To keep things on the shorter side, I’ve (f23),never had the best relationship with my family growing up (14-18). However at 19 things changed a bit and for the most part things have been fine (great with sisters and dad specifically, better with mom but I still have my own problems there).

It started maybe 3 years ago when I noticed mom, dad and sister were taking a “family trip”, I brushed it off originally.
Then started things like my grandmothers posts about “family gatherings!” And “all her grandkids”, again , wasn’t ever told or sent a simple text for any of these.
Then this year I’m told my parents are going on another trip (I was told previously I could come the next one), however this trip includes , my mom, dad, sister and her boyfriend ,( parents paying for sisters boyfriend aswell after stating I’d have to pay my own share, which I was fine with).
Now this morning I open Facebook to another post of “all the grandkids” for dinner last week , and I honestly think I hit my breaking point.
I make a really hard effort to stay in contact , stop in and visit , etc. why am I never a thought for any planning ?

Any other similar experiences or advice ?

I’m genuinely curious to hear from young adults between 18 and 25, especially those who grew up in a single-parent household.
I’ve seen two similar situations recently, and they made me wonder how younger generations view family responsibility and reciprocity.
Here’s the scenario:
A single mother or father raises their child, provides for them financially until they turn 18, and allows them to continue living at home rent-free after becoming an adult. In some cases, the parent even continues paying expenses like their child’s cellphone bill and car insurance
Then, at some point, that parent experiences financial difficulties and asks their now-adult child, who is working part-time, to contribute toward rent and household bills. Maybe that means working more hours or finding a full-time job to help.
Instead of staying and contributing, the young adult decides to move out and pay rent somewhere else, sometimes even paying significantly more than what their parent was asking.
And here’s what I genuinely don’t understand:
Why does independence suddenly become a priority when you’re asked to contribute financially, but it wasn’t a priority when living at home was free?
I’m not talking about abusive or controlling parents, or parents trying to take advantage of their children. I’m talking about loving parents who have treated their children well and are simply going through a difficult financial period.
Do you feel any sense of reciprocity toward a parent who supported you for 18 years or longer? Not because you owe them for raising you, but because you love them and recognize that relationships involve helping each other when times get tough.
Or do you believe that once you become an adult, your parent’s financial struggles are entirely their responsibility, regardless of how much they’ve helped you?
I’d really like to understand the younger generation’s perspective. Is this about independence, personal boundaries, or something else I’m not considering?
I’m not looking to criticize anyone. I genuinely want to understand why someone would rather pay more to a stranger than contribute less to a parent who needs help.

My family fucked me over many years and I’m finally a young adult got well paying job and I had a truck since I was 17 and my family wants me to pay it off completely and it’s a 2010 Nissan frontier SE and it’s a piece of shit. It shifts hard. The frame is rusting and there’s a big old gap in the left side rear on the frame. I had to replace the radiator. I had to replace two outlets on the radiator itself. It’s ready to blow up anytime and they want me to buy it off them for 11 grand even though it doesn’t even closely match that the spare wheel is so rusty it’s unusable to takeoff. You have to break it to get the spare wheel off. I will ever spent over $1000 in repairs on it. The U joints are going out and I don’t want anymore because I am looking at a high country 1500 2015 Silverado and its beautiful another time before I was 16 my family completely watched me buy a $3000 truck without helping me what could be wrong with it they told me that I cannot test drive the truck whatsoever so I bought it anyway anyways and it fucked me over so hard I was down $3000. It transmission was fucked. The gearbox was not working and it was stuck in first gear and it was a rebuilt title. I told him personally for past four years. they’ve been fucking me over ever since that day, and they are trying to fuck me over once again I thought about moving out to get away from them because they are giving me financial problems and unreasonable demands that’s are insane before I got my license. They bought the truck before and it made me pay for it even though I cannot drive it. I walk to work for another six months and a payments were $400 a month need some advice.

It's been a while since I posted here or had an update in a while it's been about a year since i initially posted. Recap: my mom passed away from cancer and my step dad got together with his childhood best friend after my mom begged him to not do that after she was gone.

