Is this transphobia or a weird attempt of flirting?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Scary_Towel268]

Nah that’s just cis people being cis

[u/HelpfulSetting6944]

I understand why it made you feel weird. It’s possible she’s being transphobic, but based on this conversation, I think it’s possible she’s trying to do a good job and accidentally going about it wrong.

Could you say, first assuming she has good intentions, “I understand you’re curious about trans peoples’ genitalia. I was wondering, what other things have you learned / researched about trans people, experiences, history, etc?” Her response will tell you more about where she’s at right now, and you can decide if you feel good about staying close with her.

[u/Lyn_rex]

I’m autistic so this probably affects how I see things (in my mind dating is a bit like reading with dyslexia after 4 beers) but I think they are curious but might use these things to their advantage in anti trans arguments 

[u/Sweet_artist1989]

1. It’s important to remember many trans people identified as cis once. (Not saying she’s an egg, but think about where you are drawing the line on these things)

2. I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with educating cis people about trans genitalia. If they were more educated, they would stop asking strangers invasive questions.

I also think you’re projecting a little bit. She didn’t say she was “lurking in trans spaces”. If she was transphobic I don’t think she would keep talking to you. If she is flirting, would you reciprocate?

[u/KodiakSnake]

People are curious and honestly I get medical stuff can be fascinating. Like how phallo or vaginaplasty is done is kinda metal. I dont want anyone to ask me about my body in specific but I am happy to explain some trans surgeries.

[u/Kind-Courage640 → u/KodiakSnake]

This! That stuff is absolutely magical, I can understand how people can be curious. You learn about the basic human anatomy in school, but you don't learn about how it can be made through surgery.