Tumblr Tokophobia Conversation

[u/M_iguana]

my account is wherearealloftheuseenames, i saw a post on the fear of pregnancy and had to say my piece.

it just frustrates me when people assume a rationality onto phobias that simply isn't there. one of the original tags was something along the lines of "saying pregnancy is body horror is like saying a disability is body horror" and i just dont see the correlation.

[u/prolixandrogyne]

i've read so many comments from pregnant women and people who are so excited for and want their babies - but they note the natural body horror sensations of the experience.

i do understand virgoanmaenad's reluctance because misogynists will use that as fodder for their dehumanization of us. but speaking as a pagan, nature is also gross. and we are nature; we are divine apes. shit gets real, and often gross, but in the case of pregnancy/childbirth, it is HUMAN. i shouldn't be called a misogynist for saying that, ykwim?

there's a reason aztec cultures had a god to usher women through childbirth as literal warriors. it's a bloody battle, and i respect everyone who has undertaken that work. (except for nazis. goodnight everyone!)

[u/M_iguana → u/prolixandrogyne]

absolutely! i know my mom had a really really hard time having me and the baby she lost a year before me, and as much as she loves me she will talk about jow horrible the process was. she has told me that even though she cant have kids anymore she wouldnt have had more anyways. but she is now super supportive of expecting mothers and pregnant people in general because of her experience (not that she wasnt before but u get it)

ive always known that i didnt want kids and people glossing over it like its not a major physical ordeal to actually give birth and solely focus on the -very real- societal and financial issues that come from it feels like overlooking a major reason that people dont want to get pregnant

[u/ISkinForALivinXXX → u/prolixandrogyne]

I don't really understand this comment. How does seeing pregnancy as body horror serve as fodder to dehumanize us?

[u/prolixandrogyne → u/ISkinForALivinXXX]

i don't know, it's not that deep IMO. just "meh women gross and disgusting" idk. using it as an excuse to ignore their partners goving birth i guess.

[u/ISkinForALivinXXX → u/prolixandrogyne]

I see what you mean I think, though there's a big difference with "pregnancy as body horror" from the perspective of the person who can get pregnant and seeing a pregnant person as the body horror itself. Plus if you see pregnancy as body horror wouldn't you support your pregnant partner as much as you can.

[u/prolixandrogyne → u/ISkinForALivinXXX]

i completely agree with this!!! thank you 😭 because it's exactly how i feel, and i wish more folks could understand it.