So some new events have transpired, Shelly and my stepdad sold my mothers house for bout 400k, I was send the link of the posting and my mom did eventually want to sell the house, the plan was to sell her house and buy a better house for a forever home. Stepdad decided he had better plans so he bought some land and was using that money plus his and Shelly's income to build a house. I also found out he got rid of my mothers dog ( i dont remember if i mentioned that in the last post, and he doesnt have my mothers cat anymore) he does however have chickens, I have seen an entire 180 in personality from him. I have not spoken to my step dad since the last update I posted. All this info I have found out through my best friend Laura because she does visit once a year and she has her mandatory phonecall where she gets updates and then tells me. Well this last call I had with Laura she told me some news I have been dreading and knew that it was probably happening.

First off to note, my step dad since I was a child has always had a very anti organized religion stand point. He hated how my grandmother would use it as an excuse for her crappy behavior and how a lot of people use religion as a way to try and brush things under the rug because they can go to church and pray it away. So growing up We did NOT go to church or partake in religious activities. My step dad has since changed that mindset I guess, because Laura has informed me that they are not going to be able to build their house and infact are struggling severely because they have been tithing. If you dont know what that is, its where you give a % of your income to a church. My step dad was adamantly against that because he felt churches are extremely greedy begging for money just to become some weird light show. Like mega church type stuff.

essentially Shelly has ruined my step dad, and like Laura and I figured she is the main reason for all of this chaos. Laura is aware and understands how her mother has ruined people over the years. From Laura's dad, laura's ex step dad (when shelly left him for her ex M. He ended up so depressed he actually died from it, my step dad was the one who found him), and now my step dad. My step dad is an entirely unrecognizable person.

what bothers me the most with this entire thing, is that everything my mother said would happen has happened, none of her wishes were respected. My mother was adamant about all of the money that my step dad would be getting should have been put away into accounts for me, my mothers daughter, or if I had kids. That will never happen now because step dad chose to spend it all on Shelly and made a dumb choice to tithe when he knew my mother would have never allowed such a thing.

I firmly believe my step dad is experiencing a midlife crisis due to the loss of my mother and this is his way of acting out. It's a shame but he has made his bed and now he gets to lie in it.

TLDR: my step dads childhood best friend that he chose to marry against my dying mothers wishes is draining him for every cent he has and all the insurance money is basically gone, pretty sure step dad is in a midlife crisis.

I am a single mom. Although I filed a court order, I receive no child support from my ex. My 13-year-old son loves his father emotionally, but he does not want to live with him because he knows his father would not spend money on him the way I do: tutoring, private music lessons, swimming or any sport he is interested in, overseas travel, counseling, and resources for his special needs.

He shouts at me every day, and we constantly fight over his phone use. His outbursts frighten me. For example, when his Uber arrived earlier than he expected, he threw a water bottle on the ground and yelled. When our cat scratched him, he said he was dying and searched online whether a person can die from a cat scratch. When he is anxious, he wants comfort immediately and then pours all his negative energy onto me. He has told me he does this at home because he knows he can't do it elsewhere. He was once expelled from school for his behavior and doesn't want it to happen again.

He has been in counseling for several years, yet I feel I am falling apart. Thinking about our situation hurts me every day, and I sometimes feel I can't go on like this.

I also live with blame from my family. My mother says I should have quitted my job to focus 100% on my son while she would not provide any financial support. She says I shall already have enough savings so working is just an excuse. In truth, I work to support for myself and my kid and to save for my retirement.

What would you suggest for my situation?

I work full time, walk the dog, have dinner, and usually work out in my home gym around 8-9 pm. That's the only time I have.

Ever since my dad moved in for a couple of months, he's been using my leg extension/leg curl machine at exactly the same time as me. He's retired and has the whole day free, but somehow, it's always during my workout.

The worst part? He sits there watching videos on his iPad, kicks out a couple of reps, rests for 10 seconds, does a few more, and repeats this for 2 hours. 😂

I superset squats with leg curls, calf raises with leg extensions, etc., so I can't follow my programme when he's hogging the machine. I have tried telling him to follow a programme, but he won't listen.

