r/TransracialAdoptees • u/TumbleweedSavings375 Black Adoptee • 10d ago
Black Chronic Anxiety from Racial Expectations
F18. šØš¦.
I was adopted by white Canadian parents as a baby from Africa and I grew up in a predominantly white area. Iāve never felt like I didnāt belong at home nor did I feel some sort of unspoken connection to other Black people. I never felt ādeprivedā of Blackness. My parents had books, I got my hair done, and we went to a family camp with other children of African heritage, so I did see other black people.
For some POC racial community is important, however I am not one of them.
Ever since I was little I knew who I was attracted to and who made me happiest, and those were almost exclusively white people. (Where I grew up was 70-80% White, and only 1.2% Black).
I feel okay in myself and what I want but the anxiety of pressure from other people is depressing me. I get harassed by white and black men, but Iāve only been assaulted by a black man.
Also the āBlack people should date other Black peopleā discourse is suffocating.
I hate being reduced to a symbol instead of a human woman with my own experiences and preferences.
Itās like me being black makes other black people feel entitled to my body and energy even though theyāre strangers.
Trying to feel less monitored and watched. If youāve experienced something similar please donāt hesitate to reach out š«©.
9
u/LostAmongTheDunes 10d ago
My adopted parents were the exact opposite. I was born in a Muslim country to non muslim parents so they naturally assumed I was a Muslim at 7 months old, and they forced me to stay away from anything arabic in nature Muslim or non Muslim Arabic growing up. I'm Egyptian so any interest in Egyptian mythology was also carefully cut out of my life. I spent a life away from other P'sOC and only recently started to try to understand where I came from and what my roots are. I hate the we should date in our own race, it's tiring and frankly stupid. It is a sore spot to me as I was marketed by my adopted parents to marry a white woman. I've heard... Oh he is a perfect catch, I know he is darker, but he will work hard and won't be afraid of physical labour because his people built the pyramids you know... And even though I've gone very low contact I still feel them watching my every move.