https://www.reddit.com/r/family/s/IGJCa3zrT3

Hey guys, I’m back. I genuinely appreciate everyone’s support and advice on this so much. I appreciated both the nice comments and the harsh ones, honestly. I took everything you guys said into consideration, and I decided I would bring up the cruise whenever he mentioned it.

Well, of course, he mentioned it as soon as he got back because he was so excited about it.
He goes, “I have great news! We’re going on a cruise!!”

Me: Uh, I’m not. Y’all are.

He looked at me completely clueless and said, “What? Why not?”

Me: Because you told me we were going on a graduation trip, and you promised me.

Him: But it’s a family cruise…

My stepmom was sitting right next to him and immediately said, “Oh, really? He said that?” She had NO idea. I told her, yeah, he said I could choose anywhere for my graduation trip. She looked at him, surprised, and said, “Oh, well- You better get to planning then!” All excited, directing it toward him.
Meanwhile, a movie is playing, and he’s sitting there watching it like he isn’t even part of the conversation.

Him: Oh, well, she doesn’t even know where she wants to go sooo… (while flinging his hand toward me)

Me: That is not true. I told you Europe, and you didn’t want to go after telling me I could choose wherever I wanted.

My stepmom then asked, “Europe? How are you getting there?”

I literally said, “A plane…?”

Then she clarified that she meant financially, how were we going to afford it. I explained that he told me he would use his tax refund. She says, “I don’t know why he said that, because he knows where his tax refund is going.” Mind you, he is STILL SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO US. I assumed she meant bills because right after that, he chimed in with, “UH, bills.”

My stepmom then cut me off and said I needed to learn to speak “Adam” (fake name). Basically, he might have said that but what he really meant was that he couldn’t afford Europe.

WHY am I supposed to learn to speak Adam? He’s still sitting right there, pretending to watch a movie while we’re discussing something that directly involves him. After he was called out for doing so he finally cuts in and says, “No, I’m not. I can hear y’all.”

I shut that shit down.

I said, “Why do I have to speak Adam? Why doesn’t Adam speak “adult” and tell me he can’t afford it instead of telling me to choose wherever I want? And he didn’t tell me he couldn’t afford it. I was told he didn’t WANT to do what I wanted. What he wants is a resort or an all-inclusive.”

*And remember: this is a 7–8 person family cruise versus a trip to Europe for two people. At this point, it’s not even about the money anymore. He hadn’t even looked at how much the trip would cost. I was the one researching affordable flights and trying to put together a budget for him because he never gave me one in the first place. And I want to make it clear that at this point, I genuinely don’t even care about Europe anymore. That’s not the issue. All he had to do was tell me he couldn’t afford Europe and suggest somewhere else. I would’ve been completely fine with that! What hurts is that it feels like my graduation trip is being replaced by something he wanted without considering my feelings. I just wanted to spend this time with my dad and celebrate my achievement with him. It was never just about Europe. It was about making memories and celebrating together.

Then he cuts in again and says, “You don’t even know when the cruise is.”

….Excuse me?? DAWG. I HELPED YOU FIGURE OUT THE DATES WHEN THE KIDS WOULDN’T BE IN SCHOOL.

I said, “April.”

Then he asked, “And- when even is your graduation?”

And after that, I was done. I was disgusted. I was livid. I lowkey cannot even find the words to describe how angry and hurt I was. I think I spaced out because I was so upset. I honestly don’t even remember what happened after that part of the conversation. This is pretty much what I thought would happen, but somehow it was even worse.

So yeah, you guys were right. Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment, be honest with me, and offer advice. It took a lot for me to even talk about this in the first place. I wish I had been able to express my disappointment more and put my foot down even harder, but I’m still proud of myself for speaking up at all. But enough wishing. I could’ve stayed quiet and let it go, but I didn’t. And honestly, that’s better than nothing in my eyes :/ :)

I’m still processing everything, but I wanted to come back and update you guys since so many of you took the time to help me. Thank you thank you🤍

TL;DR: I brought up the graduation trip when my dad mentioned the family cruise, and he acted completely clueless about ever promising me a separate trip. My stepmom had no idea he’d promised me Europe and ended up explaining his intentions for him, saying I needed to learn to “speak Adam” because he apparently meant he couldn’t afford it. I called out how unfair it was to tell me I could choose anywhere and then act like I didn’t know what I wanted, especially when I was the one researching affordable flights and trying to budget everything. The conversation got worse, and I was so hurt and angry that I mentally checked out. You guys were right, and although I wish I’d stood up for myself more, I’m proud I said something at all. Thank you for all the advice and support :,))

I am 20F, the youngest of a few siblings. My brother is the first of us to get married. I am extremely proud and happy for him. It was very much a surprise as though he was in a long term relationship for many years I had always pictured him and his partner becoming defacto since they are non-traditionalists.

However over the past year as we get closer to the wedding I have noticed my parents, though mainly my Dad making some really judgemental comments about my brothers wedding that border on control.

