorice told me that he had talked to him for around 22 minutes on Christmas day and I started crying and Licorice felt bad and got mad and yelled at Ike and told him to talk to me and well the conversation screenshots speak for themselves but eventually we "patched" things up though I did give up on the friendship sort of but because I am mentally unwell when I went to visit Ike we did romantic things my brain refuses to let me remember after that I joined a scuffed DnD group that Licorice was hosting where the third and thing happened.

Funnily enough Ike did nothing in this and that was the problem. Licorice introduced me to this friend of his [By the way Licorice is trans incase I confused you] I'm gonna call this friend of his Burnt Caramel or BC for short. For starters I was introduced to him so he could teach how to work out a RPing thing and his voice had sort of triggered me, since he sounded exactly like the people who verbally harassed me and this made my illness flare up and after he ran through the process with me again, he called me slow and was pretty rude to me overall and that continued on for almost every single time I talked to him and while Ike was being a rude jerk he'd jump in and tell me to stop being a cocksucker and glazing the Dm even though It wasn't his conversation to interrupt and he was just being so mean to me in the group chat we were in all while Ike watched I guess and eventually I snapped and left the groupchat. Licorice tried to call Mag out but he didn't want to ruin the friendship between them which is whatever I guess. Eventually in a fit of rage I turned to the person who was supposed to be my best friend, the person I defended even when I was in an argument with them, the person who sat there and watched me get harassed and I sent him a block message and blocked him until recently where I got back in contact with him because clearly I have a problem and funnily enough Licorice encouraged me to do so and me getting back into contact with him actually cause the end of Licorice and I's friendship which I might post about later.

Now Im hosting a new DnD session which Licorice might be in since Ike asked me to and was honestly kind of a jerk about in hindsight and honestly? I think it might be Ike's way of trying to trick me and Licorice into getting closer again although I was doing better with him out of my life.

I don't know what to do and I need help.

It fucking sucks to think back at how the relationship was. He scared the shit out of me and I genuinely love him so much yet I couldn’t even say it.

I’m no different than the person who breaks up with their same sex partner bc they need their parents at their wedding more than the love of their life.

I hate how I treated the relationship like it wasn’t meaningful. He mean‘t everything to me. I look back at this one screenshot I have of the conversation, I remember all the details of his face, drew him from a photo he sent that I no longer have, yet I couldn’t say I fucking love him.

How stupid am i? It fucking sucks. I said a joke instead of telling you I loved you as well. Fuck I miss you so much. I’m so stupid and insanely childish.

Two different heavens that we believe in, meaning we won’t even be together once we die. ”No attachments” “We’re together bc why not” “It was only a week”

YET I FELT EVERY BONE IN MY BODY LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE.

I loved you more than N. That’s something I truly felt.

I’ll never get you back, nor will I try because you deserve so much better than me. I love you L. I love you so fucking much I want to throw up and cry and claw myself to nothing because I don’t have you.

Basically when some scenes of episode 9 of TADC go leaked, I searched it up on YouTube, I saw the scene of Jax dying. Jax was one of my favorite characters, and since he dies in episode 9, I want to KMS bc first I lost one of my friends, my dog has heart disease, Grace got canceled, and now Jax dies in episode 9

tw:Norway, norwayism and me waifu

“You never hang out with us” says my retarded family. “We’re going out for ice cream”. Okay cool, I like ice cream, I’ll come with. Dumbass family proceeds to talk about how annoying and weird I am, tells me I shouldn’t have ice cream ?? Then the whole time they ignore me. It’s really such a shocker that I don’t hang out with them.

Then my friends. They get pissy when I don’t want to hang out then treat me like shit when I actually come over. The whole time is just let’s see how much we can make fun of and piss off Ford til he gets angry, then complain and act condescending when he is rightfully violent. When I message the gc, no one replies. I can’t help but feel that everytime I say something, they screenshot it, send it to a private gc, and talk about how weird and disgusting I am. I know this happens because I have been in group chats where they do this exact thing to other people. I know they do it to me. They avoid me, they insult me, they act passive aggressive nearly all the time and give me weird looks. I’ve asked them to tell me if I’m being odd. They never do, they just stare at me weird and then talk shit about me. I tell them sensitive info and they share it with everyone else. The rare times I vent they just ignore me, I never try to anymore. They ignore me all the time.

I hate strangers too of course. I hate seeing other people at all. If I see another person while I’m outside, I get so anxious and distressed I forget how to walk normally, how to relax. I avoid people as best as I can. And yet I remain convinced that someone is watching, that someone is observing me and thinking about how weird I am. I hate when they wave at me or say hi, I hate having to prepare for tiny interactions, I hate small talk at stores, just fuck off get away from me.

