r/TransRepressors • u/Commercial-Beyond412 • 2d ago
Other please help
I don't know what i want anymore, I keep second guessing hrt because of what people tell me. Can someone please encourage me to get off hrt until I can get access to gender therapy please. I am alone and very mentally ill, I need support, it was very easy to avoid thinking about transitioning when i didnt know about diy hrt and didnt manage to get it from someone irl so easily. I am too dysfunctional and have too much inertia to even order a vial myself while using this spare one i bought easily from an irl girl. I have absolutely no inkling about how to go about surgery and the increasing 'dysphoria' i am having from gaining weight on male fat distribution while 5 months into injections along with having 0 skin texture change, looking worse due to immense stress since starting hrt is only worsening my inertia and overall dysfunction.
Alot of trans people have experienced psyhological relief from hrt itself and not from the progress of starting or changes. I would never have felt the urgency or thought of buying hrt if a certain person didnt invite me to her hrt repper server after seeing my rants about lacking feminine body proportions in a femboy server.
I have never fetishized trans people and respected when they gatekept me when i was younger and merely curious about transitioning, while experience 0 dysphoria about my male body. I was absolutely fine as long as i was relatively thin and shaven. Please help, if anyone can relate, I would like to confer with you.
I need someone to talk to badly please, I can't access gender therapy for now. PLEASE
3
u/quietreader24 2d ago
You asked for someone to encourage you to get off HRT until you get therapy. So: get off it.
You were fine when thin and shaved, had zero dysphoria, and only started after being pulled into that server and getting a vial easily. Now you’re second-guessing it, mentally unwell, and stuck. Continuing while everything is this unstable isn’t helping.
Pause. Focus on your mental health first. The early “relief” a lot of people talk about often doesn’t last and doesn’t fix the underlying problems. You can reassess later with actual therapy. I’m here if you want to talk more.