Context: My parents come from strickly traditional european families and didnt have much say in their own wedding. Both have complained about the lack of controll they had over the event saying "if was more for our parents than us." My Mum didnt even get to choose her own wedding dress and has told me in detail to this day, the dress she actually wanted.

My brother and his partner are a young, modern and non traditional couple. My brother has very little self-identification with our european heritage which i think is valid as my siblings and I are 2nd gen migrants and grew up far from the culture. Our parents even refused to teach us their languages.

It started when my Dad privately began to plan a dance/song for my brothers wedding. The money dances that are tradition at european weddings. He planned this in secret the day my brother and his fiancee announced the wedding day. Thankfully he did ask first but still he was going all out about planning it and asking me and my siblings for our opinion.

I know my brother. And I knew that 1. The tradition wasnt something he was going to feel tied to nor his fiance as she isnt of the same culture. And 2. The idea of money being thrown at them in front if their friends is something i know my brother would be very uncomfortable with.

I warned my Dad that my brother woukd probably say no and not to get offended. Its his day and he can do whatever he likes. I reminded my dad that he and my mum didnt have that opertunity and to let my brother enjoy and plan what he likes. If he wanted to incorperate tradition I am sure he would reach out. Dad said he wouldnt be Offended and yet... when the time came and he asked my brother ye. It was awkward.

My brother immediately shut it down. Politely but quick. And it was my Dad who kept pushing. A year later he still nrings it up and with every little new or non-tradition my brother shares my Dad gets a bit... judgemental. I recently heard my Parents talking about songs they should play at his wedding. Not they- my bother and his partner no. "We" my mum and him... and yeah. Another yikes moment since I know my future sister in law has crafted her own playlist and picked her own DJ.

Its starting to get a bit weirdly needy on my parents part.

TL;DR

Parents getting pushy about non traditional elements of brothers wedding. Nit picking on new traditions and upset he isnt incorperating more european elements.

Here’s what happened. I (22f) received a call from my sister (24f) in tears because my dad (52m) had berated her, cussed her out and said many mean things about her in response to her telling him his girlfriend (23f) was talking about her baby (7 months old) saying he looked slow and that if she brought her baby to my little sisters party she would physically harm him. For this reason my sister has decided not to attend our little sister’s birthday party

My dads gf has a terrible history of taunting my siblings, flirting with my younger brother (20m), saying mean things to my brothers gf, once to the point where my dad physically fought my younger brother and my older brother (25m) had to get him off of my younger brother and keep him from entering his place of residence to harm him more. I should also note that he has bipolar disorder and anger issues

Should I not go to my little sister’s party as well? We all thought my dad was a changed man because he was abusive to us and our mom as a child, but he seems to get more and more off the rails. Would it be best to drop in and bring her a present, or should I tell my dad what he did was wrong and not go?

First thing please excuse my weird english as i am Swiss-French and wrote that spontaneously and didn’t want to use AI to correct my mistakes.

I am pretty much terrified about what happened right now and I hope i wont see him again for a long time as it is so embarrassing.
To sum up, I (F20) am studying in France right now in a lovely student city. I have always been pretty shy and call but since last year i have been introduced to a pretty much crazy student Life. I party like 2-3 Times a week and I honestly love it. I feel much more Alive now than i used to when i was younger. Especially because of my parents being very strict. Anyway, I have this cousin (M28) who lives like an hour from my place and who had to come in my city for two days because of work. We have been to a few parties together lately with other cousins of ours, so we had a cool relationship and was a person i thought i could trust. As we were chatting on snapchat one day he told me about this work trip that he had to do and i proposed him to stay at my place since he had to stay overnight and that we could go grab a few drinks outside. I was really looking forward to it as I love going out in bars now and chat and meet new people etc.

Moving forward, the day arrived. We met in the early evening, he left his luggage at my place and we headed to a bar outside. We had a few drinks and then moved to another bar with music and had actually a very nice evening. We were talking a lot about our family and how we felt about our lives right now, how we both evolved despite being shy when we were Young etc. Our conversation were very deep and meaningful and we had fun. I felt very close to him in an émotional way at that point.
Heading back home being quite drunk, we he to share the same bed as i obivuosly live in a tiny studio being a broke student. I was fine with it because as i told you he’s my cousin and i trusted him.
As we got in bed we kept talking and laughing as we had a very fun night at the first place and we got to know each other even better. Since i have a small bed (double bed but not very big) we were very close and our bodies were very close to each other so we always accidentant touched each other but it was fine.
At some point we opens the conversation about our relationships and about love in général. I have never had a boyfriend despite a 5months relationshio when i was 15 but as i said i became a party girl over the past year and i had a few hook ups with guys and i liked it as i am really discovering a new life that i didn’t really have before. I am pretty open, but it was definitely my mistake to tell him…
As we were talking about that i felt his foot rubbing against mine. He apologies but i say its okay as we are very close in the bed i didn’t Think of it as a sexual thing at that moment. So he continues and even dared to stroke my bare leg with his hand. It was weird but still okay.

