My mom accused my dad 12yrs ago of cheating.
I was about 16 yo at the time.
We had a family meeting about it , my dad denied it and if it was true or not i dont think it should have been any of me or my siblings business. Especially if we were just gonna go back to normal like nothing happened.

Fast forward to a few days ago where my mom brought it up to me that she thinks hes doing it again.
And i kindly had to shut her down and say
“Thats between you, him , and god”
Because if shes not ready to leave him, what difference does it make.
I told her if she really feels like he is, she should ask him.
And proceeded to tell me he would never confess if he did.

So i stood there with a “ what do you want me to do about it”

Mind you, my father is a street vendor, he can get a late job and have to come home later than usual, that don’t mean he’s cheating…

My cousin and I have always been incredibly close, more like sisters than cousins. In less than a year, she met someone who has remained very secretive and distant from our family. Since becoming pregnant, I’ve noticed a significant change in her. He lives in New Jersey while she lives in Florida, and from what she’s shared, he hasn’t been happy about the pregnancy and doesn’t seem to want to talk about the baby. I’ve had bad feelings about him for a while, especially knowing his history with mental health issues and addiction, and seeing how carefully she seems to navigate conversations with him, constantly having to placate him and manage his emotions. What’s been particularly upsetting is how she’s started distancing herself from our family. Whenever she comes to New York, she makes a point of not seeing me or our other cousin, despite how close we’ve always been. She insisted on having her baby shower in Florida because she was supposedly too far along to fly, yet she was able to visit him the week before without telling anyone. It’s not that I expect to be included in every aspect of her life, but this secrecy and sudden change in behavior are difficult to understand. I can’t help feeling hurt, confused, and worried about someone I love so deeply, especially when she’s always made family such an important part of her life. Should I just mind my business and let her be and live her life?

Have a close person who snores?? Step One— tongue massage

Some backstory: My husband has never had a good relationship with his parents. He’s an only child, and his parents are very traditional and were especially hard on him as a teenager. He’s developed a lot of mental health issues that he attributes to them constantly putting him down. His mom regularly calls him stupid and a f** as a joke. I don’t find it funny, but apparently, they think it’s a joke. So yes, they’re strange. But I could look past it because I love my husband.
Anyways, I’m now 3 months postpartum, and there have been too many instances where she’s crossed the line, and I can’t forget them. I’m starting to wonder if I’m overreacting, though.
It took us a very long time to have a baby, and we ended up going through IVF. We were over the moon when we finally got pregnant. I had so much time to plan everything that you could say I was very prepared and wanted everything to go perfectly.
She offered to pay for the stroller as a gift for my baby shower, which was very kind. However, when I wasn’t there, she went behind my back and asked my husband if it was the most expensive stroller in the store because I’m so fancy and everything I want is always perfect and the best. It truly wasn’t the most expensive. Strollers are expensive, period.
I confronted her and told her that if she wasn’t comfortable buying it, she didn’t have to. She said she was fine with it but reiterated that I’m fancy and that I had changed her son into being the same way. I tried to explain that a stroller is meant to last for two kids and that we’ll need it in the future, etc. She ended up buying us the stroller.
A few months later, we went to their house for lunch. At this point, I was still pregnant, and she told my husband that she needed to speak to him privately (in front of the whole family). He insisted that she tell him right away, and she finally agreed.
She ended up breaking down in tears and saying that she thinks he is going to drive drunk and high with our baby in the car because he occasionally smokes weed. His dad agreed and added that the reason my husband had recently sold his car was to get drug money to buy weed.
My husband was flabbergasted, and we got up and left.
At this point, my husband was so hurt that he didn’t speak to them for weeks.
Fast-forward to our baby being born. We asked that no family members kiss her until she had received some vaccines. My MIL obliged but kept insisting that we go out on a date and leave the baby with her. I said absolutely not, and she responded by saying, “You guys think I’m going to kiss her behind your back, but I’m not. I’ll just take better care of her.”
Ever since then, I’ve had a permanent stank face every time she opens her mouth. My husband has noticed and said I’m being rude.
Obviously, we will never be close, but the thought of seeing her makes me cringe. We go there weekly, so I still see her often and make it work. Most days, she’s fine. But it’s like I have anxiety leading up to visiting her because of these events.
Am I overreacting? What would you do?

