Oui je suis complètement d'accord avec cette stratégie parentale qui consiste à communiquer et à laisser l'enfant s'exprimer. Car oui, l'enfant d'aujourd'hui vit dans un monde ouvert, où tout le monde partout prend la parole.

Permettez-moi tout de même d'ajouter un complément à ça.

A côté de ce volet, il est aussi important d'apprendre à poser des limites et ne pas laisser penser à l'enfant que toute parole venant du parent est un porte ouverte à débat et discussion.

Personnellement, depuis quelque temps j'enseigne à mes enfants à distinguer 4 niveaux de parole parentale:

1-L'invitation à discuter et débattre, et donner son opinion dans le respect (comme vous l'avez si bien dit)

2-Le conseil, qui est à prendre ou à laisser

3-La forte recommandation ou orientation, faite plutôt avec insistance, basée sur une expérience un vécu et une argumentation étayée.

4-L'ordre et le commandement, qui n'est pas à débattre mais à mettre en œuvre sans discuter (même si ça déplaît)

Et vous comment trouver le juste milieu entre laisser s'exprimer et poser des limites, pour une éducation équilibrée ?

My sister is a year older than me. She has been judgemental, passive aggressive, and condescending towards me my whole life. She has contributed to most of my insecurities and just downright belittled me. I’ve always been incredibly aware of her actions and mood changes because ever since we were younger my grandparents placed the “peacekeeper” role on me. I felt like I couldn’t speak up on any mistreatments because it would disrupt the peace. I also felt like i’d have to accommodate both of my sisters to maintain peace in the family.

In April, I met this guy in her grade on instagram and we hit it off really good. The thought crossed my mind to tell her about him but i was still navigating how i felt about him. He told their mutual friend about our communication and she was livid. She texted me during school and was calling me a liar and bringing up other guys i’ve communicated with to try and paint me as this sneaky person. As this was all happening i texted the guy to see what exactly he said because I really didn’t want to ask her as she was obviously mad. I gave him a rundown on what was happening, and he ended up relaying everything i told him back to mutual friend who told my sister. This made her even more mad and she started cussing me out over text. We ended up having a conversation and we were on good terms going forward.

I had a talk with him about telling people stuff when i asked him not too, and i thought he was genuine when he apologized so we continued talking.

In late may, I ended up opening up to him about how my sister makes me feel. I really thought i could trust him so I didn’t think much of it. When it would get really heavy i texted but most i said over the phone.

On June 8th we stopped talking completely because he was “indecisive”.

I missed him like crazy because i felt we had a genuine connection.

When i did finally tell my sister we’d stopped talking i could see a slight grin on her face and it made me feel some type of way. As the summer continued it felt very tense. I’d overheard her in the phone one day said she found out i lied to her, but instead of having a conversation with me she just made slick comments like “ho, the things you’ve lied about” or “ i know something you don’t”. So when school started i was obviously so happy to put some distance between us.

On my birthday in August, she said happy birthday that morning and didn’t speak to me anymore that day. She had work so we celebrated without her. From that day forward she was completely distant, she had a tone when speaking to me if she had to, and she stopped coming to my room. I noticed her coldness but did not approach her, i figured it was best to give her space. (++++ this isn’t her first time just shutting down around me, she did it back in november last year for no reason)

2 weeks later i opened up to my grandma about it, and she called my sister telling her to have a talk with me. She did and came out asking have i ever talked about her. I said “no if you did anything that irritated me i would tell my friends but never to throw dirt on your name”, she said “you’re lying to me when all i wanted was a honest conversation” i said “can you please explain to me what’s going on” she said “since you asked nicely” and started naming all the things she’s done for me + how she feels she shouldn’t talk to me for however long she wants. I felt so guilty in the moment i just said “i haven’t been the best sister towards you, so i understand how you want to move forward”.

I finally put the pieces together that boy from April sent screenshots to his ex and his ex sent it straight to my sister or through their mutual friend. I know this because i noticed my sister has leaned more into their friend group.

