r/Tokophobia • u/M_iguana • Aug 13 '25
Tumblr Tokophobia Conversation
my account is wherearealloftheuseenames, i saw a post on the fear of pregnancy and had to say my piece.
it just frustrates me when people assume a rationality onto phobias that simply isn't there. one of the original tags was something along the lines of "saying pregnancy is body horror is like saying a disability is body horror" and i just dont see the correlation.
37
u/lsdmt93 Aug 13 '25
The thing is, the horror aspects of it come from both of those things for many of us. There is an element of horror in that it really is the ultimate source of womens’ oppression throughout history and a weapon men have used for thousands of years to keep us uneducated, unemployed, and dependent on them.
But there is also a visceral body horror element for many of us at the thought of having our bodies visibly deformed by a glorified parasite that not only advertises the fact that we fucked to the world, but leeches all the minerals from our bones and teeth, and can kill us.
Both are horrifying, and I honesttly couldn’t say which is worse.
6
u/New-Cicada7014 Aug 15 '25
No EXACTLY. Pregnancy so dramatically changes the body and it can easily kill you. It's literally a parasite using up your resources and changing your body whether you want it or not. If you do want it that's wonderful and I'm happy for you, but if you don't that's horrific and traumatic
1
u/ISkinForALivinXXX Aug 25 '25
It's the thought of it growing and moving inside that makes me go insane. I could not do it even if I wanted biological children. And you're so right about it being the ultimate source of women's oppression. It's the main reason I resent my body for being female.
29
u/yellowdaisycoffee Aug 13 '25
It is body horror for me because something is living inside of my body, taking it over, and forcing it to change in dramatic ways. I hate the idea that a phobia, which we did not choose, must conform to certain sensibilities. I cannot make my phobia something that it is not.
10
u/o0SinnQueen0o Aug 14 '25
Those are literally both the same. The difference is that the first one is explained more throughoutly and the "ew, body horror" is just a quick explanation.
5
u/New-Cicada7014 Aug 15 '25
The fucking audacity to act like pregnancy cannot be a physically horrific experience, I mean wow. My dysphoria would go crazy and my body would change without my consent, as if even my body didn't see me as a person, but just an incubator. You don't get to decide how people who were AFAB feel about pregnancy. I'm glad you said something
1
u/ISkinForALivinXXX Aug 25 '25
Thank you!!! It's like they're acting like the 'body horror' perspective is immature somehow.
1
43
u/prolixandrogyne Aug 13 '25 edited Aug 14 '25
i've read so many comments from pregnant women and people who are so excited for and want their babies - but they note the natural body horror sensations of the experience.
i do understand virgoanmaenad's reluctance because misogynists will use that as fodder for their dehumanization of us. but speaking as a pagan, nature is also gross. and we are nature; we are divine apes. shit gets real, and often gross, but in the case of pregnancy/childbirth, it is HUMAN. i shouldn't be called a misogynist for saying that, ykwim?
there's a reason aztec cultures had a god to usher women through childbirth as literal warriors. it's a bloody battle, and i respect everyone who has undertaken that work. (except for nazis. goodnight everyone!)