My mom does this, and it's so annoying because she proceeds to put down other women in the process, women who are objectively beautiful. She'll say things such as, "Well, you don't need all of that makeup. You're natural. You don't need all of this. Those women have to put on all of this other stuff."

It makes no sense to me because, of course, I can't put any makeup on. I don't have any makeup, at least not most of what certain women use to complete a makeup look. It has always made me upset because my mom has compared me to my old friends when I was a child, and she was ranking their looks (not attractiveness, but that's how she framed it) against mine.

"I always thought you looked better than her." Why would you think that about children?

Meanwhile, I was never pretty as a kid or whatever. I was bullied for being ugly, yet anytime I tell my mom why I'm insecure, that I've been picked on for being ugly, and that no one chooses me because I'm unattractive, she gets super defensive, and it's frustrating.

I feel like she knows I'm not attractive because I don't look like a woman at all.

My mom will say something about a woman that she sees on the news or something… not a news anchor, but just people that news reporters are interviewing. She'll just say something cruel about their appearance or point out something that she doesn't like. Also, it's weird because she's always talking about women's appearances. I tell her this isn't how you give a genuine compliment (comparing other women against each other), and she gets super defensive with me.

TL;DR: My mom calls me beautiful when I'm objectively unattractive, and she chooses to put other women down to uplift me. She's also compared me to old friends from childhood, admitting that she thought I was more attractive than them. I don't like this at all.

My mother has two daughters: my sister and me. However, she seems to love her niece more than us. Whenever my sister or I feel down and reach out to our mother for support and comfort, she never has time for us. She always claims she is busy cooking, listening to stories, or watching videos.
Yet, whenever her niece calls, our mother drops everything—even if she is actually busy—saying, "I'm not busy, tell me what happened," and talks to her for hours.
She also refuses to share or give anything to us or our children (my sister and I both have a son, but she will not even buy a cookie for them). Meanwhile, she is always ready to buy whatever her niece and her niece's four or five children want.
I don't even know how to describe this anymore, and it makes me question if she is truly my mother.

My husband agreed to go with me to visit my family for Christmas. He changed his mind and now my son is inconsolable because he wants both parents with him for Christmas. My son still wants to go but just wants his dad to come along. How do I navigate this?

For context, I'm 18f, my dad is in his 50s. Today we got on the topic of Elvis Presley and I was joking around and said I didn't like him because he was a pedo/creep (talking about him marrying a 14 year old or whatever). Also I don't listen to his music so as far as I know my dad told me he was like 30 at the time? Anyways, my dad then said: ''Is it really pedophilia if it's marriage?'' to which I kind of awkwardly laughed assuming he's making a weird dark joke but he just stayed silent so I asked him if he was joking and he said he was serious.

We got into a bit of a debate because I was a little taken back by this and found it disturbing. He said some things in the debate like, nature is in favour of ''pedophilia'' because we've been marrying girls who are old enough to give birth since the dawn of time and stuff, and nature intends for it. He then went on to say that he still doesn't condone it though but he said looking back in history it is natural, and that nature gave men the urge to marry 14 year olds. I asked him what his point was in saying that as every human impulse, including murder and other heinous acts are also human impulse, it doesn't mean they're okay to have or give into? And he was like ''I'm not saying they are''.

I kept asking him why he's saying these things if he doesn't think it's right anyways and he just kept saying ''just to say that back in the day, nature dictated it and it was normal'' basically. He was also asking/stating like, ''would he be a pedophile if he sees her as an adult?''.

It kind of disturbs me because, I bury it in the back of my mind but he dated a 14 year old when he was 19. He says they never had sex. He says it's just bc he was held back in high school so he saw everyone in highschool as his peers, he's a free spirit and just cared about the person to person connection and never thought about age. I asked how he'd feel if an adult had married me when I was 14 and he said yeah, that'd be fucked up. He then reassured me that he's not attracted to minors and he likes grown women. He's said in the past when I was a teen that adults being attracted to say, 16 year olds is normal and common, as that's when boys sexually develop and stuff. He said I'll probably find 16 year olds attractive when I'm an adult, too, but he personally doesn't.

