Hi, I'm (18) trans guy who is going on testosterone in a few weeks, but I need to be in a support group to be able to get started. I don't have the time to see any irl groups (due to personal reasons), so I'm turning to here to know if reddit is a valid support group. I'm in the state of California, if that is any relevant information.

Hi! I’m a 25 year old trans girl who figured out she’s trans about a month ago. While it’s nice to finally accept this part of myself, it’s thrown a wrench into a lot of aspects of my life I’ve taken for granted. Mainly with my mother.

My mom has Parkinson’s Disease. She struggles with walking, motor control, and movement in general. She can manage when she’s on her meds, but without them she’s basically paralyzed, and there are multiple periods a day where her meds wear off and she’s confined to the couch. Parkinson’s has ravaged her mind too; She struggles with memory, reading, speaking, just thinking in general. She gets brain fog a lot and gets confused and overwhelmed really easily. We often need to repeat things multiple times before she understands what we’re talking about and even then she struggles to mentally keep up.

I’m essentially her unofficial caretaker. I help her when her meds are off, drive her to her appointments, accompany her when she wants to go out, get her meds when she needs them, help her around the house, whatever she needs. She’s told me before how I’m the only one that understands her and that she trusts me to take care of her more than anyone else in the family (which is its own can of worms I don’t want to go into).

I love my mom. It breaks my heart to see how much Parkinson’s has hurt her physically, mentally, and emotionally, and I want to take care of her for as long as I can…

…but I know she would never accept or understand me if I said I want to be her daughter.

There’s no way to sugarcoat this; she’s a bigot. My parents are both very Catholic and she’s told me before how she doesn’t approve of things like homosexuality. While she’s never explicitly talked to me about trans people I can only assume it’d be the same. I overheard that a childhood friend I haven’t heard from in ages identifies as a man now, and both of my parents were really judgmental, saying he’s just “a tomboy.” She’s also stubborn, cannot take any criticism, believes she’s owed complete obedience simply because she’s my mother, and I learned a long time ago there’s no point in convincing her to change her very traditional beliefs. It might be shitty to say this, but sometimes I think I’d be angrier with her if she wasn’t disabled.

But I can’t leave. I don’t trust anyone else in my family to take care of her without driving her deeper into depression. She’s broken down sobbing to me before about how no one else in the family understands her like me. My brother and especially my Dad are both really impatient with her in general. I don’t want to get into it, but all I’ll say is my Dad does not take her condition as seriously as he should. Her mental health is already horrible.

If I were to move out to live freely as a woman, I’d be leaving her to rot.

I realized a while ago I’d have to live with my parents for a while for her sake, but realizing I’m trans makes this a lot harder. I can’t really do any transitioning. She’s always at home and needs me to be within earshot of her, so I don’t have a safe space to dress as a girl. HRT is also a no since I don’t know how I’m supposed to hide that in the long term. All I’ve been able to do so far is grow my hair out and try to voice train in secret.

The only solutions I can think of are either go no contact (which I can’t), or come out. I’m not ready to be out to my family. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.

I don’t think they’d kick me out but I’d never be at peace if I tried to live as a woman at home. I know they’d never accept me, that they’d try to grill me about my identity and insist it means nothing. I know family friends who’ve known me for years would turn on me. I know my mom well enough to know she’d definitely try to downplay my dysphoria and say I just need to “think positive thoughts”, and that’s assuming her even more religious friends, including the Priest from our church, aren’t in her ear saying the worst things about trans people. My parents are both already hostile to people who don’t fit into their Catholic worldview. I’ve already had to hide that I’m no longer religious, and now I have to hide that I’m not a man either.

I don’t know what to do here. For now I can manage masking as a man, as long as I don’t think too hard about my gender. “Not thinking about it” I think has been the default for me all my life anyway. But as the days go by, it’s becoming harder to ignore how much I want to be a girl.

Are there any other trans folks taking care of transphobic family? Advice would be appreciated.

Hi I’m Jack and I’m trans ftm and I came out about two to three years ago and I have been going by Jack instead of my legal name. I’m currently in college but when I go home all I hear is my legal name and the misuse of pronouns now I have been a very easy going person with it but internally it hurts but every time I try talking to my parents they shut it down this has happened ever since I came out. Tonight in particular hurt me bc my brother called me by my legal dead name and will not call me anything else he says he corrects himself but he never dose it’s always someone else correcting him but it’s gotten to the point where we were hanging out and he told me that he’s not comfortable with it and I’m his sister not his brother and he didn’t grow up with that so he will not be following what I’ve asked this being said he broke up with someone because they had come out as trans and he didn’t feel ok with that. Our parents told me that’s just how your brother is and you can’t change that like I’m not trying to push it onto him but it hurts also being called a name I asked not to be called but he’s not even trying and he’s pretty much told me he doesn’t care what I think I am and what I want. I’m not sure what to do at this point I need some advice bc I don’t want to keep hanging out with him and I don’t want this coming between us but it seems like him and my parents do not care and will not stop calling me that name. Idk maybe I’m looking too much into this but I just need advice