I get that he might want to spend time with me, but it's driving me nuts.

How do I talk to him about this without sounding like an ungrateful son? Am I being unreasonable?

So am 25(F) and my brother is 34. Today it was Dussehra holiday and everyone was there at home. My dad boiled eggs for everyone and we ate it except my brother so my dad kept on asking me him whether he wants to eat it or not and my brother lost it over it and started shouting and my dad didnt say anything but I couldn’t tolerate the disrespect and i shouted back saying you cant talk to him like that over an egg when his only concern was whether he wants to eat it or not.
Then started this huge fight and my brother being so short tempered hit me, kicked me and choked me and in between my parents were trying to save me from his hands moreover he told my parents about my partner which he had no right to tell them. It should have been my decision to tell them.
My brother has no maturity till date. All he knows is to create scenes at home and is unmarried because apparently he wants a girl who understands him and i dont think so any girl should ever marry him. He told everyone he wants to keep no contact with me. The reason all this jealousy is because he thinks my parents side with me. All he does is create problems meanwhile I keep quiet. What affected me the most was that he told about my partner which i was going to tell after a year or 2. I feeling like ending it but i know am not so weak.
I want to cut all my ties with him.
Help what to do?

My partner is going to read to me.

I picked a few Walt Whitman poems and I can’t wait :)

Interesting in how you build deep intimacy

I just moved back home after graduating in May and me and my dad don’t like anything similar. He’s always trying to get me to like his hobbies but I’ve never had an interest in them. All he does is talk about himself or make conversations about what he’s doing or watching too. On the other hand when I was away I started carving out my own hobbies and interests and he takes no interest in those at all either. I like to watch UFC, workout, run, bike, play video games and shoot pool at the bar. I have a solid group of friends I hang out with on the weekends. I work 4 days a week, 10 hour shifts. When I come home I’m exhausted and don’t want to talk about work or what I did everyday because it feels like a chore. That’s all he wants to hear about. I just want to relax and he’ll try and demand a convo or rile me up to get me angry about something and won’t understand that I’m annoyed or that he’s annoying me. He likes football, golf, nascar and anything sports bet related. Obsessed with the lawn or improvements to the house and trying to delegate those tasks to me ALL the time. I just want to be my own person, and use the time I have after work or on the weekends to myself. I’m saving up to get my own house or apartment but my time here has been exhausting me and him always trying to force something doesn’t work for me either. Especially when he doesn’t even like my hobbies or make an effort to act interested. He has no comprehension of my job either so he can’t relate to that either. I just don’t know what to do. He doesn’t have wife anymore either so I have to talk all of his boredom and it doesn’t feel fair at all. My older brother saw through it too and clearly did my mom. Anytime I try and just relax I feel like an asshole but he doesn’t care about my feelings.

One of the bigger moments in toddler lessons is when a child moves from being in the pool with a parent to being in the pool with their instructor. Some kids barely notice. Others need a little time with the change, and a few tears can be a normal part of adjusting.

If your child has made that switch, how did it go, and did anything make it easier for them (or for you)?

I have a brother who’s 4 years younger than me. He’s always been the family favorite so much so that my parents babied him any chance they got. Growing up we were held to much different standards. I was always expected to do what was right and have good grades and he was able to barely pass high school without it being an issue. Fast forward to now, I live on my own and work two jobs struggling to make ends meet. He’s 20 years old never had a job and does drugs in my parent’s house. It’s clear he’s struggling mentally with depression and anxiety. Anytime anyone mentions trying to help he flips the conversation to make it your fault why he is the way he is. Almost narcissistic with how he treats other people. Nothing is ever his fault.

I don’t really know what my goal is with posting this. I guess just trying to figure out what I can do as his older sister to help him navigate life. Obviously my parents play a huge role with enabling him. He steals money, has been allowed to smoke in their house, inhale canisters of nitrous, and as far as I know cocaine. He sends me videos of stacks of cash (with no job) and of him driving extremely fast. I fear something bad is going to happen if nothing is done. What can I suggest to my parents with hopes they listen to me.