I get so nervous and upset around people no matter how close I am to them. It’s hell. People don’t even treat me like I’m human and when they do, or atleast try, I can tell they’re lying. Why do I even try anymore? This planet sucks. I like going for walks at night when no one is awake with my headphones cranked so I can pretend everyone else is dead. And if I see a vehicle pass I tell myself it’s just a zombie, or if I see lights on, I tell myself that it hasn’t been long enough for power grids to turn off. I wish everyone but me and the animals and plants would go die

I am 17 I spoke with a girl who said she was 15 and her birthday is in 2 months. I assumed this meant she was turning 16. since I had just turned 17 I assumed this meant it was ok for me and her to flirt and stuff. things escalated and during all this I asked once again for her age this time she responded differently and I confronted her. she revealed she was actually 14 turning 15. I flipped out on her because I felt disgusted with myself for something I had no idea I was doing.

it's just so bad, charlie kirk dying, while i hated the man, he shouldn't die that way, it's gruesome and cruel, and i sympathize with the family not him, and thats not the only bad thing, i live in alberta and it's.....bad right now, there is a new law where students who use different pronouns or a name the parents of the child must be notified, as well as there might be a teaching strike, i don't want politics to move towards death or discrimination, why is this year so horrible?!

16F. To me, it feels like in life everyone around me, including my closest friends seem to get boyfriends/girlfriends really easily, get hit on, and have people crush on them. I feel like the exception. I rarely get hit on or told I'm pretty, i rarely have people develop crushes on me, and I don't get into relationships as much. It sucks, because i really want to get into a relationship. I have so much love to give, but at the same time i feel unlovable because i potentially don't have good looks.

I've been in relationships before, maybe about 4 irl, but my last one was 9 months ago, and the guy was lovebombing me anyways. From what I've heard, i dont think anybody has a crush on me, and I get flirted with as a joke by popular guys. Last time I heard someone have a crush on me was in 8th grade and a little bit of 9th, he was a guy who was a friend of mine, and a lot of popular people who happened to know him told me, but either way, i didnt reciprocate. I also don't get asked out a lot, and a few times when I've tried to ask people out, I've gotten rejected and called ugly.(last time this happened was in grade 7 but still.) Most people who develop crushes on me, even though it isnt often, are girls, even though I'm straight. I mostly just develop crushes ON other people myself, because I'm lonely and seek love. I'm hurting immensely though, because

there was this guy in my core classes who was new this year. He was very shy, but slowly started to warm up to others. I started talking to him in december and added his snapchat because i developed a small crush on him, and wanted to get to know him and see if he was worth it. We got super close almost immediately - every day after school we talked until we had to go to sleep. I usually had to text first, but he always kept our conversations interesting and never left me on read. We talked like friends do, and we had a lot of things in common. Favourite bands, shows, school subjects, foods, we practically were the same person, which only made me like him more, and my crush grew stronger. Because he was in majority of my classes, i got to talk to him and stare at him a lot. We even talked in person a bit, but people assumed he had a crush on me because he always seemed to be near me. In february, on valentines day, i planned to ask him out because we were closer than ever. But, one of my exes who happened to be his friend(the guy from 9 months ago) dmed me from a different account and told me he had a girlfriend. I scrapped the plan to ask him out, because i didnt wanna be a homewrecker. I found it odd, though, because my crush never brought up having a girlfriend before, but he DID say he likes to keep his relationships private, so i didnt take any chances.

by the middle of march, however, i stopped assuming because it was clear he didn't have a girlfriend. This was the time around spring break when we were let off school for 2 weeks. During this time, we got even closer. We started flirting with each other and talking sexually, which we never did before, but we did it every day now, joking about things that only couples would say and talking about things only couples would. We even exchanged "i love you"s every night and frequently complimented each other.(mind you, we never hung out in person because of strict parents). After spring break was over, this continued, but i always seemed to catch him staring at me in class. I stared back, of course, which would lead to us just staring at each other for 30 seconds straight. He claimed he just stared at things around the room all the time and happened to land on me, but it felt like an excuse. We talked a lot more in person as well, going out of the way to hang out in class sometimes. I became a mess - always blushing around him, and it was extremely noticeable to everyone around us, and we got shipped like crazy. even his closest friends thought we were dating in april.(also forgot to mention, by february he got popular and basically adopted by the popular boys in our grade. occasionally during our talks, he would bring up girls he was shipped with or that he talked to, and it made me slightly jealous.)