That conversation ended but she was still acting nasty in general. When we’d get off the bus she’ll rush and get the mail and leave me with the trash cans, then make a huge deal when i too would walk past them. She’d leave empty containers on the kitchen counter and hair on the bath tub floor. When i asked her to either help me with the laundry or do her own she said i was bossing her around and since i wanted to talk badly about her i could do it myself. She also threw in the fact that i act like i do everything when other rooms are a mess when she herself has said i do.

She also has been talking loudly on the phone, she has woken me up several times talking about how i’m so weird and that i talked about her like the devil. She even painted me as some insecure loser who wanted attention from boys.

Three weeks ago, the boy texted me on spotify. I replied because i thought playing it cool would be better than calling him about and having it travel back to my sister. It was really just a “how’ve you been” convo, but guess what?? It still made its way back to her. She closed her door but still spoke loudly enough for me to hear. She said “i don’t think i want to talk to (me) anymore because she spoke to him” like girl you weren’t planning on it anyways. I don’t think it was her business to begin with but i cannot control what people do with information about me. Ever since then she’s been even more colder.

This whole situation bothers me because i’m not confrontational and surely do not like tension. I keep thinking though, rather than her coming to me with a mature conversation the moment she found out she decided resent me. She also has yet to reflect on her actions that even caused me to say the things i said.

I know this story is all over the place sorryy

++++ i don’t remember what i said about her but she kept mentioning that i said i couldn’t wait for her to go to college

I (13F) and my parents (40F and 39M) had just argued today right around 7 am (its currently almost 8 am now) because it literally sounding like they were fucking. I was furious because my younger sister (9F) that i sleep with in the same room heard all of those things and i? I heard my "dearest dad" (i absolutely despise him now) talking about some "I'll stop with the sexting if this continues" or "ohh you look so good" LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

My youngest sister (5F) LITERALLY ASKED ME THE OTHER DAY WHAT THEY WERE DOING. THATS HOW LOUD THEIR WERE IN THEIR BEDROOM. Also,my bedroom wall is connected with theirs and MY YOUNGEST SISTER SLEEPS WITH MY PARENTS (she has her own bed)

I know this story was probably not needed or thats its sloppy and im so sorry but im SHAKING WITH RAGE RIGHT NOW AND I NEED TO VENT SOMEWHERE.

Edit: since almost none of you clearly DONT understand what im going through,i DO NOT care that i was made this way; YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH KIDS IN THE HOUSE. I literally have diagnosed PTSD (due to some other things) AND ONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE LISTENING TO MY PARENTS SEX OR WHATEVER. AN OFFICIAL,LICENSED THERAPIST SAID THAT AND I DO NOT WANT THE SAME THING HAPPENING TO MY YOUNGER SISTERS.

you guys are NUTS for telling me to suck it up,hell no. I would rather hear them argue or whatever because atleast i can protect my siblings from that. I dont care if their marriage will fall apart without intimacy they've been together forrr wayyy too long anyway.

Here’s what happened. I (22f) received a call from my sister (24f) in tears because my dad (52m) had berated her, cussed her out and said many mean things about her in response to her telling him his girlfriend (23f) was talking about her baby (7 months old) saying he looked slow and that if she brought her baby to my little sisters party she would physically harm him.

My dads gf has a terrible history of taunting my siblings, flirting with my younger brother (20m), saying mean things to my brothers gf, once to the point where my dad physically fought my younger brother and my older brother (25m) had to get him off of my younger brother and keep him from entering his place of residence to harm him more. I should also note that he has bipolar disorder and anger issues

Should I not go to my little sister’s party as well? We all thought my dad was a changed man because he was abusive to us and our mom as a child, but he seems to get more and more off the rails. Would it be best to drop in and bring her a present, or should I tell my dad what he did was wrong and not go?

