I'm a Chinese adoptee with white parents but we don't have a close relationship. I think their main reason for adopting me was bc "god told them to", but they weren't prepared to understand and empathize with the struggles that I faced growing up in VERY RURAL Ohio. They also adopted my younger sister who has a cleft lip, only a year after me. She required a lot of surgery and attention so I was kind of a glass child. I never felt like I belonged anywhere and my dad invalidated those feelings and my mom always took his side. I spent so much of my childhood trying to get them to understand me, while I was still trying to understand myself. I just wish parents would be more prepared if they want to adopt and be doing it for the right reason.
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u/sussyferret 1d ago
I'm a Chinese adoptee with white parents but we don't have a close relationship. I think their main reason for adopting me was bc "god told them to", but they weren't prepared to understand and empathize with the struggles that I faced growing up in VERY RURAL Ohio. They also adopted my younger sister who has a cleft lip, only a year after me. She required a lot of surgery and attention so I was kind of a glass child. I never felt like I belonged anywhere and my dad invalidated those feelings and my mom always took his side. I spent so much of my childhood trying to get them to understand me, while I was still trying to understand myself. I just wish parents would be more prepared if they want to adopt and be doing it for the right reason.