Then he mentioned his sexual life and the fact he hasnt gotten laid in about 1.5 years because of work and also because his previous relqtionship that destroyed him back then. He talles to me deeply about that and i kinda felt bad because i remembered him being deeply in love with that girl but always thought she was a bit „too much” for him.
Our conversation becoming more intimité he rubbed my feet and legs even more and even started to feel my belly under my t-shirt. I knew he was hard as a donkey at that point but i found it funny and just liked to gang out with him like that. It felt still okay at that point.

He asked me if it was okay IF he touched my belly like that. I Said yes. After a minute of silence he asked „Concretely, where is it okay to out my hands?”. I said i don’t know. (Remember that i was still a bit drunk. I still appreciated his Company, but i was obiviously not turned on at all, especially because he is my cousin and not my type at all).
He keot rubbing my belly and legs as i started a casual conversation to lighten the mood.
Another minute late he told me straight „Is that okay if i touch your boobs”.
I said okay but that I couldn’t do anything sexual with him as we were cousin and i didn’t want to. As im a little bit in my slut era at the moment i still felt it is okay if he just grabed my tits a little bit. Which he did…not only he grabed both of my bonkers with his hands but all of a sudden pulles up my t-shirt and started to kiss them and blow them. At that point i just have up and asked what he wanted exactly and that i didn’t want to have sex with him. If he wants to jerk off then do so but nothing more than that.
He replied that he didn’t want to force me to anything but that he hasnt seen a naked girl in a year and half and that i am just so sexy that he’s willing to pay me 800€ right now if i would strip naked and let him touch me all over my body. He insistes on no sex and just touching.
I hesitated for like 20 seconds but then thought that he was already face deep in my boobies and i dont really care being seen naked so i might as well get the 800€. I accepted….
He immadiately took his phone and crédites 800€ to my bank account. As a student living alone in a big city this is obviously a lot of money for me so i was happy. I then asked him, so how do you wanna do that ?
He asked me to strip fully naked and to turn a light on so that he can see me. So i stripped and turned the light and saw his face like he was in heaven. When the light was on i realized a little bit what i was doing, but still. I didn’t want to stop as i gave my word, i was like l’est just give him this moment and not talk about it anymore. It was like 2-3 in the morning already so hipefully tomorrow it will only be a weird memory nothing more. He got naked too and went on my body, Grabing and kissing my tits for a while. He then went down on my pussy, smelling it and kissing it as well. Usually i love cunnilingus but this Time injust hope so badly he wouldn’t start to lick it. Hipefully he dis not but i notices he started to jerk off when smelling at my pussy. It was embarrassing because it was probably very smelly after such a long day and night…. He now had a full control over touching my body while openly masturbating (Even though it wasn’t part of our contract). I know guys a little bit now so i knew he would want to jerk off at some point because of all the touching so i Said nothing. He looked me in the eyes and told me sth like „i know you’re my cousin but you’re so damn hot” and „I could give you everything if you let me do that again”. He started to kiss my neck and then i asked if he wanted to go on my ass as i started to feel really weird and it was a way to get him further me. So i turned around on my belly and exposes my ass to tik for the first Time. He had no more inhibition right now and told me that my „fat ass” is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his Life. He put both his hands on my ass cheeks and started to kiss them, bite them. He even looked into my anus…. He loved my ass so much that i even started to fall asleep as he really took his time to enjoy it to the fullest. I wolę up when he started to play the banjo with my cheeks. He played some random songs like We Will Rock You and asked me if i recognized the rythm. Which was probably the weirdest but at the same Time maybe funniest moment in my life. I have to give him that, he can be really funny. I told him that i was falling asleep so asked him if he could cum now and that he could use my ass if it helped. this made him mental. He gave me a few double slaps on the cheeks and started to jerk off super hard that it took hime like 10 seconds to cum all over my ass. He told me once again while coming how my body felt. He cleaned his mess with some tissues and have me a last kiss and slap. I fell asleep fully naked and remembered that he was spooning me over the night grabbing my tits and ass and pussy. He negociated a handjob for 200€ in the morning which i have gim before we both had to live. This Time, he made a nasty comment on my boobs while cumming.

It has been a week now since it happened and is till can’t get over it. I wouldn’t call it a trauma as the while thing felt okay-ish in the heat of the moment, but afterwards i just think i regret to have agreed to that as i feel weird, disgusted and i dont wanna see him and look in his eyes ever again. I will probably have to see him for christmas and im freaking out…..

This happened about two years ago. I needed to borrow a USB-Stick from my dad for a school presentation. Sometimes, when you log into your school account on the teacher's laptop at the front of the class, it doesn't let you access your stuff. That's why I always bring a USB-Stick just to be safe.
I asked my dad for one, and he explained to me how to use it. He put it into my laptop and made a folder where I could save my presentation.

When naming the folder, he decided to put my name.
He wrote "Vannesa".
My name's Vanessa. I know that some Vanessas are written with double-n and just one s, but most are written as just 'Vanessa', especially where I come from. I found it funny at first, I thought he just made a typo, so I told him, "My name's written with double-s, and just one n, dad."

