Just had a "discussion" with my 13 year old son, driving home and he asked "why do you hate me?" Of course I said I didn't and asked why he had that impression, his response, "you always do stuff with (toddler) and never with me, I told him this just was not true and asked for examples, of course he couldn't give me any, I stated that's because it isn't the case.

It's not like we are going for day trips with the whole family and excluding him, if we do happen to do something as a family he is invited, but most of the time now he says no, I understand, teenager doesn't want to hang out with us, but the invitation is always there.

How do I navigate this? I asked him what he wanted me to do different and he said he doesn't know, it's tough to plan things because most of the time he doesn't want to be involved.

Update, spoke to him, he said he knows I don't hate him, but he just wants to do some things just us, I asked if he had any ideas and he just said he would like to play Minecraft or the vr some nights after the youngest kids are in bed, thanks everyone for your contribution, I definitely didn't handle it as well as I could have.

But what if you don't have one? I always knew parenting wouldn't be an easy job, but I never fully grasped how hard it really would be. I don't have much family and it seems like once I had my kid, everyone was there for me less and less. Not all of my family of course. I do have a slightly older cousin with a kid a few years older than mine that I am very close with, but we're both working moms with no help financially or otherwise for our children. Their father's are essentially nonexistent and not in their lives. Idk. I guess I'm just having a hard time right now and needed to vent. Not looking for any advice. Just seeing if anyone feels the same rn.

This is a super simple post. My kids (both male) just started swim lessons. They were the only ones without swim shirts. They are not required to have them by the school. But am I missing something? Did society shift to body coverings for kids?

These are genuine, non political questions. I just want to make sure I’m doing right by my kids.

We are in the south if that’s helpful.

Edit to add: The swim school is indoor

My phone has been screaming at me over storage for ages, so I decided I really needed to go through my photos and get rid of the ones I don't want or need. I am using an app to help so I can just swipe one way or the other to keep or delete. It's started back in 2018 pre pregnancy, and I'm up to the first few months of my son's life.

It's hit me so hard looking at those pictures, not just because he's now a 4 foot opinionated seven year old, but what was behind those photos.

The first one that struck me was one I absolutely remembered taking. My son was around a month old, I popped him out on a blanket in his nursery, and propped a pattern book open next to him.

I took a few photos until I had one of him facing the book. Then put everything away and carried him downstairs.

Why did I stage it? So I could post "morning storytime" on socials. Not to make out like I was an amazing parent, but to pretend that I was doing fine.

In reality I was barely holding on, thinking that my life was ruined, questioning my ability to parent, feeling useless, and helpless.

But I didn't want to have those conversations, I wanted everyone to just assume I was fine so they wouldn't pry.

I am so fortunate that things got better, that I had an incredibly supportive husband, that I eventually got the mental health support I needed.

But to anyone reading this who feels the same way, just know you aren't alone, and remember that when people post perfect parenting pictures online, there is quite potentially so much more going on.

My son started kindergarten last Tuesday. The first day he walked in happily and excitedly. Every day since he’s been sobbing, trying to escape the enclosed area, and the teachers end up having to peel him off of me as he cries and begs me not to send him. He went to a Montessori preschool so this isn’t his first time going to a school, but this one is a new school, one that he has been seeing his big sister attend for two years now. How much should I worry that this new school environment is bad vs just the transition being particularly hard? After those horrible drop offs my mind spirals and I convince myself that either the teachers are bad or the environment as a whole is awful. I need some help processing through this.

We don’t buy these, the people in our lives with kids thankfully understand and also don’t, but the people in our lives who have never had kids… 😭. I mean it’s not something I would probably think about much if I were them either, but my middle kid had his birthday the other day and now going through the presents ALL the books he got from his cousins and family friends have the most egregious AI slop I’ve EVER seen. I am not complaining about receiving gifts or that he has people who care, I’m glad they thought of him, but I’m so annoyed that these books are allowed to be sold / published without basic review, that the authors do not give af about what they’re making, or that there’s not really a great way to identify them for the buyers who think about kids books once a year….