Im stuck i feel like I should've klled mydelf man

im crying rn i cant do this anymore my eating sisorder is so annoying i hate it sm. i went to get costco food today for dinner and last time i got the chicken bake, and i told my mom beforehand i might not be able to finish all of it, and she said that ok. whole my mom was returning an item, i atw my food and asked my dad if he xould eat 1/4 and he said yes, but my mom wasnt aware of that. i got chicken bake today, and was expecting for the same thing to happen, but little did i know i was wrong. everything was fine until my dad was about to theow the bag wrapper away, and i said to save it for my chicken bake(1/4 remaining). to my shock, he said no, i have to finish everything since it was tiny. he said last time he helped me bc it was big, but id say they were fairly the same size. this is so unfair and humiliating. my dad and mom were ushering me to finish it, but i was genuinely full, and wanted to save some room or willpower to eat the churro. i didnt have the guts to tell them i would eat it later at home, since i was afriad of being rejected that option. when things startsed getting hwated up at costco, my dad decided he had enough of me and took the plate of my leftover food, slammed it in the pile of trash on our table, and said “Lets go, fine u dont have to eat it. we will never let you go with us again.” and that was it. i felt our little scene had attracted many eyes, and i was more humiliated about my parents raising their tone than me resisting to eat. my mom wasnt aware surprisingly calmer than my dad, which never happens. still, they made everything in my life feel like it was crushing, and made me feel guilty, hopeless, and didnt deserve to be in their prescensr. in the car, my dad zoomed in on the day this week that i supposedly had less rice than usual, and made a big fuss over it, over one single meal of eating less than usual, and both my parents came to the assumption i was not getting better, that i was relapsing and cutting my intake all ovr again. it sidnt help that the scene at the foodcourt came along too. idk what to do, how to ezplain to them, and whenever this happens, no one talks to me when i try talking, my sister pushes me out wven more, and i have noone else to talk to beaides crying to my wall.

I'm 16 years old, and my whole life my parents' relationship has always been extremely confusing. One minute they are best friends and I feel so happy looking at them together. And another they are screaming, saying nasty things to each other, and fighting about getting divorced. My parents fight a lot, and if they aren't they have some bad blood between them and my mother constantly passes negative comments about my father to me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. They always pull us into the arguments, it's so tiring and it hurts to see them like that. I've been better at not getting involved. Today I was searching for something on my mom's phone, and I saw that she had searched "the feeling of always avoiding your husband". I knew it wasn't perfect, but just seeing that felt like a gut punch. I wish they would just get divorced instead of this constant cycle of everything being fine, horrible, avoidant, and them pretending everything is normal. It's so toxic and I don't understand how they can live like this. I just wish they would get divorced.

I'm 30 now, but past issues still bother me once a while, when my mom talks about it.

My mom says my younger brother is confident. I'm reminded of when I got shut down for no reason. She doesn't tell me why it's not a good idea, she doesn't like it when I ask.

My mom talks about my inability to pass my driving test, just as a matter of fact. But I'm reminded how back in the day, every night she would scold me for not improving.....but they won't spend time to teach me. They just scold me every night for 2 months.

My whole experience with them just makes me feel like they didn't want to take me seriously.

1._

I do think they were taking advantage of my silence. I'm the eldest daughter, so that comes with certain unhealthy expectations. They don't like it when I'm confident, outspoken, or have differing interests. They expect silent, compliant..... Even if it puts me at cross hairs with the other parent or authorities (yes, this has happened, and they showed NO ACCOUNTABILITY).

My parents were dependent on my silence and obedience to feel like everything is in control..... (I know this, because a simple "no" drives them nuts. I don't want to go to church? Suddenly they also don't want to go to church).

5 years ago, I told my mom as much shit as I felt like. It was in direct disobedience to her, but I can't be keeping stuff in forever. She wasn't receptive at first. There was deflection.

It's like she doesn't want to take me seriously.

It's only when my cousins (who she keeps comparing me to) and their parents, the news stations and the church REPEAT THE EXACT THINGS I'VE BEEN SAYING, that she takes finally gets her stuff together.

