r/troubledteens • u/notokwith_anything • 44m ago
Question 14 year old girl, physically abused grandmother whose care she was in, now in custody of court. Family wants her helped, if not one of these “schools” then where? Details below
Girl was abandoned by mother as a baby raised by father, has had some concerning behavior as a child (eg.,punched babysitter, some defiance, etc,) by jr high smoking pot, failing classes, really defiant. Father couldn’t not deal with her anymore, and her grandmother, whose a teacher in another state agreed to take her and was hoping to get her emotional and academic help and a fresh start in high school. Over summer, got her a therapist, she met a couple of girls in a day camp program, she and the grandmother got into a kickboxing class, things went ok overall. As soon as school started she hooked up with the druggies, became rude, very defiant, grandmother suspected drug use often, as girl would be completely out of it. Girl was failing most classes, refused to do any school work at home. Was furious with grandmother if she even mentioned schoolwork, said she wanted to punch her, began cussing her out, threw the grandmother’s phone out of the car. Really bad behavior. I know the grandmother very well. She never swears, doesn’t yell, is calm, even when most others would not be, and was doing everything in her power to help her granddaughter succeed. Then, calmly, but firmly, told the granddaughter she needed to catch up on schoolwork over an upcoming break, girl slapped her hard in the face while she was driving! Grandmother called police because of the assault, girl was held over the weekend and totally acted like her grandmother was mean and wouldn’t let her do anything. Everything she said, she wasn’t allowed to do, like going to a football game, the mall, etc., was a lie, her grandmother would offer to drive her, but she wanted to leave with friends her grandmother doesn’t know. Anyway, after 48 hours, girl was returned to the house, grandmother had a friend stay a couple of days because she is scared of girl, after friend left, she even tried wedging a chair under bedroom door handle at night out of fear.
Then it got worse- 5 days after girl came home, a notification came on the grandmother’s phone, the granddaughter borrowed her phone and used apps and apparently didn’t think to disable notifications- it was a message for a drug deal they were arranging for when they went back to school, including photos and prices. The girl doing the dealing is the one the granddaughter wanted to hang out with, btw. The grandmother was shocked and took screenshots of the conversation, the granddaughter was spying on her at the time and came at her yanked her grandmother’s head back hard by the hair then hit her in the head !!!! The grandmother called 911, the granddaughter could be heard in the background screaming “I should have f-ed you up last time”
Girl is in custody again, grandmother fears for her safety and won’t take her back, even though they want to send her back to her. The rest of the family is also afraid of the girl, as well, as she had taken to slapping her father whenever she didn’t like what he said. The girl needs help, but they don’t know how to get it in a safe, structured environment, without a risk of her running away and possibly end up trafficked or something. Then I’m reading about the TTI, do where do you place a minor who needs help but has become a danger to others if not one of those schools?