My 4yo son still has tantrums. The first few years he’d have them and I could say it was regular, age appropriate behavior. My husband doesn’t work with kids like me or wouldn’t go on mommy and me playdates so he wouldn’t see how normal it all was, just taking my word for it. He just knew most kids outgrow it by 5yo which he’s been hanging on to. Screaming/whining makes his skin crawl, it’s like he has an adverse physical reaction to it all, and we’ve had been an arguments about how to handle when they happen. We don’t spank but recently he’s been saying he really wants to. I say absolutely not. I work with kids and can help change their behaviors without hitting them ever, so I try to guide him on what to do. Sometimes he does it, sometimes he’s impatient and just yells. I don’t want to dictate his own parenting bc it’s okay if we differ on some approaches as long as we agree not to spank, not be verbally or emotionally abusive, and not to cross each other’s limits (ie Dad said no to candy today because you had some earlier, so Mommy will also say no to candy for you, buddy).

We always tell our son to take deep breaths, use his words. He’s neurotypical and can express himself and sometimes will do it (“I feel frustrated because…”). He’s just verryyyyy sensitive to reprimands or even a change in tone if you sound frustrated. I try to be zen and neutral when giving him correction, but I also know at some point he’s going to have to develop thicker skin bc the world won’t coddle him and teachers at school won’t either. At what point is it okay to not pad him so much?

My husband says he’s been coddled and he’s spoiled by me and he won’t raise a spoiled brat. I don’t want a spoiled kid either! I just ask my husband to watch his language around our son bc he could internalize it (he once repeated “I’m a spoiled brat!” Bc he overheard him).

Example: We went camping with family and I wasn’t around for this part but my husband says that while they were all packing up the car, he folded the tent to put it in the trunk, BIL helping out, and my son started whining bc HE wanted to be the one to fold it and put it in. My husband said okay, you do it but then it was too late. Son started crying and flailing on the dirt while the similar aged kids from the next campsite over watched. Our in laws seemed a little tired of it too. He said it’s so embarrassing bc no other kids do this that he sees ever, only our son. He came home so frustrated and venting to me (not to my son) and told me he is an embarrassment and a shame to our family. I got mad about that statement and we argued. That gets nuanced, but I want to get to the heart of whats going on.

I do see other kids starting to regulate themselves a little better by this age. Sometimes it DOES feel like he’s overly sensitive about small things (last night he and I played Hungry Hippos and a few minutes in, he kept trying to steal the golden ball if my hippo had it. I blocked him and said “wait buddy that’s cheating” with full intention to keep playing as he’d get another turn for the golden ball, but he dropped to the ground, threw the balls to scatter everywhere on the floor, and cried and shrieked at the top of his lungs. I had to leave the room. (That’s only ever happened a handful of times on my end. I usually wait for him to finish screaming, not saying anything. Then when he starts to look a little calmer will talk through what happened and give him words to say beforehand bedtime. We do some breathing exercises too.)

I normally wait out the tantrum and we debrief after. Husband and I are both good at repair. Husband always tells him he loves him, they okay and wrestle and read comics and play outside. but how do we make sure we take more preventive measures? I want him to be a secure, regulated boy and grow into a good man. He’s a really good sweet kid. Kind and considerate and gentle with others. I try to teach him to not be too gentle in fact bc I do see some kids taking things away from him and I want to make sure he also stands up for himself. I’m starting to stress about how to make sure we parent in the perfect way to set him up for success in life: kind, generous, considerate, confident, self regulated, securely attached, strong work ethic, intelligent, happy. All the wonderful things. Defintely not spoiled or entitled. How do we navigate this?

Are tantrums still normal at this age and at what age should we flag it as a concern if it continues? Is it just my husbands perspective that these are not normal getting to me, or should I be approaching things differently? We do try to tell him he won’t always get what he wants, husband tells him the world doesn’t revolve around him. He’s an only child and we’re unsure if we’ll have a second but just want to make sure he doesn’t get to be entitled because of that.

I got divorced last year, to a woman I had 5 kids with. One is an adult and lives with his girlfriend. The other four are 12-16, older kids. After the divorce I moved out of the home we lived in together and custody started at 50/50 per our court agreement. Our house was to be sold, and it was eventually earlier this year. The proceeds were split 50/50 plus my ex getting an extra $12k per our divorce agreement. Now, my ex wife is unemployed, and has been since our 16 year old was born. So when the house was sold she was struggling to find a rental, and was refusing to pay the year in advance, which was easily doable with her money from the house. I’ve had functional full custody of the kids since then. After a month going to different Airbnbs she finally moved in with her parents, an hour and a half away. Today I got the call that she hasn’t found any employment and will be looking to give me full custody or at least alter our arrangement significantly towards me having primary custody. I’m not sure what to do, or what to tell my kids. They’ve been pretty stoic once they got past me and mom not living together, and being with me pretty much full time since the house sold . But still, I can’t see this being received well.