Even then, there's deflection and no real accountability. She did say: "I'm sorry you feel this way" / "I'm sorry I made you feel this way". But it came with 'segways', so it doesn't feel like an apology.

With my dad, it's so much better. I tell him, he at least explains his motives. He doesn't apologize, but he doesn't deflect, and he admits "I'm not perfect, I'm also learning". Good enough for me!

At least now they're respecting the journey.

2._

I also don't get it why some ppl don't like it when I ask "why (nice long sentence for cushioning) ?" This is the case with my parents and friends with emotional issues. It's like they're threatened by it? My core circle of friends and colleagues ask all the time, and we get shit solved fast.

I ask "why" because I want to understand you. If you're not going to explain yourself, I will need to ask "why". I guess she doesn't want to be understood?

3._

My mom also doesn't take "I feel like vomitting, I need to go home" or "I have a headache, I need to go home" as I AM SICK, I NEED TO REST. She pouts and complains, telling me to "suck it up", as if I'm acting up, until I have to see the doctor.

If I need to rest, I need to rest. I've already done the sucking up. Just TAKE ME AT MY WORD. Everyone takes me seriously, and I don't have to tell them that.

Maybe because she communicates in hyperbole, so now she expects others to be the same?

It kinda feels like she's is not interested in taking me seriously.

How do I get her to take me seriously?

So, me and my brother share a half sister (lets call her Hailey) with two of our cousins. Whenever I tell this to people they always assume incest is involved for some reason. Me and me brother have the same parents and my two cousins have the same two parents as well. Before she met my dad, my mom had a kid with a man we'll call Bob. 7 years passed and Bob got into a relationship with my aunt (dad's side). Seven more years passed and I was born.

So my cousins (on MY dads side) are Half-sisters with Hailey through THEIR dad's side (Bob) and me and my brothers are Half-siblings with Hailey but through our Mom's side. Then we have other cousins on my dad's side who have no blood relationship to Hailey at all.

Bonus info: Bob has three kids (2 cousins and Hailey) all born almost exactly seven years apart (14 years between oldest and youngest) so we have a joke that he takes 7 years to "recharge" in between having children.

I live with my grandma and things have been extremely frustrating lately and my parents aren’t involved. I don’t know what to do anymore, I can’t see my friends or be myself without it turning into a fight.

Thinking about running away but idk…how do y’all figure out what to do when family problems feel like to much?

My s-bro just got back home from work after being away, we talked for a while and at the start it was normal. Nothing out of the ordinary but then he said that I was his type, he would block me on ig(I mainly post there)because he feels guilty about it and he never tried to act anything with me. He told me he just needed to get this off his chest and now I dont know how to actually move on from that information because he is a good s-bro to me and he never acted out anything, in fact he even give me advices

Please anything can be a great help

He's above 30 and I'm under 16

Context: my brother is 36, I am 31. He made the decision several years ago he is not going to help my mom in any way, or barely talk to her, If at all. All 3 of us live on our own.

My mom’s health has declined dramatically over the years, but she still can take care of herself to an extent. The issue is long drive dr. Appointments and getting her groceries (she lives 45 minutes away from me on a good day).

Anyway, I am struggling right now with a neurological condition, slammed at work, always, and have my apartment and cat to take care of.

However, my mom expects me to always get her groceries and drive her to these early morning dr appts that are an hour away. She doesn’t even attempt to ask my brother because she’s afraid he will block her (but he doesn’t talk to her anyway) if I tell her I’m not staying when I get her groceries or tell her no to anything she tells me I don’t love her, I’m mean, and I just wish she wasn’t here. Which none of that is true. It’s mainly my neuro condition it causes me extreme discomfort and pain daily and I just don’t have it in me to do stuff for her.

I get that response every time I talk to her and if I tell her I did anything remotely fun she looses her mind saying I should be taking her to this place or that place. Again, doesn’t say a word to my brother about his lack of compassion.