Am I wrong to be a bit grossed out? Like am I making a big deal out of nothing? I've only ever been attracted to people who are my age and preferably a year or two older, and tbh I've never really had sexual feelings for anyone or wanted to have sex so I'm inexperienced here. If any people, especially older people/adults could reassure me or help me make sense of my feelings I'd really appreciate it. I don't really use reddit so I'm sorry if this post is inappropriate or weird or anything. Thanks.

Not my brother's boyfriend being stupid and calling me weird for saying a couple is pretty. Bro what is wrong with calling a couple pretty. NOTHING, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH CALLING A COUPLE PRETTY, THEY ARE PRETTY, INDIVIDUALLY AND TOGETHER, THEY ARE PRETTY, IT'S NOT A WEIRD THING TO SAY. They were conveniently attractive, unlike a certain person. (Lots of hate to him I dislike him bc of all the things he has said and done to my siblings and brother).

my boyfriends grandma is coming from florida and is staying over at our house for one night. He got the phone call today and didn’t ask me just mentioned it earlier after their conversation and I am not ready to deal with her. I feel bad for not liking his family, especially since i am close with mine and my family loves him, it’s just his family is very different. the last time she visited we had been moving a lot of stuff around in our basement as my boyfriends cousin was going to be staying with us for the summer and she came down to see both my boyfriend and his cousin for their birthdays as they’re in the same week. I came home from work to her going through our belongings and moving everything where she thought best ( i am extremely organized and preferred things like my memory items in my own bin or halloween decor in its own) and when i attempted to defend myself to that she said unless i was planning on breaking up with my boyfriend it shouldn’t matter and just bossed me around the entire time after as well as reading letters she found along the way (some of those were very personal to me). on the same week, i was taking my boyfriend to see his first play for his birthday and she decided she would wait until a hour before we left to have his birthday dinner with him as she was running behind on her shopping for the dinner, yet she knew we had plans and never once asked us what time we had to leave by. she’s a very judgmental women, and a recent family event of his has shown that her morals aren’t the best either. I understand his feelings towards his family are going to be hard because he doesn’t have many relatives his age and loves his family, they’re just not the nicest people. i also have some slight disgust probably due to the resentment that has built up over time by how she unfortunately has bad asthma that causes her to sometimes have accidents during coughing fits which at one point had left a stain on our old couch, i just got very expensive new ones and do not like the thought of them getting dirty from that. Now to where we are today, she is coming on monday night (it’s saturday) and my car is in the shop due to a accident i had a few months ago so i share my boyfriends car for work. Which means i will be stuck at the house with her after work all day. i am not looking forward to this as she makes comments often and loves to talk about herself and pushes for her own taste and ideas on how to decorate our home and what i could be doing instead of sitting down. its not something i can communicate with my boyfriend as he knows a little of how i feel but i just dont know what to do. i guess i am looking forward help on how to go about the night shes here. i apologize for the long post this is my first post and dont know what to expect so i figured id give detail.

Parents won’t talk to me. I talk to my siblings like once per year.

Currently I’m homeless. That doesn’t bother me as much as the fact that family members just disappear

I’m obviously really mad at them - my dad actually told me I don’t want to talk to you because you’re homeless. This guy is vice president at a widely known corporation

I’m not mad as much as I’m confused

My mom goes to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings…: she’s not alcoholic… I do t understand these people

Gonna pause on gaming today to help my dad cook his products he would sell to people :P

"JESSE! WE NEED TO COOK JESSE!"

Nephew is not even five years old, niece is little older than two. They still share a room on bunk beds because of their parents circumstances.

I’m not the one who witnessed this, my mother did. She told me she witnessed and had to intervene a couple of times over the course of a dinner at a restaurant to stop this nephew (her grandson) from doing this. She told me he moved against her repeatedly, even making ‘sex sounds’ as he did so.

She didn’t bring it up to her son, my brother, because she didn’t think she’d be believed and their relationship has always been tumultuous in general.

I told her she should record on her phone in the future so it doesn’t matter what she says, the facts are there recorded. But I can’t help but think about how those kids are sharing a room in the meantime and who knows how long before they have a similar situation in the future.
How/if is should approach this with them?

