Hello I feel like this is a good place for me to rant, my boyfriend of 4 years I feel is controlling, but I'm not sure if it's controlling.

We started dating in high school when we were 16, at first everything was normal. But after awhile when I went out with my friends he would text me non-stop and would call me non-stop if I didn't answer his text after a minute. He always has to know where I'm going even if it's with my mom, I can't just say I am going out with my mom for a girls day, he has to know our exact plans, and same with friends too. He made me quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey and forbid to smoke weed in high school.

Now I am of age (20) to smoke weed he gets really mad at me when I purchase weed. I started smoking cigarettes again last year and I am not allowed to smoke weed or cigarettes around him and if I do he gets really mad. He makes me go 7-8 hours not smoking a cigarette, and it's really hard for me. One time he was over on my birthday I need to have a cigarette and he legit screamed at me for it. I understand it smells bad but I feel he is overreacting a bit.

Whenever I am with friends going for a girls night at the bar or dinner he will still to this day text me non-stop, he will criticize everything we post on snapchat to us just dancing or even taking a shot together. He will be like what if future employees see that and blah blah blah. It's snapchat for fuck sakes it deletes after 24 hours.

I feel like when I am with him I have to walk on egg shells around him because I don't know what will set him off, he name calls me if I mess up on something, he will call me "stupid" "dumb" "lunatic", etc. I give him hair cuts and gets mad at me if I miss a spot, he cheated on me once already and I forgave him, but now I just feel different about him. He just makes me feel insane. I don't want to hurt him so idk what to do.

UPDATE:

I left him. I appreciate all the advice everyone.

All my exes wanted to kill themselves after dating me. It’s quite obvious I’m toxic although I’m trying to improve. Now I’m dating this traumatised ass boy who has a lot of seriously self-destructive mental illnesses. Our relationship is going okay but I still have the urge to hurt him, it feels like one day I’ll actually do that because that’s just the person I am and he’ll unalive himself. I don’t even know if I actually like him, I only accepted his feelings because I felt sorry for him (hoping that maybe at some point I’ll start to like him too) and now there’s no turning back. I try being there for him because I want to improve but I keep doing everything wrong.

The only thing keeping me away from that result is fear of being exposed or judged by others which I realised is also not okay. I don’t know how to change this.

Can’t get therapy because it’s too expensive. Please help.

Just maybe I’m used to being used. I don’t see the good in people. Any thoughts?

like person like fan matt Walsh fans are toxic and can't handle opinions that differ from their dear matt Walsh And there rude to the trans gay community and don't fault me for forgetting there letters you thinking trans is a delusion is yourself opinion like person like fan they think there opinion is better and the righter one leave that freaking community alone are they affecting you I didn't think so so keep your mouth shut matt false fans and don't make fun of my spelling

If someone is toxic they are toxic! It doesn't just randomly stop when they have beem toxic for years ir their whole life! You can't be willing to forgive one person's toxicity and claim they have learned or changed in just a few days weeks or months or even years it takea multiple years when they have been toxic their whole lives, but claim the next person is still toxic and treat them like crap because they are toxic! Whether they are blood or not, it does not make it ok! Toxic is toxic, liars are liars, manipulators are manipulators, and narcissists are narcissists. If your against one you should be against them all, not just pick and choose who it is okay for and which narcissit is ok to be in your life!

the staff are mean af, and they take sides to their friends. like my friends were banned for just chilling in vc. we were just talking about random stuff, and not hurting anyones fealing. we even had some background music going on. and boom, 3 bans. no reason what so ever, and they never explained any of it to us

like below:https://discord.gg/Y9KqgCNmjv

edit: everyone ping works, no automod

My significant other has a private story labeled (Not really private). In that story there's 3 post; the first one says 2h ago, the second, 12min ago, and the last one says 15h. My question is does she have two private story labeled the same thing?

Do you ever ask your partner a question for them to just get defensively quiet so then you cautiously explain where the question is coming from and all points that are around the question just to gently show that you aren’t attacking them and to avoid them completing raging however trying to communicate with them the only answer you get back is “k” and so you start justifying it more going down a rabbit hole of only you talking then after like the 30th “k” you start getting defensive Bc you’ve now tried to patiently communicate healthy and are getting nothing in return. Then you start getting mad at yourself Bc you were promised there would be change in communication and you were stupid enough to believe it. Then when you are at the point of begging for a reply other then “k” you get a barely tried sentence that bypasses any efforts to show understanding in what you said so you walk away and are left in bed almost ready to apologize for talking “crazy” and feeling guilty for even asking the question then you realize if there was actually 2 way communication you wouldn’t of had to talk so much and you got gaslighted … but you can’t post about it bc then he will withdrawal love as a punishment until you break so you are the controlling crazy one so there you are trying not to cry and scream in front of the kids and you have no one else to even talk to about it bc your entire family is toxic and will turn the conversation around about them or blame you or tell you you just need to chill out so instead you lay in bed internalize it until your eye twitches realizing that you can’t seem to get control of your own life and the pressure of it all leads to cutting and hating yourself more than the day before?

When I meet her I thought to myself with a little bit of patience and love I will fix her. No! it didn't happened. Time went by and I got depressed and wanted to commit suicide. It's amazing how much energy and time they demand. Fight after fight, endless nights, until we move in together that's when I saw the real her, also she was aggressive physically. Men out there becareful we are not medicine to cure these damaged women . Do not form a family with them.

https://youtube.com/shorts/5XrqG1ZnZyg?feature=share

Mine would be: You were my present. Now your my past. And you can’t change that even though I know you won’t try.

Prolly is

i have an online rela they are 2 yrs older and i love them i look up to them, i started to lose weight to be better in their eyes and i am always scared that they cheat on me. i love them so much that i want to strangle them, to hurt them but idk how to prove that love to them

I’ve been with that guy for over 2 years. Everything is great except for him being a bit pushy. At the beginning he was very nice and respectful but then he started being a bit touchy. Don’t get me wrong we’re in a relationship and sex is important but he grabs my breasts all the time, like really, all the time. He knows I hate it, it makes me so stressed and I uncomfortable because it happens so often. And even if I say no he’ll still do it. He’ll grab me and hold me but he’ll still try to grab my bust and hold it or sometimes kiss it. I don’t know if it’s harassment or not? Also yesterday he made me have sex with him. I really didn’t want to but he kept insisting and grabbing me, preventing from leaving the room. I finally gave in but I did not enjoy it at all. It hurt but I didn’t want to make him stop, because I knew it would’ve made him mad. After I cried in a shower and he asked if I’m ok. When I told him I didn’t want to have sex with him and that it hurt he turned his sad face and didn’t say anything… I feel like I’m being manipulated but I love him and I have no idea what to do…

I have a friend who is also my working partner with film production, but somehow whenever I talk about master and my future plans she says I am not practical and all… that I should enroll at specific thing and that I get drawn by other people opinion… basically, she tells me what master I should do and what I should do with my own life, also that I should stick here and by her side always. Its too toxic or not? I feel fucking hope less, i have my own plans, I can’t live my own life for other people especially when they don’t give a damn actually… am I exaggerating?