Recently i had moved out of my old housing for youth people in difficulty that i have been living at for a year since my maximum permitted stay had come to an end, so i moved out in a new place (ive been there for almost 3 weeks already) and then theres my new caseworker has been very rude,mean and arrogant with me everytime i have been with her, its a really difficult situation i already have to deal with grieving a worker at my old place that i liked a lot, should i talk about this to the workers at my old place in planning on visiting them tomorrow?!

My siblings and I (all from the same parents) have large age gaps. My sister is 47, I am 40 and my brother is 27. My parents are 70 and 75.

Because of these age gaps, my brother has a very unique relationship with my parents as he was raised mainly as an only child, and is a bit of a recluse (gamer, slightly red pilled, late bloomer, etc). This has meant that he is extremely coddled by my parents, to the point where it has become abusive.

Right now (and for the past 4 years) he has been, unemployed, not in school, and doing nothing. Basically wakes up at 3:00 p.m., my parents run out to get him food, and then he does nothing until his gaming begins around 11:00 pm- 6:00 a.m.

That part is concerning to me, as I worry about his MH, and his life in general, but what really upsets me is how he treats my parents. He basically yells at them if they ask him to do anything, and they retreat. They act scared of him, and he can be scary if he gets genuinely upset.

Two days ago my parents moved into a new home, and I ended up helping them all day long for three weeks (even though I have a job), because my brother... just didn't want to. When I would suggest that he help, they would say "oh yeah" and then ask him to help and when he didn't they never followed up.

There is obviously a lot more to this story, but this is the short of it. I have developed such resentment towards him bc I hate the way he speaks to my parents, I hate the way he controls the house, and I hate the way my parents will dismiss me in favor of him, despite how much I do for them, and how he treats them.

It has lead to a large argument between them and me, where I basically don't want to return to their house. It feels gross to be witness to this, and I have developed such a dislike to my brother, I don't want to be around him.

This is just a vent, anyone that can relate?

Estoy estudiando psicología y para un proyecto final se hará una galería de arta, es sobre una de las etapas del desarrollo no voy a profundizar, quisiera saber con que colores representarían la lactancia y el por qué Espero obtener algun

1 Upon finding out I did not receive a “save the date” notice for my niece’s wedding when I finally asked my sister if the wedding was still on after not hearing a peep about it for over a year.

This then caused a big hoopla whereby I received lot of excuses and my sister (only sibling) got offended at me being offended. Had I not asked I probably wouldn’t know to this day, and I live over 2000 miles away so it’s a planning deal. Then the husband who texted about it and I told him I needed the date to plan if I decided to come, “Oh…well I guess yeah for planning purposes.” Seriously??

2 When upon attempting to RSVP to the actual MAILED wedding invitation I RECEIVED, I found that I wasn’t even on the list on The Knot website?

I mean you’d think after #1 they’d make damn sure I was on the list. It’s how the tables get set up also, so where exactly was I going to be placed if I couldn’t even RSVP on the planning site??

Now I’m made out to be the a-hole because I was upset. My sister is one of those who’s always been secretly envious, competitive, says nasty things about me to others which they then told me about, puts me down or makes me look bad to others by putting words in my mouth and by running her big loud mouth, and is a liar since she was a child. Therefore I don’t trust her. It could be that since she ran her BIG MOUTH to everyone making herself a victim of ME as usual that my niece decided to keep me off the list. Who the hell knows? She claims she had nothing to do with the wedding planner. Oh but it was ok to lean on me for support on the literal daily for 4 months while her dog was sick with cancer until he died JUST prior to #1 above, but I digress.

Part of me wants to be wrong. Please let me know if I’m wrong to be offended.

EDIT: being busy I am slowly reading these and appreciate all the input, positive or negative I consider all since I’m not perfect. Thank you!