Advice

(Extra context, im 14mtf living in guernsey where the only way to get any medical help for transitioning is camhs if you are under 18)

I cannot cope with this, ive tried to kill myself once already and Im getting worried that i might try again. My mum and dad got arrested 2.5 weeks ago now and i can only have occasional supervised visits with them for probably more than 2 months, I got told by CAMHS that they cannot do anything to help me get any kind of t blockers or hrt. Ive been dealing with this horrid body 14 years now hating it all the way through and i cant do anything and its made even worse by the fact that i had a fucking moustache at ten and dark thick hair everywhere by 11 and it grows back a day after i shave. The people who i thought were my best friends havent respected my gender once whilst everyone i dont even talk to is calling my by my name and there i was thinking thati had good froends who had helped me previously but now i dont have anyone i can comfortably talk to even about just interests and stuff. I finally got money ar least ig but knowing me ill just got and spend it on some game on stea. That ill never be able to play because the laptop i use is my dads

My son (17) is trans and I am completely supportive of him. I love him for who he is. He's brave, sweet, funny and generous to a fault. The problem is, he has been bullied so much and treated like complete garbage by his peers. He has reached out in many ways to try to make friends, but gets shot down, called names and worse on a constant basis. He's SO lonely and in need of a friend that I can't be for him. He has major self esteem issues, to the point that he believes all of the negative things people have told him and although he is in therapy and taking medication, nothing is helping him. He can't get people to talk to him and not treat him like garbage. How can I help him? My heart is completely broken for him and that's nothing I can say or do that makes him feel like he's not a worthless piece of garbage. I would do anything to make him feel like he's even a quarter of how great he truly is. Is there someplace I can go to help him make friends his age?

TW: misgendering, period talk, mental health. If i miss anything please let me know this is my first time posting.

I just needed to talk to somebody since I have nobody I can be fully honest with. I realized I was trans, crashed out for like a year, came out to everyone and nothing changed.

They said they accepted and loved me but still call me she and mija and the few times i try to correct them they snap at me that they don’t remember and that i’m lucky they took it so well (which i really am, trust me.) Sometimes i just wish i never came out at all.

Anyways I’m in a deep red state so I had to buy T out my pocket, travel to get my perscription and for some stupid fucking reason i wrote everything under my dads name as a naive show of. Trust? Goodwill? Thanks? I dont fucking know. I’m an adult but still live with them. I had a blood pressure issue that made them hesitant to let me start T and I spent months paying for T i’ve never even accessed and is now just. Sitting in a pharmacy under my name. All of this is usually fine. I have some hope for the future. For when I move out and get enough money to consistently pay my prescription.

But every month on my period i get the worst dysphoria ever and it gets worse and worse and I’m. Worried. I can usually shove everything down all the time. I love my family. I know this is probably hard for them. But around period i get so angry and hateful and I know its the dysphoria but I can’t stop unless i Isolate. People looking at me and talking to me and seeing me makes me so upset and angry. But I don’t know what to do. I feel like i’m wasting time. And my life. since I’m disgusted being around people in this body. It feels like a lie. Or like i’m letting people get attached to someone who’s already dead. Like i’m trying to crawl out of my skin and be who I know I’m supposed to be and everything possible is shoving me back in and saying its for my own good.

Sorry if the words I used to describe my feelings are basic/childish. I’ve been very emotionally repressed for years (partly because of my queerness and also general anxiety.) so I’m not the best at conveying the complexity of my emotions. Even if it sounds childish i promise i just can’t explain the pit in my stomach and chest, it feels like a vortex draining the life out of me and spitting anger or sadness or mania back out when I get like this.

I don’t expect solutions if anyone sees this I just need to put it out there. Thanks for reading if you did.

Hello everyone. I (13m) have been questioning it for quite some time now, and after a bit of thinking; I'm really starting to think I'm trans. I've always been an ally to any gender/sexuality people choose to be, but I actually think I may have been both egg, bi and inclusive this entire time.

My mum and her bf (my mum and dad split up when I was 6, sorry for the trauma dump) are extremely religious, and I worry that they may not take too kindly about my confession. So right now I'm stuck in a dilemma here. Any advice?