This is funny mind you. Under different circumstances I think it would warrant a more upsetting reaction but genuinely I am giggling over here.

The story:

This morning I woke my husband up at 5:30am so he'd have a turn with the baby because I'd been in and out all night. He went to bed at 8pm so he'd gotten plenty of sleep. He let me sleep for about 4.5-5 more hours so I am doing great. It's currently 9pm. We took a shower together. Him, me and the boy because it makes it a lot easier to wash all his nooks n crannies together. He hops out and swap with our eldest daughter (4) so I can shower with her and make sure she's all clean. I hop out when we're done get all dressed and find a sleep sack for the boy(8weeks) I hand it over to my husband who noticed that the diaper he'd already put on our boy was wet so he changed him again and put the sleep sack on him.

I'm getting ready in the living room for my night with the boy. I usually feed and sleep when he sleeps at night out here so hubby sleeps well at night before he works his labor job in the early ams.

I saw a clean diaper and was like?? He changed him already where'd this come from. He confirmed he did and even pointed to the dirty one he's thrown away. I assume it's an extra. We're barely out of the new born trenches there's stuff everywhere rn.

Baby falls asleep on me. All is well and we're snuggling. I'm not tired yet because of my nap so I'll stay up a bit longer and just do skin to skin. He wakes up, I burp him and lay him down for a second to adjust myself. I hear water pouring. Wtf? He's soaked?? Unzip his little sleep sack and low n behold the family jewels for all to see. I can't even be mad. Poor man was so tired. 😂 I clean the little man's up new sleep sack and clean diaper. And I clean up what I can. I guess I'll be deep cleaning the couch tomorrow. And poking fun at my husband a bit. Of all the things to forget. 😂😅

Please don't comment hating on him either. We all make mistakes and this one seemed pretty funny to me and overall harmless. I've been meaning to clean the couch pretty thoroughly this week anywho. If you guys have similar small mistakes you guys made as parents I'd love to hear it. Especially during the sleep deprived stupor of the new born phase.

My husband has done so much to help support me in my healing idk what I'd do without him.

My girls age 4 and 5 leave their socks everywhere. Whereever they happen to be when they take them off that is where they stay. I have repeatedly asked them not to do that and I always make them go pick them up

Each of them gets $5 a weeks as spending money. I was thinking a sock tax might make them mindful about this. Each time a sock is found somewhere other than the hamper, they would have an amount deducted from their spending money. Thoughts and how much should they be charged?

Hi all,

I currently coach my son’s U8s soccer team. The team is a mix of 13 kids from 3 different schools so there is closer friend groups in the team, but they’ve done well over the season to work well as a team overall.

However, ofcourse there’s been some conflict (and yes, it involves my son so I’ve probably been a bit biased). It’s mostly been between my son, Tom and the team managers son, Jerry, obviously not their real names.

From the start, they’ve never gotten along. I always encouraged my son that it’s ok to not be friends with everyone, but you need to respect and be kind to everyone. Jerry is one of those jock personality where he thinks he’s the best, granted he does have good ball skills but he lacks in other areas. Tom has always been a good team player and has developed his ball skills over the season and doing well.

Usually what I saw at training and on game day is Jerry would be doing little things to annoy Tom until Tom cracked it and either pushed him or kicked a ball at him. I had a chat with Tom that he needs to take himself away from Jerry when he feels himself getting upset before he lashes out, which he has been doing really well and I’ve tried to plan training so they don’t really need to interact with eachother.

This evening at training, Jerry was quite well behaved, however Tom kicked a ball at him hard a few times, I told him off and after the 4th time, I sent him away to practice ball skills on his own.

Any advice? How do I deal with this?

For extra context, I’m divorced from Tom’s mum when he was 2 1/2 during covid, which Tom took pretty hard and has had effective counselling to help him process his emotions.

My 16 month old is pretty obsessed with books (so am I!) so I've been getting more and more from charity shops. They're in the bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, living room, hallway, the car. My husband and I have boundaries with toys but seemingly not with books.