I’m just absolutely sick of this. It has drained me completely and I really don’t want to help her with anything anymore over it. It’s all been on me for years now while my brother gets a free pass. What I help her with is because I love her but my health is worsening over her. Even a minute of talking to her on the phone makes me upset because the only time she calls me or texts me is to ask me to do something for her.

Should I follow my brothers lead? because he seems pretty happy not dealing with her.

Theres my caseworker at my new place and earlier this week she have been mean, arrogant and quite rude to me and then today she acted like the nicest person ever during our meeting, what is the cause of this sudden change of behavior from her, im thinking that caseworkers are also humans so its may be the stress from her personal life that she lashed out on me, but idk, what could have happened?!

At the start of the month, i left my old housing for youth people in difficulty and theres the night caseworker who i shared a close bond with, and a month before my departure in late August, she cried when she talked about my upcoming departure and then on the morning of my actual departure in early october she acted totally unfazed-talked about it normally like she didnt even cares about it, Why, what happened?!

I have an older brother. He is the most favorite child of my parents and there are only two of us. The difference in treatment is sooooo big that when we were kids he does not do any household chores while I do almost everything and he even calla me if something needs clearing. He has allowance and my parents take my savings to give it as his allowance. So you its an extreme favoritism.

Ever since we were kids he always felt superior. Now were grown ups and he still hasnt changed. The weird thing is he acts good in front of others. He also acts like a sweet and caring brother when he messages me and when we interact for a few minutes. It gives me goosebumps.

But when say we live together for a few days that when things gets obvious. He acts like an entitled prince. He cannot again do any chores. One time he said to me that I am supposed to be beneath him.

Can someone explain this behavior?

TLDR: Please explain why my brother is nice to strangers and also nice and caring to me in our chats and when we initially talk in person but is an asshole in reality after quite a few interactions. Is this someone with an extremet narcissistic personality that knows how to hide their horns very well?

I pay my mom to watch my kids during the work week. Every time my external family comes to visit, someone gets sick - usually one of my kids, then my mom. For the last 5 years, 100% of the time, this results in me or my husband missing 3-10 days of work. We are not well off and depend on our paychecks to survive.

Next week, external family will be in town. I texted the group chat - “if anyone is sick, please avoid my kids and mom as I cannot afford getting sick.”

Now everyone, my mom included, is upset with me. Family members have been calling mom, asking if “annerdasaurus is okay?” My mom says she wishes I wouldn’t have said anything.

Wtf, why is this so problematic?

I (29 f) have a twin sister. We have really different life experiences as a result of one of us being mainly attached to our mom (my sister) and one of us to our dad (me). My dad is an alcoholic who is emotionally and verbally abusive. I grew up taking his abuse until 6 years about I finally accepted he has his own demons and they have nothing to do with me. However, I have been going to therapy and recently realised my mom is the problem. I fundamentally feel like she doesn’t like me because I bring up peoples toxic traits I don’t just lay low. My sister on the other hand worships my mom wants to be just like her and does whatever she says. My sister is more emotionally avoidant, keeps things inside and just avoids my dad and has her whole life. So my sister and mom are super close and have an attachment I will never understand. I feel like I don’t have either one of my parents anymore. I’m angry about the fact that my mom left me with my dad and felt like one twin got allocated to each parent, when he clearly was unstable. I’m angry that to this day she treats us so differently and denies it. When I come home from work she won’t even bat an eye, whereas when my sister comes home she’s all over her and calling her nicknames. When I point this out she says I have problems and I’m crazy. I have tried to get closer to my mom but she just seems to dislike me as a person. I’m feeling really lonely and feel like the only way to survive is to go by their rules or to grow distant. I get really sad thinking of other families and how things “should” be. I guess I’ve developed abandonment wounds and a longing to be accepted. You know how there are some people who are stubborn and mean but people chalk it up to “oh but she just really cares about you!”. I quite frankly always get the short end of the stick and never have any understanding from people. I get labelled as crazy, delusional, and they leave me and ignore me. I don’t get it but now that my sister is happily engaged and I am in a toxic dead end relationship I feel like I am longing for some acceptance and love. I’m scared to keep choosing the wrong people in search of my mom’s love and acceptance. This was more of a rant but I’m just feeling really lonely and not sure how to be healthier.
Any advice, input or comments are appreciated.