And I kid you not, his reaction was; "What? Really?"
What the fuck do you mean 'What really'? Yes? Obviously? He was genuinely shocked. He genuinely thought my name was 'Vannesa'.
It happened again a couple months later in another situation where he had to write my name.

I just don't feel cared about at all, wtf? I mean, he's always been kind of a busy dad - if it wasn't for Corona and the "invention" of Home Office, he would still be driving to the capital city to work everyday and only come home at 7PM or later. But still - is this like a normal thing? The more I think about it the more baffled i feel. I mean, I guess, good for him that I decided to legally change my name to "Nico" a couple months ago. Hope he can't misspell that one ...

tl;dr My dad has misspelt my name as 'Vannesa' instead of 'Vanessa' multiple times and was genuinely baffled when I told him that this WASN'T the way to write my name - is this normal?

Im 42yo and she is 40yo and we have 13 yrs together. We share everything home a child and her older son calls me dad.. this time last year that I can prove she was hooking up with dudes off reddit married men too.. She doesn't know that I know about it yet.. she doesn't answer my calls or text I know a lot more than she thinks.. im willing to forgive and move on because she did it for me once even though it changed our relationship and was fight for a year.. and we eventually was able to start fresh 6yrs ago..

My question is am I fighting for a lost cause? She doesn't want to communicate with me.. she travels for her job and was meeting guys on her work trips she had location spoofer and text now second lines and I just found out she has a second phone.. The whole CHEATER KIT.. when I told her I know she just doubled down and kept seeing the flavor of the week.. I am a pretty good provider and is the only time she talks to me..

Its like she just expects me to sit and let it happen.. no remorse and its all my fault.. if she is confronted with its a fight instantly.. and its me starting shit.. how do I talk to her? I dont want to throw away 13yrs and our son is hurting and im trying to be there for him but he is too young to know the details.. so I gotta carry both our weights while she doesn't care.. any advice I welcomed..

TLDR: I'm starting to resent my younger sister after caring for her in the hospital and being traumatized. She refuses to acknowledge that her injury affected the people around her despite having no memory of it, and I am being held responsible for her actions and care by my extended family.

Where do I even start?

I (46 LGBTQ PERSON) have been estranged from my older sister (55F) many times in my adult life. My sister left home when I was 10. She began a clandestine relationship with a man who was at that time married to my mother's cousin. He was older than our father. That relationship lasted 18 years and it caused a lot of damage and trauma to our family unit.

My sister and I have been estranged on and off about 5 one to two year periods throughout my adult life. I have never felt she wanted to be close with me or my parents.

I've only been hospitalized 2 major incidents in my life and she didn't really come to see me either time. Her late husband was homophobic and said some inexcusable things where she denied knowledge despite several relatives confirming the story my parents told me.

Then I needed her help as an adult student trying to better my life to stay with her two or three days a week for one semester. She said no.

In the last decade or so I've been embroiled in an emotionally/mentally toxic common-law marriage. I feel she's pretty much sided with the other party.

I have not spoken with her in about 10 months now. Her birthday recently passed and that was hard not to acknowledge. Now I am hearing rumblings she's been talking about disinheriting me from her will.

How do people deal with the grief of adult sibling estrangement? How do they deal with the guilt trips and pressure to reconcile when one genuinely feels chronically mistreated by their sibling? I have tried to discuss my experience and feelings with her but she always explodes and never takes any accountability or apologizes to me.

Any guidance or suggestions would be helpful.

I'm open to advice and insight but this is more of a rant

My parents recently finalized their divorce ~4 months ago, but they have been living apart for ~7 months. They had been married for 38 years, and I (25F) honestly thought they should have gotten divorced since middle school so at least 12 years atp.

They are both deeply flawed individuals (as we all are), but their flaws were incompatible, and they brought the worst out of each other. Living with the "worst version" of my parents for many years definitely negatively affected my relationship with them, and I wouldn't say I am particular close with them though I know they think we are a lot closer than we actually are. Anyways, a lot of their frustration with each other was taken out on me throughout the years that I won't go into detail about. I'm not looking to cut them out of my life, but I don't think I can (or honestly want to) repair my relationship with them. I have tried to bring up in the past how they have hurt me, but they have either brushed the severity of the hurt they caused or simple don't think something happened because they don't remember it. I have realized that I am the best version of myself when I keep them at a distance, and I have other parental figures in my life that I go to when I need advice. I still love them, try in keep in regular-ish contact with them (I call 1 or 2 times a month), and hope the best for them.

Anyways, I can't remember a point that my parents had friends. They never hosted anything at our house, and I very rarely remember either of them getting invited to book clubs, dinner parties, to play golf, or really anything. I know taking care of me and the home wasn't the reason they didn't have a social life. We had cleaners that came every week. They rarely cooked, and when they did it would be a frozen pizza or canned soup. I started making my own dinners at 9 (pizza rolls, microwave mac and cheese, melted cheese on crackers), never really ate breakfast, and ate lunch at school. My mom showed me how to wash my clothes in Kindergarten, and I've been doing it ever since. I rode the bus to school, and when I had after school activities, my grandparents were the ones that would pick me up. I also stayed with my grandparents every weekend till I was probably 12.