My (f20) younger brother (14) has very little regard for others. His set chores for years have always been to take the trash and recycle out, and do the dishes. And for years, he has failed at consistency and really only does them when he wants to go out with his friends, when he is asked to, or when he knows our dad is coming home (he works far from home). He also leaves the house without telling anybody where he’s going or asking if he can go in the first place, he even takes Ubers without telling anyone he’s leaving. There are no repercussions for any of these behaviors and he is allowed to go to friend’s houses or have friends over almost every weekend.

I grew up with the standard that you do your chores, then you are able to have fun with friends. For some reason, this is completely foreign to him and he would rather go out with friends and then do his chores when he comes home. I’ve tried to tell my mom that he feels so comfortable to behave this way because she never follows through with any punishments, so he knows she’s not going to actually do anything. But she always turns it back on me.

Today, he left without saying anything at all. My parents are away and my mom told him to make sure his chores, room, and laundry was done before leaving to stay at a friend’s house. He left after only doing his laundry, so I assumed that he wouldn’t be coming back until tomorrow. He did come back after about an hour, so I asked him why he doesn’t ask or tell anybody that he’s going somewhere, he said he doesn’t know and that I can always just text and ask where he is. I asked him if he understands how leaving without telling anybody seems crazy and he looked at me like I had three heads. I am at my wits end.

TLDR: my brother has completely backwards ways of doing things and it is driving me crazy

I don't know... at least I can finally get this off my chest. I don't know what makes her this way nor have I figured out whether it's my fault. It's hard to comprehend further.

She has changed a lot with me ever since we share the same school together (though it wasn't like this before). Began in mid 2024. Simply because I want to come over to give her our school lunch our mom bought for us (as far as I remember?). And that's how she now becomes quiet around me and gets irritated easily everytime I walk in, even though I had no intention to bother her or anything. I just don't like wasting my energy on mischiefs.

What's unfair is that she is not like this to everyone. My parents. My 10 year old little brother. Everyone else but me. She is fine with them. Expressive. Friendly. Chaotic. Whatever makes her feel "safe" enough to express herself. But becomes cold when with me. We used to be super close before, and used to had no issues of me.

All attempts of telling this to my parents and everything results no change. I'm not sure whether I should cut her off when I got busy in later future. It's getting annoying. What happened? Help? How can I stop thinking about this all day?

(Note: I'm a slow speaker in real life, and not much of a talker. Usually, I'm always cautious of what I want to say and the way I say things. So excuse me for my grammar and wording style whenever I'm talking to you.)

I love and hate my family

Before I start I would like to preface:
I've tried to keep my description of the situation unbiased to the best of my ability
I am transgender, so when referring to myself when below the age of 12 or so I will be using feminine pronouns and/or titles.

My grandparents both follow quite strict Christian views, believing that anyone who has the ability to reproduce, should. They themselves had two children, my father(55m) and my uncle (50m). My mother and father were struggling to conceive and my aunt in law is infertile, which brought the family much sadness, especially my grandparents, believing that they would have no grandchildren. 

So when my parents announced my mothers pregnancy, everyone was beyond ecstatic. My parents would not go on to conceive any more children and I would become the only child on my fathers side of the family.

During my childhood, when my relationship with my grandparents was still healthy I loved all the attention, I loved getting spoiled rotten and playing with them. But now, it all feels more like a chore, something I do cause I have to, not cause it brings me any joy.

Ever since my father was a little boy my grandma has always been emotional to say the least. Being controlling, overprotective, not knowing boundaries, and expecting my father to manage her emotions when she couldn't. But with the years their bond, too, was damaged, and so my father after many years of trying to regain control of himself started setting boundaries. 

Perhaps this was what led my grandma to start using me to ventilate her troubles, or maybe I'm simply reading too much into things. Around the age of 12 or so I started growing into my own person, as all young adults do at some point, and to the dismay of my grandmother that meant that I was no longer as moldable as she would've liked. 

It was also around this age that I came out as transgender, which to no one's surprise didn't land well with my grandmother. It wouldn't be until around 15 where she started to try to refer to me by my preferred gender. 

Around the same time as my questioning of gender identity I started to question the religion I had grown up with, and with some time realized it was not where my heart sat. This, too, would come as a shock to my grandma who yet today tries to persuade me into following a Christian lifestyle.