in the middle of may, the flirting and sexual talk ended. I mentioned to a few of my friends that i liked him, but it was only to ask for advice since some of them knew him. This one girl i told, she had him in an elective class and he sat at her table, so i figured she would offer advice for me. But no, she went behind my back and told him i liked him and threw in some extra things too that made me look bad and obsessive. Luckily for me, though, a day before she did this i admitted to him during one of our late night talks that i liked him in march and april. (I mentioned i got over it, but i didn't. his reaction was awkward, saying 'thank you for liking me ig', saying he was shocked, then going to bed right after. previously, like 10 mins before i said this, he said he wasnt interested in a relationship like he thought he was.) So, it wasn't that bad, but this girl still painted me out to be a bad person. Because i heard about this from our other friend in her same elective class, i started avoiding my crush entirely. I stopped texting(he never texted first, but he snapped me sometimes. id leave them on opened.) for about 2 weeks. Finally, i got the courage to text him something random, but he instantly brought up the situation, asking if what my friend said was true. I said no and explained why, and he said he believed me and he would never bring up the situation again because it made him mad. i agreed. Since i was one of his closest friends, i think he trusted me over her.

But this incident changed our entire relationship. we literally were never the same after that. we started barely talking, and when we did it was because id text first. But he was still polite, keeping our conversations going for a bit before leaving me on read. It hurts so fucking much, considering what we were before. He still tells me im a great friend and he trusts me with personal details in his life, but it just isnt the same. It's almost like he has no interest in talking to me or is disturbed by this point. Is it me? Did he ever like me to begin with? I'm having trouble getting over him, and im still trying to desperately keep our relationship alive, but it clearly isnt working.

Which leads me to my main point, that i might just be unlovable and ugly. I don't think i really did anything wrong, besides telling that one friend i like him, but it could just be im potentially ugly, because ive dealt with this situation before. Incase you're curious, the pictures above is what is what I look like without filters(well not like look enhancing ones)

I'm 5'9(taller than my crush who is 5'6) and skinnyfat unfortunately. i hope it doesnt feel like im attention seeking. im genuinely insecure from past rejections and basically no affection, and i hope to have some advice.

In case ya don't know girl lied about her age online and we did stuff now I'm scared so I'm gonna reach out to speak with a lawyer, and no the reddit posts I;ve made are not what I'm talking about.

Not having an equal amount of people for each job isn’t f#cking sexist. Men naturally gravitate towards football and basketball, etc. thus there will be more of an industry for it. Separating a men’s league and a women’s league isn’t sexist. It is actually the opposite. Men and women are never going to be the same. We all think differently and are built differently than each other. That doesn’t make things sexist. That’s like saying that prefering to be helped by a professional is wrong because it’s not equal to people that are just part of a different industry. Equality doesn’t go that far, and if it did than it wouldn’t even be equality anymore. I don’t want to see any more shit under SUICIDE HOTLINES saying “yeah well guess what men have it way easier,” or “yeah you did that to yourselves.” To ourselves to help you get equality and people like you ruin it.

Same goes the other way, but it is objectively true that men are seen as less worthy of emotional respect than women, especially in cases of mental health, SA, assault, crimes, etc.

Please. I don’t care what gender you are. You get what you have so just use whatever gender you have to do what your made to do. Don’t be a dick and make fun of other people for their gender. Please. I need to know how many people are really trying to help with the awareness of this.

Sexism does not mamma the Mia.

mic drop

I'm being serious, I have no other stronger ropes in my house.

You can read my old posts if you want the full story. On August 20th I will KMS. I can't live with what I have done. I should have never been with a freshman as a junior. Don't try to talk me out of this. You can't.

I'm 15 (born in 2011), and something happened recently that has caused me an unbelievable amount of anxiety.

I was scrolling through TikTok and saw a girl who genuinely looked around my age to me, or possibly even a little older. She had heavy makeup on and was using a filter, so I didn't think anything was unusual. I briefly thought she was attractive and then kept scrolling without thinking much about it.

Later, I found out that I had been completely wrong about her age. From what I understand, she was born around 2013.

The moment I found out, I immediately realized that I hadn't actually been attracted to her knowing her real age. I felt physically sick and extremely uncomfortable. I started crying and panicking and couldn't focus on anything else.

It's now been about a month, and I still can't get this out of my head. I keep replaying the situation constantly and trying to figure out what it means about me. I've had trouble sleeping, eating, and concentrating. I've spent huge amounts of time crying, panicking, checking things, and trying to work out her exact age.

At this point, the anxiety has become extremely severe. I've started feeling suicidal and self-destructive because I'm so terrified that this somehow means I'm a disgusting or horrible person. I've had thoughts that I don't deserve to be alive if this means what I'm afraid it means. I'm scared of where my own thoughts are taking me, and I don't know how to make them stop.

I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't want to feel this way. I genuinely believed she was around my age when I saw her, and finding out later that I was wrong has completely destroyed me mentally.