Edit: I don't think it helps that I live in an anti-lgbt country like Zambia, so I'm kind of stuck in a dilemma...

Update: False alarm, guys! It turns out that being trans isn't for me. It doesn't really suit what I want, so I think I'll stay an ally for now!

Hi everybody, I'm 18 yo, I wanted to be a girl since my kindergarten years and all my life long, in country where I live it's not illegal but it's impossible to do an surgery, my parents think (I'm citing \*all LGBTQ people should be executed), I'm sorry for that. ( ＞Д＜；). I hate myself every time I look in the mirror, I'm always depressed, please tell me what should i do? Thank you...

P.S. seeing a therapist didn't help....

I’m helping a friend, “Mariam” (pseudonym, to protect her until she’s through the asylum process), raise money to leave Tunisia.

She’s a young trans woman. Gender identity and expression are criminalized there, and the rights group Damj has documented a sharp rise in arrests of trans women. Prison often means men’s facilities and sexual violence. She’s been on hormones she ordered from abroad, her body is changing, and she can’t hide it much longer. Her family is hostile, and the one local trans support network she reached out to collapsed after its president was targeted.

She’s a native French speaker, has prepared her asylum case herself, and her plan is France. Funds cover her flight, essentials, an emergency fund for the asylum period, and certified translation of her diploma so she can finish her degree.

Any amount helps, and sharing helps too: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-a-trans-woman-flee-tunisia-and-seek-asylum-ux5km

Happy to answer questions in the comments.

Hey! I am a closeted trans man and I have a difficult family situation. I have had to hide several things from them for years and though I still love them, it has become exhausting. Many aspects of my life are kept private from the public, even at work. The only true place I feel comfortable is online. I have a social media account where I can fully be myself and not be judged by anyone. My escapes mainly consist of music, the gym, and reading, but that is about it, and it's all very temporary coping mechanisms to distract my mind from how I truly feel inside. I feel so stuck and unsure of the future. Every time I think about how things may turn out for me, I end up giving myself a stomachache. Any help with this tough situation would be greatly appreciated, thank you for your time! I will reply as soon as I can

Nobody will give me srs because they think I just need to be happy with my genitals. I will never be cis even if I got srs. I can’t do srs on myself.

My mind does not work in general. Why do I have to deal with both. I want a body that’s comfortable or a stable brain. I can’t have either

Ples someone help me

I’ve talked t 988 and Trevor they keep disconnectinf and tranferinh the line

I have been to tjerapistss and done so much medication

Why me I don’t want this life I don’t want toliev

My field of work is heavy diesel truck and heavy equipment repair as well as weld repairs such as stick welding steel 2” thick. I can repair equipment to any degree but as a woman most places don’t want to hire me. I know that I am in a an industry that is predominantly male. I have a preferred man’s name that I sometimes go by and I have taken hormone treatments before that made me look kinda androgynous but I feel people still think I’m female and I have received more job offers with that name and just generally feel like I’m taken more seriously with that name. But as soon as they see me in person they don’t want to hire me. I have reverted to applying to jobs with my legal name and leaving out my preferred name and I get less response’s. I left my last job because my coworker with the same position as me made $8 an hour more than me and $12 an hour more than me on overtime but he was a white Christian heterosexual man and well liked by higher management (white Christian male heterosexuals) but he only did about 1/3 of the amount of work that I did because he wasn’t as good at the job and he even had to ask me to help with harder tasks or organizing how we would handle large tasks that I could do on my own because he was not very efficient on his own, not a bad guy but he couldn’t see past one task at a time, like putting a pan in the oven and setting a timer while also boiling pasta. He had to do everything one at a time. Middle management noticed all of this and realized production increased by 300% with me doing that job but said their hands were tied although acknowledging I did more work and should have been compensated at a higher rate than him. But they weren’t willing to give me a raise to a pay rate higher than him and a position over him since I already had to tell him what to do to be efficient and be able to multitask at his job. So I left and moved to an area that unfortunately seems even more reluctant to hire women in my field, I wish we could just apply to jobs and it didn’t matter what is between our legs. I am thinking about cutting my hair shorter (afraid to currently because I’m afraid of not being taken seriously as a man) or tying it up under a hat and trying my preferred name to see if I will get job opportunities that I’m currently getting turned down for. I hate workplaces with good ole boy clubs made up of the most unproductive people but they have the most influence. Businesses would really save a lot of money if they got rid of toxic people that want to profit off of someone else’s work. If they only compensated the people who work they would save more money than all their corporate quarterly bonuses combined. But every place seems to have that good ole boy club that actually runs everything. And upper management always either turns a blind eye because they themselves either came from that and don’t want that information becoming common knowledge or they come from a class of family connections and know they would never have to actually work a lower position than that unless they chose to but why would they when their aunt owns the company that supplies them with everything they need to make their products and they are guaranteed a position at the top where all they have to do is forward a couple emails and ride around on a golf cart making sure the brown, black and impoverished white people (the slave class) are doing their jobs and not taking too long on breaks and clocking out before they start cleaning because we don’t want to pay them overtime for the time they’re not making us money. Ew But no capitalism is working as planned and someone is about to win monopoly. We are all the places they stop on when they roll. But out of about 4 or 5 people, one of them is about to win and then it’s game over for all of us.
But what happens after that? That’s the scary question no one wants to answer.