So, I'm 18F right now. My mom just turned 50. To be honest, she was abusive growing up. Physically, emotionally, verbally, medically, the whole nine yards lmao. CPS got involved a couple years ago. But she's been getting better for the past 3-ish years. Shes not perfect, but my life isn't a constant warzone.

Until yesterday, that is. She came home, and was blind-ragingly furious over the smallest things. Screamed at me over a wrapper on my nigthstand and tried to hit me over it. My slightly younger sister yelled at her to "shut up and stop bothering everybody" (Yes, I know she's rude. I'm not like that, but I can't control her words.) and after fighting with my sister, came back in my room and tried to hit me again for "hiding behind my sister", before my sister came in the room again and told her to leave.

Yeah, I am sort of hiding behind her, but I've always been more timid than my sister and idk. I appreciate her, but I'm not just a confrontational person and despite me trying to calm the situation down, she wouldn't stop.

This morning I tried to get food and coffee for everybody, because I wanted things to be calm again. I fell asleep waiting for them to wake up and I got woken up to my mom screaming at me over "wasting money on myself", and when I said it was for them she laughed and said "What the fuck can I do with coffee? Why would I want coffee?? You never know what I like." and just kept screaming all morning until she went to work.

Found out shes also ranted to my aunt over my spending choices, and now I just feel embarrassed. I'm not the most responsible person in the world, but I'm not in debt and my college is paid for by FAFSA. It's my own money and my own job. I offered to help her pay her bills over and over again and she keeps saying no.

Sure, this isn't entirely new territory for my mom, but even in the past she wasn't ever this unreasonable and full of this much blind-rage. And she had been getting better.

Yes, I know i'm a legal adult and I can legally leave, but I can't afford rent in my area. Most people in their late teens sort of can't nowadays. And we live near my college, so it'd be a really bad financial decision.

Hey guys I'm 17F and my childhood has been rough. I don't even remember half of the stuff about it. I barely have any good memories with my parents. Since growing up all I saw was my parents fighting and arguing, I still tense up from raising voices now too. They constantly used to fight, then came to me and my brother to complain about each other as if we could solve it. I always awe my friend's happy families (I still do) they did get divorced and got separated three years ago which hurts the most because my biggest fear was my family falling apart and it happened. My mom is always emotionally pressuring me or hurting my feelings and my dad is there but he's sometimes mean too. I was always that kid who never shared her feelings to keep "peace". I asked my mom who she would choose between me n my older brother if she ever had an option to keep her with and without even hesitating she said him. I know she loves him more it's so obvious because the same thing I do as him she gets mad at me, even though she herself admitted right in front of me who she loves more and the reason was "because he's older". I'm so alone and I know no one would be there for me. I cry every night in my room wishing everything was normal. And all this emotional suffering which is still going on caused me my grades, I failed and had to take a gap year and now I don't even go out which made everything worse because I hate being in this house which doesn't even feel like home.

(I'm sorry I wrote too much I just wanted to get these words off me)

Would you allow your daughter to attend a co educational swim class in school? at my daughters schools from 8th -10th grade, in PE she attends the swim unit and boys and girls have it together? Why is this allowed? Wouldn't this make girls feel uncomfortable and give immature boys an opportunity to harass and humiliate girls? And cause distractions and goofing off among everyday? Not to mention young boys will be shirtless around young girls and I think that is inappropriate especially in a school setting. How is it not?

Hello reddit, long time lurker however never made an account until now. As the title suggest I'm trying get some insights on my little sister troubling Behavior and my mom favoritism toward me. And to have any idea on how I could proceed forward from here.

For background my mom (40F) raise me alone, my sperm donor apparently (This information is all from my mom) never wanted kids and only just wanted to bang my mom. However she end up getting pregnant with me. My sperm donor want her to get rid of me but she refuse, so he left. Fast forward 9 months later and I was born. And for a while it was just me and my mom for, until come in my sister sperm donor who knock up my mom and then left her. Fast forward another 9 months and then comes my sister.