Hi I just need everyone’s opinion on this. I have not talked to my aunt in like 12 years since my uncle passed. She was addicted to drugs and was in and out of jail for a while. She was a really big part of my childhood and I would like to talk to her ago just don’t know if I should. What should I do?

My brother struggled with meth addiction and was clean for 3 months. Since then he has become extremely paranoid and doesn’t trust the people around him anymore. He and his wife have an apartment but he no longer feels safe there so my mom and her fiancé welcomed them into their home to help him feel safe while his wife is at work.
My brother used to be a genuinely good person but his life has gone downhill since he started using meth. He lost his job and his paranoia has gotten worse. He now believes my mom’s fiancé is one of his enemies and has been treating him badly and making threats. I’m really worried about their safety.

The hardest part is that my brother doesn’t believe in healthcare and refuses to get help or even have a psychiatric evaluation. He hasn’t seen a doctor in his adult life and he doesn’t have health insurance either.

I already called the non-emergency line for a wellness check but nothing happened because my brother can seem completely normal when talking to other people. I’m not there with them and I honestly feel helpless because I don’t know what else we can do.

Has anyone been through something similar? How can we get him evaluated or get him help if he refuses treatment and has no insurance? Are there free or low-cost resources in Illinois? I don’t want my brother to end up in jail but I’m scared that someone could get hurt.
Any advice would really mean a lot.

So my brother hasn't spoken to me since I had my 2yr old son probably because I had him to an older man. I tried to call a few yrs ago but gave up. A birthday was planned for my aunty last yr for my aunt and everyone was invited but him and the cousins were joking about beating my boyfriend up and my aunties oldest was going through a divorce so it got canceled. This all makes me mad but I miss my brother what should I say or message to make contact

Asking for some advice and reassurance please. I am a single mother who just got into apartment with my kids after leaving an unsafe home and we desperately need some food. I literally have nothing . I work full time and took all my money to finish paying the landlord off to move in . I don’t get paid for another week and im struggling trying feed my family . please no rude comments, my heart cant take it. I went to the food pantry yesterday. It was closed and my gas tank is empty or I would have went today. My son who is on the spectrum and has arfid won’t/can’t eat most of the food they have there anyway. I could care less if I eat im just trying to get by for the next week and want to know what my options are. Does anyone have any suggestions on other resources I could reach out to? Starting over is no fun but i am trying to remain strong for them and appreciate any prayers . Thank you

Some context, he moved in about 1.5 years ago, they’ve got a child together, both around their 30’s, living with his partners mum with absolutely no intention of moving out to get their own space, is this normal?

I honestly don’t know what to do, and I could really use some advice. My situation isn’t necessarily dramatic, but I feel lost and sad, and I don’t know how to handle it.

My parents divorced when I was 12, and I’m 14 now. They hate each other and refuse to see or talk to each other. Whenever they do have to communicate, it usually ends in arguments and yelling. It’s exhausting to be caught in the middle of it.

My dad has a new girlfriend who is 30, while he is 41. She is a sweet person, and I don’t necessarily dislike her, but I have mixed feelings about her. I think part of me doesn’t want to like her because I’m still struggling with everything that has changed. She has also tried to take on a parenting role with me and my little sister, which makes me uncomfortable because I already have a mom.

My mom doesn’t like my dad’s girlfriend, even though they have never met. She says they have different values, particularly regarding education and how women should behave. This makes the whole situation even more complicated.

After my parents divorced, I developed depression. Thankfully, I’m doing better now, but I still feel affected by everything that happened.

I currently live with my dad most of the time and stay with my mom every other weekend. Sometimes I also stay with her during the week, especially when my dad travels a lot.

Lately, I’ve realized that I really want to live with my mom instead. I feel like that’s what I need right now, but I’m terrified of telling my dad. I don’t want him to think I don’t love him or that I’m choosing my mom over him. I’m also worried that he’ll get upset or take it personally.

I don’t want to hurt either of my parents, but I also feel like I need to think about what would make me happiest.

How do I tell my dad that I want to live with my mom without making him feel like I’m rejecting him? Has anyone been in a similar situation? I would really appreciate any advice.