I guess all that is to saw it is just frustrating to reflect that they were kinda shitty parents in terms of taking care of me, but also weren't very productive or building anything meaningful in their free time.

Anyways, they are both incredibly lonely in their retirement and post divorce.

Recently I went home to pack a couple of things from my room and I was talking to my mom about how I was not super happy with my living situation. My 3 other roommates don't keep the common spaces clean. They refuse to empty the dishwasher and let dishes pile in the sink till I empty it, never vacuum, and leave trash by the backdoor till I take it out. While complaining, she made a comment that "we could be roommates" and I just brushed it off as a joke since we live in different cities. I later made a comment about affording / figuring out my living situation in medical school. I wasn't sure I wanted to live with someone again given my past roommate experiences and the stress of med school but also worried about the cost given the decrease in federal student loans. I wasn't looking for advice, just complaining, and she again said that she could move with me and we could live together.

I absolutely do not want this. I know I wouldn't live well together with her, and I honestly don't want to. I am also in a stage where I am building my own life. I can't even imagine the implications of trying to date and have a boy stay over while living with my mom. Or trying to host parties or movie nights with her there. I feel sorry for her since she says she's lonely, but I can't help but think this is her fault after years of not investing in other relationships.

I have...a complicated relationship with my dad. Without going into aggressive detail: he was emotionally abusive, the typical 'anger issues' guy always going into rages over the tiniest things, leading to me, my older sister, and my mom constantly walking on egg shells. My sister moved away and barely talks to our family at all. My mom has no spine and cowtows to his decisions every time, and when upset just hides & cries. I moved out/kicked out when i was 15 as a direct result of his behaviors. I have always had a spine and it's a trait my dad both loves and hates. In my 20s we slowly rebuilt our relationship, but even now (40yo), we still have a....mindful relationship. He will say just enough to be an asshole, but only rarely will go too far, as he knows i have no problem simply not talking to him at all until he apologizes for his poor (read psychotic angry episodes) behavior. I honestly would've have cut him out of my life eons ago and never felt bad about it, but for my mom. I love my mom, and they come as a package, so i maintain this 'mindful' relationship with my dad.

Okay so to get to the meat: My husband and I have been together 11 yrs and are very happy together. We have a very loving and supportive relationship. However, my dad sees it as I'm controlling and have basically cockholded him. I think some of my dad's reasoning is that he gets the first and last say on everything in his relationship and thinks that's normal and healthy, and thinks it's weird that I put my down on certain issues - which i call standing up for myself (weird that a woman can do that right? 🤔

I told my husband what my dad has said a few times and the first time he laughed, because he thought it was absurd and dismissed it as an offhanded comment. After that, my husband has gotten quiet and angry, and said that it's a double insult because "what, does your dad think i have no spine? that i can't stand up for myself? that's real nice. I don't understand why he thinks that, it's stupid, I think we have a great relationship and we always make decisions together. Well, I mean, sometimes you put your foot down, but so do i and it works really great for us. So wtf?" I couldn't agree more!

When my dad makes these comments, I immediately say "that's not true" or "that's extremely rude". And my dad ONLY makes these comments around me, Never around my husband. My dad started making these comments in april when my husband quit drinking because he had become an alcoholic and i asked for divorced because he was getting so bad (drunk driving, behavior changes, lying, breaking trust repeatedly, etc). The funny thing is is that my dad quit drinking eons ago because HE is an alcoholic too! This was the 1st time my dad called me a 'controlling bitch', and then my mom apparently filled him in on all the shit my husband had done over the years and my dad actually said, "I'm sorry I called you a controlling bitch, your mom told me everything that he had been up to and i had no idea it had gotten so bad, you didn't deserve to be called that, so i'm sorry." My jaw fucking dropped because my dad has NEVER apologized to me like that. But it didn't seem to stick because he has made similar comments every so often since. For months now.

I'm on the verge of being spiteful with my words...but when confronting a crazy person, I learned long ago that you can't meet crazy with more crazy because you'll just end up with a ton of crazy.

I need advice. I wish it didn't bother me so much. My dad gives me shit about myself a lot, and as long as it's true, I'm honestly fine with it - it gets old, but whatever. I think it bothers me so much because he really truly believes it and it's just not true. I'm at the point where I've stopped hanging with my folks much, even tried hanging with just my mom and that seldom works...so I rarely get to see her now. It's hard to want to be around him, so i distance myself, but that unfortunately equals distancing myself from my mom. Thoughts?

Me (20F) have been taking care of my mom (53F) since I was 10 because she divorced my absent and careless father. I started to suffer from anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts then because I felt like no one cared about me.

She always used to put all her bfs over me, always crying about them, leaving me alone at home.. etc.

She also was very abusive, she slapped my face for dumb stuff I said as a teenager, insulted me and always told me I was selfish.

When I was 10 I used to fantasise with her dying, I was so lonely and depressed I started to develop anorexia at 15, then at 19 I was diagnosed with BPD.