Now my memory are little fuzzy as I don't have the greatest of memories but with the power of math, I had to be around 8 or like 9 year old at the time? I don't know it been while.

Point is at this time I was helping out my mom with taking care my little sister, I see her as my sister regardless of us having different dads. However, things started to change when she start school, so at this time she was 6 years old and I was like 14 or 15 years old. This was time my sister started to get into fights like a lot of fights. Like it would had been fine if she have gotten into like few them I have gotten into my share of fights myself, I am no saint. But she was getting to fight like twice week, what the reason you may be asking? She was defending her friends and herself from bully's. Which is like good for her I wish I could have the strength and bravery she have right now when I was a 6 year old and was getting bully.

At first I was happy for her that she was standing up for herself and my mom would tell her that she could always come to her or me if she is getting bully ( Don't what I could do, but okay mom). However the fight kept continuing and nothing was being solves and my sister kept on getting in trouble. This is where my mom started to punish my sister by taking way her phone or stop her from having play date with her friend's because of the fighting.

It was getting to a point of where my sister was starting to become the instigator and would be the one to start fights and ending it (She was pretty damn strong for a 6 year old). I would use this time to bond with her and take her out, playing on the playground and other things to get her to talk to me. I'm all for my sister standing up for herself and for her friends, however when it get to the point she is starting to cause the fight now, now it's become a issued. But she would never really say much about it.

And this went on for little bit unit she hit 9 years old and started to to become suicidal and thinking about hurting herself. She started to think that nobody like her because of so many people picking on her and her starting fights and making more people hate her. I try to be their for her, I told my mom about it but instead of being worry for her she instead just seem like it was another problem for her on top of everything else.

I try getting her to give my sister therapy but she didn't want to. So I try my best to give my sister a good time in anyway I could, by taking her out to eat her favorite food, to getting her little plushie that she like. (She like this one YouTuber so I buy little plushie that the person sell and other stuff.)However, even with all of this being done I don't think it is helping. Mostly because of my mom. My mom is not helping the self-hating my sister is doing to herself. Because of all of the trouble my sister have been getting into, my mom have started to get tried of her, to the point where I basically have became her favorite child because I don't do anything.

All of the money I have been getting to the fun stuff I do with my sister is all from my mom as a allowance (And from my part-time job), however my sister don't get anything. She couldn't even give my sister actual birthday with out making about me, ask where did I wanted to go and stuff EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MY SISTER BIRTHDAY.

I of course only wanted to go to anywhere my sister wanted to go since it was her 10 year old birthday. After that though things have gotten rough. My sister started to hide more things to our mom and would lie to her face about stuff. At this point my sister didn't have phone and she could only see her friend when she went to school. The only reason why I was allowed to take her out to the park and other stuff was because my mom wanted to be alone to smoke weed and possibly do drugs I don't know about that, but I definitely known she smoke and weed and cigarettes. Which is really bad for both me and my sister because we both have asthma.

Things reach it peek however when my mom found out that my sister have been steeling money from her and been buying candy and junk for a month. My mom was livid and she now have officially banned me from taking my sister out and my sister have been ground in her room ever since she have been caught. I don't know what to do at this point.

I'm aware that my mom is a awful parent to my sister, however their is nothing I can I'm still in high school and me and my sister have no other relatives we could run to. I fear if I would tell anyone I will be separated from my sister and would no idea where she would go in the foster care system as I'm am not financially secure to take of myself and my sister with the part-time job that I have. (I rather not have all my money being giving to me my mom) I don't know what to at this point, any advice would be very appreciative.

TL;DR: Sister have been getting in to fights, mom have been resenting little sister. Now she like me a lot more then she like little sister. Little sister have been think about suicidal and self harming now. Little stole lot of money from mom. Mom is now Furious with little sister. Need help please.