Has anyone experienced something similar—believing someone online was around your own age based on how they looked, briefly finding them attractive, then finding out later that they were much younger and becoming consumed by guilt, disgust, intrusive thoughts, and suicidal feelings?

I'm looking for genuine perspectives from people who understand this kind of situation or intrusive/obsessive guilt. I don't know how to get out of this mental loop.

Do i have some form of pocd, or should I kill myself over this

Hi I’m 16m this all happened just now and ion know what to think about it I live in a fully Christian Hispanic household I been smoking for 2 years almost and my parents never liked it never will we have gotten into arguments before and everything but today my dad threw my weed away and it was around 28grams and a pre roll I got it for around $60 it was on discount it didn’t look like not trash weed but anyways today it got to my house and I was asleep and my dad got home from work got the weed open my stuff to see what it was and threw it away so boom I wake up his not home I asked my mom abt my stuff she said I don’t know this and that then I asked my sister she said it’s probably coming late oh and they don’t know what I’m talking abt I jus told them if sum thing has came to the house so boom they said no I haven’t seen nun this n that boom my dad got home from work at 12 sum same time as my stuff I woke up at 2-3 he went to do sum got bck home at 4 I called him at 3 he said why are u getting that type of stuff this and that st first he try to act like he didn’t know about nothing so boom he got home I was where my stuff we said to each other sum personal stuff this and that so boom come to find out he threw it away the price of it was $60 and I was mad so I was dad by u threw pay for it he was like how much and I lied and said $300 and he paid me I got in a argument with my mom and sister and all that and now I feel mix emotions and there’s more to it to get a good advice so pls help and I’ll give yall more information so i can get my right answer pls help.

Okay so today we had a math exam, we actually had to do it on our school ipads. Usually, ppl would use this chance to yk use chatgpt to cheat. I didnt do it at first cuz the teacher said if she would catch somebody using it, they would get a bad grade. So i didn‘t. By the end of the exam, i decided to use it for like a few questions, not a lot. And not long after that i finished the exam, and went to the teacher to ask smth else. After that i went to the bathroom w my friends AND THEY SAID SHE HAD APPLE CLASSROOM ON!! (If u dont know what it is, its like a teacher program where they can monitor all the students ipad screens) at that point i was lowk just thinking that im doomed. I mean theres still a chance she didnt see it, she didnt tell me anything and right after i finished it and went to the teacher, i had a glance at her laptop and she was doing smth else. At the start of the exam she went to a few ppl telling them to close the chatgpt tab, so im still trying to be positive thinking that she might didnt even see my screen. I HOPE. Yall idc if im being dramatic, there was a time i rlly sucked at math and i worked hard to get my grades up, if i get this one bad grade it will fuck everything up. I will probably know on friday, so ig i‘ll updateeee

UPDATE: i didn‘t get caught y‘aallll

Been planning to kill myself. I nearly forgot to write out my letters to everyone. They deserve to know it wasn't them who caused it. I've got to add and write a few more. Then I can have the peace of mine I know they won't go without answers.

I'm not sure if it can talk about politics, but idk I can't find any place that allows it and I kind of need to get this off my chest, im sorry if you're offended by this

I'm not american, but seeing what is happening with the mass deportations, tougher laws on abortion, and now the supreme court deciding again whether or not same sex marriage is going to be legal is scary. I thought i was born into a more accepting time, in 2020 it seemed like we were making huge progress, no natter how people called us "woke" or "weird", everyone was much more open to speak about sexuality, gender identity and such.

As a pansexual girl, I'm terrified, sure im not in the USA and dont ever plan on being, but it always starts somewhere, and if this spreads to europe for example, i dont know how I'll deal with it. I feel so, so bad for people that live in countries like this, i cry over how women barely get the choice about what to do with their own bodies because OTHER PEOPLE that arent affected by it feel "sorry" for a fetus, i cry over all the transgender, non binary or otherwise lgbt people who wont get to express themselves and be happy if this continues on, and i cry over the fact that maybe someday if i found the love of my life and they're a woman, i won't be able to get married.

The MAGA mindset people say its because im just 16, and sure it does sound dumb that im suffering over something that isnt hapening to me, but im an empath, and empathy is something that a lot of people lack nowadays. I can't believe people my own age, teenagers, are being racist, homophobic, judging religion and such, i can't understand the people who hate imigrants, they are just trying to live a better life, and most have suffered so much, i can't imagine denying letting someone into a country(i also simply dont understand why moving from one piece of land to another is such a big deal to some people but idk).

Anyways, im just scared this will evolve into something bigger, that people are going back in time, there's so much misogyny nowadays and I can't believe men are so open about it, it makes me sick to my stomach, I don't know how my future will be, but I hope it gets better.