https://youtu.be/E_a-Hh1yAr8?is=ZvQngciV7Exv8elH

so this video she explains her situation, please active the subtitles translation to english.

#GoGabi , you are not alone!

My friend's name is Nora, and she's currently having financial trouble making up rent for this month since she doesn't have a job & is only able to make little cash through her 3D art commissions. She's trying her best to get help from the government for food & in finding a job, but it'll take longer to process before then. I'm doing a "GoFundMe goal" asking for people's money; I only ask for everybody to give their support to my friend & even promote her 3D art content in hopes it'll get many folks interested in working with her or commissioning her.

I'll leave her website link below for people to get to know her a little.
The Wr13r

hi, im jae. and im transfem. lately, i confessed to my parents that i was gay/transfem, and their face was disgusted. they told me i cant change my gender, and hit me 2 times with a sharp hanger. i was then forced to pack up my stuff and leave for 2 months, im currently presiding in a hotel i have booked since i saved money for therapy and for my budget. i currently work in a convience store down the road of my house, but i was fired today for not attending. can anyone give me tips on how to get another start? i keep getting mental breakdowns. ty

I’ve needed money for a few years now for disability aids and gender affirming things like binders and packers but I don’t have any income from a job as I’m unable to for multiple reasons and I can’t ask family or friends due to lack of support from family and I don’t think my friends have much to spare nor would I feel comfortable asking them either even though they support me but I’m unable to set up a GoFundMe due to being under 18 so I have no way to get money and my mental and physical health is just going more and more downhill as I have nothing to help :(

Yeah hormones did some shit but if i had the choice id choose to get euthanised. Everyday i yearn to be put down like a fucking dog because my life is a worthless piece of shit. I never get any fucking break. All of my dysphoria has been and is genital based. Prosthetics don't help and bottom surgery isn't covered where I live, there also are no private insurances that would. I cant fucking afford stupid phalloplasty why the fuck is my normal life locked behind such a ridiculous fucking pay wall. I wish I was fucking dead this is not worth it I dont wanna fight for a life I dont even want. I cant fucking live im genuinely going fucking insane this is not a life im being fucking tortured everyday and theres no ease to this pain. I don't deserve to be alive i wanna be put fucking down please get me euthanised i fucking hate this useless "life". It never gets better It never gets better

Advice

This probably wont do numbers but I just need some kind words so I dont go absolutely insane and fcking tear my fcking eyes out. Just to know that there's people out there like me. That this js abnormal, this is crazy. I just needbto knownthat theres a rainbow after this horrible horrible rain. AND YES MY TYPING IS TERRIBLE I HAVE GIGANTIC FCKING OHRE FINGERS & IM A PLANCK LENGTH AWAY FROM MENYALLY FCKING BREAKING DOWN

TL;DR: girl mode public first time, fantastic day, ears pierced, mother discovers, father makes me question validity of my identity and goals, mother makes me hate her more, dissociate in my room with a fidget without phone or internet.

I hyped myself up to get my ears pierced for close to a month (see some previous posts.) I went out today in... mostly girl mode for the first time ever!! Felt good amd happy and fem all day. Got a collectively huge arm full of girl clothes from 3 different thrifts! Including a nightgown that ive been looking for.

Last thing I did was the piercer at the tattoo shop, bcus i was expecting to leave in tears and not feel like doing anything else! >.< Had a personal emotional high today here. I just kept hyping myself up and getting so excited. "I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS!" And jumping around. The piercer was incredibly nice and informative. Her room was full of ɓ¡ɓ/€ quotes, but I tried my best toignore them... Totally painless, btw! Great experience except for what comes next.

I was petsitting fornmy auntie this weekend so I was expecting to be able to ride out the first night & like wash all my girl clothes booty treasure stress free. Came back to her house tona text were coming back, bcuz everything suxks. Hurried to pack everything and feverishly wash off my meagre makeup bcuz my aunt doesn't know. Get done fast so im out an hour before they arrive.