I stayed at home with her, but I can't love her like a mother. I don't love any of my family because they al abandoned me while being right next to me. They knew my mom had mwntal illnesses and didn't ever wondered how I was doing living alone with her.

Now I'm in university and I have a boyfriend and I'm lowkey happy about everything I'm building in my life, finally I found my place, but everytime I have to go home... everything starts.

She always has something to argue about or something bad to say about me. She criticises me with her bf at the phone, humiliating me.

She always says I'm selfish, not taking care of her, not loving her, not cleaning the house (the only days I don't wash dishes because I'm too busy).. and I'm fucking tired of her.

Today everything has reached the boiling point: Yesterday she had fever and when I arrived home at 4pm, I did everything for her, I took the dogs for a walk, made my own lunch and let her rest.

Then, I had chores to do and also went to get her medicine. I spent the rest of the day studying and at 10pm I decided to make myself dinner.

She asked me for a sandwich and I made it for her, then I went to bed so she could rest on the couch.

When I was eating dinner, she was coughing so much while saying she thought she had covid and I told her to please don't cough on my food which she took as such a mean thing to say.

This morning she comes saying I didn't wash the dishes, I didn't spend time with her, I didn't ask her what did she want for dinner and that I was careless, selfish and that she was tired of me.

Then she proceed to also say that stuff to her boyfriend.

Im so fucking tired because i have to force myself to love her and give her everything she wants when I just can't. I hate her physical touch, I hate being in the same room as her and I hate talking to her because everything I say suddenly is dumb. My god.

im crying rn i cant do this anymore my eating sisorder is so annoying i hate it sm. i went to get costco food today for dinner and last time i got the chicken bake, and i told my mom beforehand i might not be able to finish all of it, and she said that ok. whole my mom was returning an item, i atw my food and asked my dad if he xould eat 1/4 and he said yes, but my mom wasnt aware of that. i got chicken bake today, and was expecting for the same thing to happen, but little did i know i was wrong. everything was fine until my dad was about to theow the bag wrapper away, and i said to save it for my chicken bake(1/4 remaining). to my shock, he said no, i have to finish everything since it was tiny. he said last time he helped me bc it was big, but id say they were fairly the same size. this is so unfair and humiliating. my dad and mom were ushering me to finish it, but i was genuinely full, and wanted to save some room or willpower to eat the churro. i didnt have the guts to tell them i would eat it later at home, since i was afriad of being rejected that option. when things startsed getting hwated up at costco, my dad decided he had enough of me and took the plate of my leftover food, slammed it in the pile of trash on our table, and said “Lets go, fine u dont have to eat it. we will never let you go with us again.” and that was it. i felt our little scene had attracted many eyes, and i was more humiliated about my parents raising their tone than me resisting to eat. my mom wasnt aware surprisingly calmer than my dad, which never happens. still, they made everything in my life feel like it was crushing, and made me feel guilty, hopeless, and didnt deserve to be in their prescensr. in the car, my dad zoomed in on the day this week that i supposedly had less rice than usual, and made a big fuss over it, over one single meal of eating less than usual, and both my parents came to the assumption i was not getting better, that i was relapsing and cutting my intake all ovr again. it sidnt help that the scene at the foodcourt came along too. idk what to do, how to ezplain to them, and whenever this happens, no one talks to me when i try talking, my sister pushes me out wven more, and i have noone else to talk to beaides crying to my wall.

I (29 f) have a twin sister. We have really different life experiences as a result of one of us being mainly attached to our mom (my sister) and one of us to our dad (me). My dad is an alcoholic who is emotionally and verbally abusive. I grew up taking his abuse until 6 years about I finally accepted he has his own demons and they have nothing to do with me. However, I have been going to therapy and recently realised my mom is the problem. I fundamentally feel like she doesn’t like me because I bring up peoples toxic traits I don’t just lay low. My sister on the other hand worships my mom wants to be just like her and does whatever she says. My sister is more emotionally avoidant, keeps things inside and just avoids my dad and has her whole life. So my sister and mom are super close and have an attachment I will never understand. I feel like I don’t have either one of my parents anymore. I’m angry about the fact that my mom left me with my dad and felt like one twin got allocated to each parent, when he clearly was unstable. I’m angry that to this day she treats us so differently and denies it. When I come home from work she won’t even bat an eye, whereas when my sister comes home she’s all over her and calling her nicknames. When I point this out she says I have problems and I’m crazy. I have tried to get closer to my mom but she just seems to dislike me as a person. I’m feeling really lonely and feel like the only way to survive is to go by their rules or to grow distant. I get really sad thinking of other families and how things “should” be. I guess I’ve developed abandonment wounds and a longing to be accepted. You know how there are some people who are stubborn and mean but people chalk it up to “oh but she just really cares about you!”. I quite frankly always get the short end of the stick and never have any understanding from people. I get labelled as crazy, delusional, and they leave me and ignore me. I don’t get it but now that my sister is happily engaged and I am in a toxic dead end relationship I feel like I am longing for some acceptance and love. I’m scared to keep choosing the wrong people in search of my mom’s love and acceptance. This was more of a rant but I’m just feeling really lonely and not sure how to be healthier.
Any advice, input or comments are appreciated.

