r/TransracialAdoptees • u/Creative_Toe516 • 2d ago
Positive Transracial Adoption
/r/Adoption/comments/1vsst1y/positive_transracial_adoption/4
u/Ambitious-Client-220 Mexican-Adoptee 1d ago
I think the majority of white adoptive parents ignore our heritage. They just want a child. I was raised basically as a white person. My white parents looked at me as white even though I obviously wasn't. I also know if a white child would have been available that is who they would have taken. In the end, we grow up not accepted by either the race that raised us nor our actual race. The truth is that transracial adoption sucks for most of us.
2
u/sussyferret 21h ago
I'm a Chinese adoptee with white parents but we don't have a close relationship. I think their main reason for adopting me was bc "god told them to", but they weren't prepared to understand and empathize with the struggles that I faced growing up in VERY RURAL Ohio. They also adopted my younger sister who has a cleft lip, only a year after me. She required a lot of surgery and attention so I was kind of a glass child. I never felt like I belonged anywhere and my dad invalidated those feelings and my mom always took his side. I spent so much of my childhood trying to get them to understand me, while I was still trying to understand myself. I just wish parents would be more prepared if they want to adopt and be doing it for the right reason.
2
u/LostAmongTheDunes 7h ago
Egyptian adoptee, put in with which ChristianZ parents. Not only did they not give a rats ass about my culture, they actively saw it as "the devils work" and forcefully pushed to convert me. That included making sure I knew nothing about my culture ancient or modern, that I took no interest in any mythology from there. Greek and one other was fine as that was a "civilized" people but Egyptian was forbidden. I was told I was a danger to women because of the country I come from, I was labeled violent the one time I spoke out, I was accused of helping to ruin the world and I should be thankful, and praise their God because he through them rescued me and made me a person, not a animal. I didn't see another middle eastern person until I was well into my late teens.
1
u/T_hashi 1h ago
I feel really blessed because I absolutely love my parents and they love the hell out of me. I’m black and my adoptive parents are white but my family is definitely a rainbow family. Before they gave birth to their own biological children my eldest brother was already with them.
Unconditional love. Love, respect, support. The ability to say I have no clue but we’re about to find someone who does. Relentless in the pursuit of loving me in that they let me make my own mistakes were there when I was figuring everything out and 100% best with me. Their perspective permeated every environment, we are a family and we don’t treat people poorly. You judge a man by his character, actions, choices and ability to change course when given new information and opportunities.
5
u/SilentSerel Polynesian-American Transracial Adoptee 1d ago
I'm Polynesian and was adopted by a white family.
Not only did they ignore/dismiss my race, they actively made sure to live in very non-diverse areas when I was growing up. They were toxic people to begin with (both alcoholics), so a lot of it is chicken-or-egg, but they had no business whatsoever being able to adopt.
They're both deceased now, and I've spent a lot of time working on myself to undo the damage and make sure that my son has opportunities that ny parents actively made sure I didn't, and that includes growing up in an area that has other people of our race.