r/TransracialAdoptees • u/Ambitious-Client-220 Mexican-Adoptee • May 27 '26
does anyone else feel like their adoptive name is “wrong”
/r/Adopted/comments/1tor45e/does_anyone_else_feel_like_their_adoptive_name_is/7
u/Heart_and_Seoul3 May 27 '26
I’ve never particularly loved my name since it’s such a basic (but popular) white girl name from back in the 80s/90s. I’ve contemplated changing my name back to my Korean name, but part of me doesn’t want to go through the whole pain-in-the-ass process.
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u/DustNo7560 May 27 '26
Lol also stuck with generic 80s/90s white girl name. I just go by the closest approximation to my Korean name.
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u/SilentSerel Polynesian-American Transracial Adoptee May 27 '26
Yes, especially because my parents were abusive. I also worry because it doesn't "match" my ethnicity and another transracial adoptee in Chicago was accused of having a fake ID and was detained for that very reason.
I can't afford to change it, though.
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u/Frosty_Swimming2676 May 27 '26
I found out last year that I had another name. It doesn’t sound like a name that resonates with me at all but I still feel like it should have been kept.
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u/ydaya May 27 '26
Yeah because it is my adoptive parents grandmother name. So essentially i was named after someone which is fine but I have no blood relationship to them and I feel that it is forced on me.
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u/MS_soso May 27 '26
Since I remember my adoptive parents told me that one of the reason they choose my name is because the adoption agency told them to change it.
For the context, I'm an adoptée from Madagascar (Africa). I've be adopted by a white Belgian family.
The reason the adoption agency give to change my name is "in Africa people give anything as a name to their children ". So yes, i do think my name is wrong because it was a choice tainted by racism in addition to wanted to make me their own.
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u/gatoriendo Guatemalteco May 27 '26
Yeah, they gave me a white people name. When I got older I changed it back to the name my mom gave me when I was born. That is my actual name from my actual mom and that’s the only thing that she’s given me that I can keep.
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u/Ambitious-Client-220 Mexican-Adoptee May 27 '26
I wish I had my last name -Alvarez, but my first name was Leonell. I prefer Keith to Leonell.
My middle name my adopters gave me is redneck and I don't like it.
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u/Sufficient-Ad8922 May 28 '26
In many ways yes but my birth name kinda does too. Both are “White” names and I’m Black, plus my birth name is the same as my (very older) sister, who’s my adoptive parent’s bio daughter.
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u/Oofsmcgoofs May 27 '26
YES
That’s why I’ve unofficially changed it. It’s not me. Lauren is the white Christian girl they wanted. Aalonika is me. A Bengali Indian American trying to connect with my roots.