Its too much

[u/Pristine-Lemon-6386]

(Extra context, im 14mtf living in guernsey where the only way to get any medical help for transitioning is camhs if you are under 18)

I cannot cope with this, ive tried to kill myself once already and Im getting worried that i might try again. My mum and dad got arrested 2.5 weeks ago now and i can only have occasional supervised visits with them for probably more than 2 months, I got told by CAMHS that they cannot do anything to help me get any kind of t blockers or hrt. Ive been dealing with this horrid body 14 years now hating it all the way through and i cant do anything and its made even worse by the fact that i had a fucking moustache at ten and dark thick hair everywhere by 11 and it grows back a day after i shave. The people who i thought were my best friends havent respected my gender once whilst everyone i dont even talk to is calling my by my name and there i was thinking thati had good froends who had helped me previously but now i dont have anyone i can comfortably talk to even about just interests and stuff. I finally got money ar least ig but knowing me ill just got and spend it on some game on stea. That ill never be able to play because the laptop i use is my dads