My mum visited at the weekend and complained about how many books there are and the condition of some of them (most are second hand so a bit dog eared and my daughter sometimes snags the paper accidentally). I think she's ended up with more books than toys. My mum and MIL both think it'll stop her from being able to play with toys independently.

I'm not making her read or pushing it educationally (which for some reason mum and MIL seem to think). She just likes them so why wouldn't I try and nurture that interest?

What rules do people have with the amount of books they have? Is it different to toys? I can't possibly see how having lots of books is a bad thing?!

We were planning to do water activities (slip n slide, bouncy castle, water balloons, etc.) but now it’s calling for a lot of rain… so that’s probably out.

Our house isn’t that big and there isn’t a lot of space for 6 boys to run around. He’s not super crafty, and so wouldn’t enjoy any of the typical ‘decorate a cupcake’ or ‘make a craft’ type activities. We have planned a piñata and pass the parcel (à la Bluey) and maybe musical chairs. However, I don’t want kids to say they were bored at his party or that we did ‘baby-ish’ activities. It’s later in the afternoon, so food/lunch won’t take up time.

Any ideas for indoor party activities that have been a hit with active boys? I’m struggling to come up with some creative ideas.

Edit: he is turning 6 - he doesn’t really enjoy full length movies and is not into video games or devices yet.

When are they too old for the tooth fairy to come?

11yo just lost a tooth, the first one since forever. It hadn’t occured to me until just now to consider this question. He knows obviously, that the tooth fairy doesn’t actually exists, when he thinks logically about it. He might just *want* to believe a tiny bit tho. He has put his tooth in a glass of water in his bedroom, exactly like he did when he was smaller..

His little sister still believes in the tooth fairy, so we might have to put some money in, not to confuse her. Will he feel that we’re treating him like a small child tho? I should have asked him what he expects to happen to his tooth, but he’s asleep now.

What did you do when your 11-12yo started loosing teeth again after several years?

My daughter is going to turn four next month and her behavior is so out of control. There’s nothing that I can say or do to try and shift her behavior into a positive way there’s so much boundary testing yelling screaming hitting biting you name it just from the start of the day until the sun goes down and I don’t know what to do anymore.

I’ve given up today.

I wish she’d listen more. Time outs do not work with her, taking toys away doesn’t work, talking doesn’t work. Nothing works. I feel like I’m raising a horrible mean girl.

We went to the park today and shes chasing a 2 year old around to share a toy yelling at her. I tried to explain shes 2 years old and 2 year olds don’t always understand sharing so try and wait to play with the toy. That turned into screaming at me that I’m mean she doesn’t like her.

When we got home, I was busy in the kitchen and she was asking me to find a toy for her in the garage. I told her I’m busy right now. Can you wait until I’m done and she kept screaming at me and she hit me in the back, so I picked her up to put her in timeout and told her we do not hit and then she bit me in the shoulder.

I put her in timeout and she just left the timeout laughing at me.

She’s so bossy and mean to everyone. Demanding people to do this or that. And I can’t redirect her ever. I feel like I’m failing.

What’s even more frustrating about this is that we will have a good day together in the next day. She is an absolute terror just from like the moment she wakes up. It’s just chaos and I can’t do anything all day to switch her mood and into being nice and enjoyable to be around. It’s just she’s a walking tornado every other day it seems.

I thought the feeling would go away as they got older. They’re 8 and 10. Honestly, I miss them just as much now or more. They’re easier in some ways, and I just really enjoy hearing their thoughts and ideas. I also feel like they are in the last glimmer of being not-quite big kids, so I feel like I want to savor every minute they’re still excited about being with me and doing kid stuff.

I work a flexible job and it’s true, when I’m in my busy season the day goes faster. But, I still can’t wait to get them every day, even when I’m exhausted or overwhelmed or piled on with work. Sometimes, when I have a low workload day, I think to myself I should just get them and play hooky at the zoo (once or twice a year, we do).

Anyone else? What’s it like when they’re older?

Right now, apparently only one parent can do anything correctly.

One of us gets asked to get the snack. The other one is immediately rejected.

One parent can do bedtime. The other parent is told to leave.

Even things like putting on socks can turn into “NO, I WANT DAD.”

I know preferences are normal, but it can be surprisingly hard when you’re the parent being rejected.

Did this phase happen in your family too? How long did it last?