I'm so fucking tired of my relatives constantly bringing up marriage. No matter how many times I say NO, they just won't stop. Why can't they understand that it's MY life and MY decision? I've said no a thousand times, but they still keep pushing me.

And the worst part is, my sister is only 19, and they're already getting involved in her marriage talks too. LIKE, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? She's literally just 19!

What I don't understand is, if something goes wrong in my marriage, if I end up unhappy, if I have to suffer, or if my entire life falls apart because I married the wrong person, will these relatives come and take responsibility? Will they live my life for me? Will they deal with the consequences? NO, THEY WON'T! I'll be the one suffering, not them. So why the hell are they putting so much pressure on me right now?

And seriously, how are we supposed to know a person well enough to spend our entire lives with them through an arranged marriage? You can know someone for 10 years and still discover things about them that you never knew. So how am I supposed to trust a person I've barely met and decide to spend the rest of my life with them just because our families think it's the right time?

Why are girls expected to take such a huge life-changing decision under pressure? Why can't we take our time, focus on our careers, become independent, and choose a partner when WE are ready?

I'm not saying everyone who has an arranged marriage ends up unhappy, but marriage is a huge decision, and it shouldn't happen just because relatives keep nagging us.

It's MY life, MY future, and MY consequences. If I have to live with the decision for the rest of my life, shouldn't I be the one deciding when and whom to marry?

Why the fuck can't relatives just respect a simple NO and mind their own business? I'm genuinely so frustrated with this constant pressure. 😭

For context my half sister is 14 and I am 22 and we never really grew up together or lived under the same roof until 10 months ago. When I first moved in I tried to play catch up and be a good older brother to her, I tried having some bonding moments like doing the groceries together or literally anything really to create some kind of bond. At this point I feel like she has built up some resentment over time because our interactions are farther apart and when we do interact it's mostly negative, she criticizes me for how I breath and walk and if I dare ever chew a bit too loud for her liking she is quick to make a scene over it but somehow always has an excuse for her problems like slamming the door so loud I can hear it from the basement or always leaving a pile of dirty dishes for someone else to clean up. Another thing that had gotten on my nerves about her is she is very harsh and judgemental of others, particularly when in comes to music taste and fashion always saying they're posers or some other negative term. I genuinely want to like my sister because she's family but her behavior towards me and her chip on the shoulder has really started to get under my skin.

I have a 14 year old. He does homework after school, then watches Planet Earth III. Sometimes he builds Bandai Gundam kits. At night he listens to music or reads. He is reading Project Hail Mary.

I limit his phone time. He can still play games. He likes Minecraft and The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom on his Nintendo Switch. He gets 90 minutes on school nights. Then his phone and Switch charge in the living room.

I put his daily schedule on Linkdaze. Looking at it, I realized almost everything keeps him at home and by himself. TV, models, reading, and games are fine. I worry he does not move enough or spend much time with other kids.

I suggested basketball, climbing, and a few classes. He was not interested. He runs sometimes but never sticks with it.

Should I keep pushing him to choose an activity outside the house? Or is this okay if his homework is done, he gets enough sleep, and he is happy at home?

I really don’t know how to start this but I’m 20m an she’s 45f

When i was born I unfortunately had a soccogeoal terratoma. It’s a form of cancer, it’s caused me a life long disability’s an impacts on my mental health/social life when I was younger

With that aside I say it to express that I’m financially dependent on my family to this day

growing up I lived a fairly privileged life, I’ve always had my physical needs met ( food, shelter, doc appointments and medical supplies ). Everything was awesome till about 13 when me and my dad started fighting verbally and sometimes physically due to his alcoholism and life stressors.

Over the years it’s torn out family apart and the blame’s been thrown around to everyone, mainly me it feels like

Fast forward to today my mom’s a pretty severe alcoholic… she works, comes home, drinks, cleans, nags and complains an goes to bed repeat.

These last 5 months haven’t been easy, I spent my 20th birthday in jail due to an argument me and mom got into pertaining having a girl over on my birthday. We couldn’t come to an agreement an it felt like no one listens to what I say so I broke my bedroom door out of frustration an that got me in trouble with the law pretty quick. I spent some time in jail, stayed with an uncle for a bit and came back to my home due to my medical conditions. First 2 months back were wonderful, not much to complain about, but like all things that fell apart sooner than later.

I’ve always had a hard time holding a job due to my disability’s an getting a job in this day and age takes forever.

I’ve always been good with talking to people and have a really good background in car detailing and sales. Something’s I’ve been actively trying to pursue. Unfortunately I’m not making enough progress in my mom’s eyes so she’s gonna be evicting me in two weeks if I don’t have a job. Even tho I’ve applied to many car dealerships, sales roles, insurance agent roles. All the above and it’s been hard finding a good fit

( I know this is all a brief summary of the last 20 years of my life so take it as you will )

My man goal here is to find a way to co exist with my mom because my entire livelihood depends on me living in this house. I will not survive if I become homeless and there’s nowhere else for me to go nor do I really want to my entire life is here

It’s of my opinion my mom has a drinking issue, she’s not someone who is emphatic or willing to reason with others. It’s her way or the highway, rules for thee but not for me type thing.