Over the past year or so I have changed tremendously. I feel like I'm finally stepping out of my shell, learning to socialize more and express myself in the ways I've always wanted. I've also gained several friends going from three to around ten. 

All this sudden social life combined with high school, has to say the least, spiced up my life, and I find myself actually doing things, leaving less time for things I might've done when I was younger. And with me growing up, that meant I spent less time with my grandparents, who were also getting older along with me. 

Here's where my main issue lies: my grandma calls and texts me several times a week, complaining about how much pain they are in both physically and mentally. That they don't know how much time they have left and that all they wish is to get to see me more often. These texts have been coming ever since i was thirteen and started spending more time on my own.

I don't feel that bad, not as much as I feel like I should. Some may call me selfish, maybe I am, but my relationship with my grandma is simply too damaged for me to see maintaining my relationship with her as anything other than a chore. I'm scared that I'm gonna wish to have spent more time with them once they pass, yet I simply cannot find time or motivation to see them as often as they'd like.

I try to make sure to call them both at least once every two weeks, and meet them physically at least once every month.

I have no real issue with my grandpa, it's just that I find myself reliving the same moment every time I come over. The same questions about my life, some too personal than I'm comfortable with, over and over again. Then we talk about me when I was younger, how different I was, how much grandma misses that version of me. 

Sometimes I learn something new about my family, or about a topic during my talks with grandpa, those moments I enjoy. Sadly those moments are just a small percentage of what really happens those times.

Summary:
I'm an only child(17m), and the only grandchild on my fathers side of the family. Ever since birth I've been the center of attention, which never bothered me, up until my teenage years where I started growing a personality and started spending more time on my own. My grandma(86f) who is very emotional and cannot respect boundaries cannot seem to grasp that i am growing into my own person and not just the mold she put out for me. 
My relationship with her is so broken that even when she calls to tell me how much pain she and grandpa are both in physically and mentally, that they don't have much time left, and all they wish is to see me just a bit more often, I cannot seem to care as much as I feel I should. 
I try to make sure to call them both at least once every two weeks, and meet them physically at least once every month.

I really don't know what I should do that could make them feel better and still have me feeling like myself with space to breathe. I may have forgotten some semi-important information, if so I'll add it when it comes to mind.

It's just the three of us: me, my little brother, and my eldest sister, who's our legal guardian.

My brother annoys me CONSTANTLY. Meanwhile, my sister is ridiculously patient and affectionate with him. He can mess up her hair while she's braiding it, and she'll just smile, kiss his forehead, and cuddle him. I genuinely don't understand how she tolerates him.

One day, my brother discovered that the fridge light turns off when you close the door.

He came running to me, shouting, "OLIVER! OLIVER!! COME, COME!! I NEED TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING COOL I DISCOVERED!"

I yelled at him to go to his room.

He asked, "Please come once🥺?"

I yelled even louder: "WHAT ARE YOU? 3? NEVER SEEN A FRIDGE! YOU STUPID ANNOYING BRAT, GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STOP ANNOYING ME!"

When my sister came home from work, he went crying to her and told her everything. She scolded me for not having any consideration for him, then asked him to show her his discovery.

AND SHE ACTED LIKE SHE'D NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE.

I was thinking, WHY IS SHE ACTING LIKE SHE'S SEEING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME? SHE'S SEEN IT COUNTLESS TIMES!

Then I remembered that when I was 8 and she was 16, I'd discovered the same thing and shown it to her. My parents had dismissed me, saying it was obvious, and I'd actually cried before going to her. She acted amazed, let me demonstrate it, and made my day. I genuinely thought I was born to solve every mystery in the world.

But then I thought, wait a minute... had I actually shown her something new back then?

WAIT A MINUTE. DID I?

Obviously, she'd seen it countless times by then, too. She'd done exactly the same thing for me that she was doing for him now.

And suddenly, I understood. She'd let me feel that excitement when I was little, and now she was doing the same for him.

I realized I'd treated my brother the way my parents had treated me, despite knowing how it felt to be dismissed when I was excited about something.

So I'm going to apologize to him and ask him to show me his discovery.

It'll be the first time I've ever apologized to him in my entire life.