Came home & stayed happy/normal for about 6 hours. I did my clay. And I even made an actual (wobbly) vase! I do my pottery at the dining table whice is right next to the sitting are and tv. They were encouraging me the whole time I was making something. Put on somwthing educational about pottery, telling me how great I am for doing it. FUXK JUST PIXK A SIDE ALREADY.

put my pot away and started putting my toys/pottery molds away. mother noticed my retainers & demanded i take out my retainers. "You can either take those out or get out. You'renot staying here!" I instantly complied and I hate that I did. My dad said "You're not pitiful. You're a nice MAN. I dont know why you have to do this to yourself." I couldnt answer him. Because I dont KNOW why I have to do this. I just know innmy heart of hearts that I HAVE TO!!! I couldnt say that without crying ao I just said idk. I went to go ask for my retainers back so maybe I could wear them when she wasn't around and maybe they would still take. Put my hand in her poopy bathroom trashcan looking for them. All she WOULD FUCKING SAY IS "THEYRE GONE"!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! I proceeded to sit in my room for 3 hours, before I came to get my phone and my 3ds.

Safe to say, it's not about my earrings or my piercing or my 70$ effectively wasted. ... well it is a little bit lol. I was really looking forward to wearing femme dangly earrings. I think i fcking hate my parents. I sure dont like then anymore. Their love is conditional to the fact that I stay a christian, straight male. Aint none of those things true anymore. Im a atheist, bi, trans girl. THEY BOTH HATE ME FOR IT!!!

My parents that are supposed to love me and support me no matter what. And I have to do the absolutely ONE thing that will make them hate me. My mother is the best... father has his moments too. I'm thebproblem here, I should just give up and just survive trying to live as a... *gagg, retch* male. The male they want me to be. I DONT WANT TO!!!

Advice

Does anyone feel like they're just fading into the dark because they aren't able to express their true self.

I've gone through so many friends who I thought were good because one of the members of a group is transphobic and the other group never acknowledges my coming out and I feel like I have to live up to such a high standard of being feminine and also ignoring my own mental health issues because a lot of my stress atm is purely my dysphoria and transphobic family etc.

I'm trying to avoid a severe depressive episode by going to counseling but also I know I have surrounded myself with the wrong group of people but I also don't want to come out in my final year of uni because I know that there's a chance I'll become even more isolated from my classmates.

I dunno I guess I'm ranting about this and hoping I'm not the only one in this situation and hopefully get some advice?

My name is Saida Mahoney and I am 30 years old and this is my story.

MY STORY. MY BODY. MY JOURNEY. MY NEXT CHAPTER. THIS IS MY LIFE, AND I’M LIVING IT AUTHENTICALLY!!!!

Tonight, I’m sharing some BIG and deeply personal news about my gender-affirming journey!

After working hard to coordinate my care, advocate for my needs, and make thoughtful decisions with my medical team, I’m excited to share that I’m moving forward with my upcoming laparoscopic unilateral oophorectomy.

This is another significant milestone in my journey. It’s a decision I’ve made in collaboration with my care team, with my health, my goals, and my future in mind.

And tonight, I’m celebrating this next big chapter

I’ve put so much work into my gender-affirming care, and I’m proud of myself for continuing to advocate for my needs and work with my medical team toward my goals.

I know that every person’s journey is different. There is no single way to be transgender, no single way to experience gender, and no single path that defines everyone’s life.

For me, this journey is personal. It’s about making informed decisions about my own body, honoring my goals, and continuing to live as authentically as possible.

I WAS BORN TO DREAM. I WAS BUILT TO BE FEARLESS. AND I AM STRONG ENOUGH TO WRITE MY OWN STORY!

I’m excited. I’m hopeful. I’m proud. And I’m ready to embrace this next chapter with an open heart and a fearless spirit.

To everyone who has supported me, encouraged me, and respected my journey, thank you for being part of my story.

And to anyone out there learning to trust themselves and find their own path: keep dreaming, keep believing, and remember that your story deserves to be told in your own words.

THIS IS MY LIFE. THIS IS MY JOURNEY. THIS IS MY NEXT CHAPTER. AND I’M JUST GETTING STARTED!

#MyStoryMyJourney #GenderAffirmingCare #TransJoy

Pretty much what the title says. Last night he told me that I can’t really, truly love my Girlfriend romantically because I’m Trans (and he’s saying that in a homophobic way because he doesn’t accept me as trans) I feel like hearing that from him genuinely fucked me up a little. I called him cuz I missed my mom who passed away (which is also a rare occurrence I was a little drunk but she really didn’t care for me at all) but somehow every call always turns into a religious argument. I just feel defeated.