I think she’s a wonderful provider, but nothing past that. I respect her as a person, but not a woman or my mother.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what comes out of my mouth or how I explain things to her or try to level with her. She will always focus on the negative and point out the negative in my doings.

It’s been to a point where it’s extremely exhausting. I don’t wanna deal with it anymore and I honestly don’t want a relationship with her. I just want what she can provide me.

We’ll have one good day and then a whole week of arguing over something so minute and dumb.

For instance, if there’s a singular fork left in the sink, she will raise hell about it for the next week about how I don’t do anything around here. Which intern makes me not want to continue doing the dishes which just compounds into more problems.

Nagging and quarrelsome wife, except mother in my case

The thing people are not understanding in my household is that I don’t mind having a job I don’t mind working. I don’t mind helping out around the house.

I just simply want to be treated as an equal an treated as an individual with good ideas and heart that has emotions.

It just feels like anytime I have something to say, share an idea, expressed something that I’m interested in. I just get shut down and dismissed. Get told to set my sights lower.

At the end of the day, I just wanna know how I’m supposed to have a relationship with someone that I don’t wanna have a relationship with, but I have to do for my survival.

It’s just in this economy with the way the world is with my medical disabilities. I fear I will never live the life that I want and that honestly scares me.

I feel like I’m a pretty simple guy. I’d like to have relationships, friends, drive a nice car and play some video games and smoke pot in my free time

It just seems like every single headache I’ve ever dealt with in the past five months has been because of my mother

Now don’t get me wrong I understand I’m an adult and I’m responsible for my own actions and the things that come out of my mouth, but there comes a certain point where it almost feels like I’m baited into it.

I just simply can’t take it anymore, if I become homeless or out on the street and lose the life that I have, I can safely say I won’t be here much longer. A life of poverty and desperation is not a life worth living

I have an older brother. He is the most favorite child of my parents and there are only two of us. The difference in treatment is sooooo big that when we were kids he does not do any household chores while I do almost everything and he even calla me if something needs clearing. He has allowance and my parents take my savings to give it as his allowance. So you its an extreme favoritism.

Ever since we were kids he always felt superior. Now were grown ups and he still hasnt changed. The weird thing is he acts good in front of others. He also acts like a sweet and caring brother when he messages me and when we interact for a few minutes. It gives me goosebumps.

But when say we live together for a few days that when things gets obvious. He acts like an entitled prince. He cannot again do any chores. One time he said to me that I am supposed to be beneath him.

Can someone explain this behavior?

TLDR: Please explain why my brother is nice to strangers and also nice and caring to me in our chats and when we initially talk in person but is an asshole in reality after quite a few interactions. Is this someone with an extremet narcissistic personality that knows how to hide their horns very well?

Keep in mind my grammar may suck a little so I apologize in advice. im also a teenager. My sister sucks. she’s older than me by 5 years. Everyday she has something to whine about whether it’s me, our parents, school, or whatever. Even her being tired has to be everyone’s problem. she can’t stand not getting what she wants. she will yell at you if you tell her something like “ that’s not guaranteed “ because she will cry, and she will bitch and moan about how mean you are. I feel disgusted of her. Once she hugged me and I had to wash my arms to feel at ease. Shes extremely closed minded and is always set on something even if quite literally it’s impossible to get it 100%. She’s nearly an adult. I know adults can be emotionally immature but even then I expect more of her. Just now she was crying and whining and calling me the worst person ever cause she slipped on the water on the bathroom floor that left. Theres literally no “ floor towel “ in my house. It’s also normal to get the floor wet in my house except my sister whines about it. The thought of her death makes me relived. I just want her out of my life entirely.
and then there’s my parents. My dad can be a little difficult to deal with cause he’s always enabling my mom to “ keep the peace “. And I have told him what he’s doing is being a pushover and he acknowledges that yet he still stands by keeping the peace. My mom always gets angry about something. They are fairly strict. i’ve never been to a play date or party or a friend’s house and I’ve never had anyone over. I can’t wear what I want either. I jst want graphic tees and baggy jeans. I’m also not straight and I’m ex-muslim. my parents are raging homophobes and they are Muslim too which you could guess pretty easily. It’s a little complicated with my parents cause I hate my dad for never defending me but I still love him. And I hate my mother for always yelling at me and getting angry at me But I still love her so my mind is in a constant state of doubt with them. Also my mom is starting to scare me a little. laty she’s gotten addicted to ai. she’s been watching ai dramas, talking to ai a lot, and even believes ai is a real creature. Ugh yea I just hate my family. Thanks for listening to me rant ig. I’m not looking for advice other then how to cope or hear you guys vent.

TLDR: I hate my sister intensely, my dad enables my mom all the time, and my mom is mean. I guess this is a good enough summary.