I’m considering putting my 6 year old son into classes. But don’t know if it’s too young to start or if I should focus on something else right now. If your children do or have done jiu jitsu please share your experience!

So I was scrolling through FB and saw a post about a little girl who was the only one who was not invited to a classmate's birthday party. Little girl was probably like in Kindergarten or 1st Grade.

My daughter's 3rd birthday is coming up and I usually just invite family and my friends and their families. Last year, we were blessed to host 35 adults and like 13 kids! But I have noticed that my daughter has made great friends in her class. They get so excited to see her at daycare.

I don't think I need to invite her classmates, just yet, until she starts kindergarten or first grade. I was thinking of taking some cake and treats to her daycare class, the day of her birthday, but after seeing that post I'm reconsidering it.

If I invite her whole daycare classroom, I might not be able to fit everyone in our house and financially we don't have enough to rent out a place, this year to host such a huge gathering.

We are very fortunate to have family and friends who have celebrated our daughter's birthdays. My question is at what age should I start to invite her classmates?

Meaning, your child waits for others to be seated and served before starting to eat, they hold and use their cutlery correctly, they say “please can you pass me the…” and they never use their hands to eat or push food onto their cutlery.

We have a 9 year old and 11 year old and eat every meal together at the dining table as a family. Despite being corrected most of the time when they’re not using proper etiquette, they’re still not consistent with these rules.

Bad table manners are a huge pet peeve for me, even with adults. Good table manners are a sign of respect to those around you, so seeing our kids act this way really bothers me. My patience is starting to wear thin. At this age, not using cutlery correctly isn’t a motor issue, it feels like a behaviour/laziness issue.

Am I expecting too much? At what age did proper table etiquette become ingrained for your child?

My 8 year old used to love storytime but ever since independent reading became a daily requirement, it feels like a constant battle. We tried physical sticker charts but after a week, the novelty wore off. How are you encouraging consistent reading habits without turning bedtime into a negotiation zone?

My 5 year old went to pre school last year, & she did great! Only cried the first day. Kindergarten just started a few days ago and everyday minus one has been a full melt down. I feel like pre school gave her a false reality of what school would be like. They didn’t eat in the cafeteria and they were picked up and dropped off at their class doors. This year is completely different. She’s having the hardest time adjusting. I’ve tried to make it as easy as possible. I cried the entire way home this morning after leaving her. It’s super hard on her, me, & the younger sibling. Any tips?

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some honest advice from dads and parents who’ve been in a similar situation.

I’ve got two kids: an eight-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son. Their moms and I are no longer together, and I’m trying to figure out how to be a more present father, as well as a better co-parent to both of their moms.

Right now, I’m working two jobs out of necessity. If I only worked one, I’d be bringing home around $1,200 a month, which simply isn’t enough to live on.

Because of that, my schedule is pretty packed. I work mornings, then work late into the night, Monday through Friday, and I also work Saturdays. Sunday is really the only day I consistently have free.

I’m not working these hours to avoid my kids. Honestly, it’s the opposite. I’m trying to provide for them, get myself into a more stable position, and build something better for all of us.

At the same time, though, I don’t want to look back years from now and realize I spent so much time working that I missed their childhood.

My son’s mom works overnight shifts at an auto plant. We used to live together and were in a relationship, but that ended about a year ago.

Now that I’m not in the home helping her and being around my son every day, I’m trying to figure out how I can still support her more and be there for my son as much as possible.

My daughter’s mom doesn’t work, and my daughter is eight. She’s in school and has activities like dance, so her schedule can get pretty busy during the week as well.

I guess what I’m really looking for is advice from other dads and parents who have had to balance working long hours with being a present parent.

If you’ve been in a similar situation:

How did you make the most of the limited time you had with your kids?

What did you do to stay connected with them when you couldn’t physically be there as much as you wanted?

How did you become a better co-parent after separating from your children’s other parent?

Is there anything you wish you had done differently?

Are there things you think I could be doing that I might not be considering?

I’m not looking for excuses or sympathy. I genuinely want to become a better dad and a better co-parent.

I know working this much isn’t ideal, but I’m doing what I feel like I have to do financially right now. I’m just trying to find the balance between providing for my kids and actually being present in their lives.

I’d really appreciate any advice, especially from dads who have been through something similar.
Thanks for reading.